Bullying and attachment style
Bullying among school-aged children and adolescents has become a serious global issue in recent decades. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), bullying affects over 150 million students worldwide each year (WHO, 2021). In the United States alone, approximately 20% of students report being bullied during their school careers (U.S. Department of Education, 2021). Beyond the immediate psychological and physical harm, bullying victimization is associated with long-term negative outcomes such as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and poor academic performance (Copeland et al., 2013). As such, understanding the root causes and correlates of bullying behavior is crucial for informing prevention and intervention efforts. One factor that has received increasing research attention is the role of attachment styles developed in early caregiver relationships. This paper will review literature on the link between attachment styles and bullying, examining relationships between insecure attachment and both perpetration and victimization. Potential gender differences will also be explored.
Attachment Theory and Styles
Attachment theory, originally proposed by John Bowlby (1969), posits that the quality of early caregiving relationships profoundly shapes socioemotional development and interpersonal behaviors. During the first years of life, infants form attachments with primary caregivers that serve an evolutionary purpose of ensuring survival. These attachments provide a secure base from which infants can explore their environment. According to Ainsworth and colleagues (1978), children develop one of three main attachment styles based on caregiver responsiveness and availability: secure, anxious, and avoidant. Securely attached children view caregivers as responsive sources of comfort and support during times of distress. They are thus able to confidently explore their environments while using caregivers as a safe haven when needed. In contrast, anxious children experience caregivers as inconsistently responsive, leading them to constantly seek approval and reassurance. Avoidantly attached children view caregivers as rejecting or disengaged, and thus suppress emotional expression and needs for closeness as a coping mechanism. These internal working models of relationships are believed to carry forward into later peer interactions and relationships.
Attachment Styles and Bullying Perpetration
A growing body of research has linked insecure attachment styles with increased bullying behavior. For example, a meta-analysis by Miller et al. (2009) found moderate associations between both anxious and avoidant attachment and bullying perpetration. Several studies have also reported gender differences in these relationships. For males, anxious or ambivalent attachment to fathers appears to be a particular risk factor. Williams (2011) found that boys with anxious paternal attachment styles were more likely to bully others, possibly due to feelings of vulnerability and a need to assert dominance. Similarly, Kokkinos (2013) found that Greek adolescent boys who perceived their fathers as rejecting or overprotective were more likely to engage in physical bullying of peers.
For females, attachment style relationships to perpetration appear more complex. Some studies have linked avoidant maternal attachment with increased relational aggression and bullying among girls (Williams, 2011; Kokkinos & Voulgaridou, 2022). This may stem from distrust of intimacy and a tendency to manipulate relationships as a defense mechanism. However, other research has found that anxious paternal attachment, not avoidant maternal attachment, predicts female bullying (Kokkinos, 2013). These mixed findings suggest gendered socialization processes may moderate how attachment styles manifest in aggressive behaviors between boys and girls. Overall, insecure or anxious attachments, especially to fathers, seem to increase risk for bullying perpetration in both genders by fostering feelings of vulnerability, low self-worth, and a need to assert control over peers.
Attachment Styles and Bullying Victimization
Beyond perpetration, attachment styles may also influence risk of being bullied by others. Victimized children tend to display behaviors like social withdrawal, anxiety, and lack of assertiveness that make them targets (Copeland et al., 2013). Such characteristics are consistent with insecure attachment styles. Indeed, several studies have linked anxious attachment with increased victimization. For example, Rosen et al. (2021) found anxious attachment positively predicted traditional bullying victimization in a U.S. college sample, even after accounting for social support. Similarly, Kokkinos and Voulgaridou (2022) reported anxious attachment increased risk of both traditional and cyber victimization among Greek adolescents.
Gender differences also emerge in relationships between attachment and victimization. For boys, overprotective or engulfing maternal attachment styles have been linked to higher rates of peer victimization, possibly by hindering development of appropriate social skills (Williams, 2011). In contrast, maternal rejection or neglect appears more strongly associated with female victimization (Kokkinos, 2013). This may be because rejection threatens relational security more profoundly for girls socialized to value closeness. Overall, insecure attachment, especially anxious styles, seem to increase vulnerability to bullying by contributing to internal working models of unworthiness and difficulty asserting needs that make children targets. However, specific parental relationships, like overinvolved mothers for boys, may differentially impact victimization risk between genders.
Discussion and Conclusion
In summary, this review of literature suggests insecure attachment styles, formed through early caregiving relationships, are risk factors for both perpetrating and experiencing bullying behaviors during childhood and adolescence. Anxious or avoidant attachments, which develop from inconsistent, rejecting, or disengaged parenting, seem to undermine healthy socioemotional development in ways that increase aggression and vulnerability to peers. Gender differences also emerge, with anxious paternal attachment more strongly predicting male perpetration and overprotective maternal styles linked to increased male victimization. For females, avoidant maternal attachment and maternal rejection appear most strongly associated with aggression and vulnerability, respectively.
These findings carry implications for bullying prevention and intervention efforts. School-based social-emotional learning programs aimed at building empathy, emotion regulation skills, and conflict resolution could help children with insecure attachments develop healthier peer relationships (Lee et al., 2020). Parent education initiatives informing parents on the importance of responsive, attuned caregiving may also help reduce risk over the long term. Future research should continue exploring moderating factors like gender norms and cultural contexts to better understand how attachment styles manifest differently between groups. Longitudinal studies are also needed to clarify directionality in these relationships. Overall, this review highlights the value of viewing bullying through a developmental lens that considers early caregiving experiences central to socioemotional development with peers. A focus on attachment-informed approaches may enhance multi-level efforts to reduce bullying’s personal and public health impacts.
References
Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of attachment: A psychological study of the strange situation. Psychology Press.
Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and loss: Vol. 1. Attachment. Basic Books.
Copeland, W. E., Wolke, D., Angold, A., & Costello, E. J. (2013). Adult psychiatric outcomes of bullying and being bullied by peers in childhood and adolescence. JAMA psychiatry, 70(4), 419-426.
Kokkinos, C. M., & Voulgaridou, I. (2022). The role of attachment styles and perceived parenting in traditional and cyber bullying perpetration and victimization. Journal of school violence, 21(1), 130–147. https://doi.org/10.1080/15388220.2021.1925763
Kokkinos, C. M. (2013). Bullying and victimization in early adolescence: Associations with attachment style and perceived parenting. Journal of School Violence, 12(2), 174-192.
Lee, S., Kim, J., & Kim, H. (2020). The mediating effects of attachment styles on the relationship between parental bonding and cyberbullying behaviors among Korean adolescents. Children and Youth Services Review, 108, 104588. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.childyouth.2019.104588
Miller, J. D., Lynam, D., Zimmerman, R. S., Logan, T. K., Leukefeld, C., & Clayton, R. (2004). The utility of the Five Factor Model in understanding risky sexual behavior. Personality and Individual Differences, 36(7), 1611-1626.
Rosen, L. H., Scott, S. R., & DeOrnellas, K. (2021). Associations between attachment styles, social support, and traditional bullying victimization. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 36(7-8), NP3577–NP3599. https://doi.org/10.1177/0886260518795176
U.S. Department of Education, National Center for Education Statistics. (2021). Student Reports of Bullying and Cyber-Bullying: Results From the 2017 School Crime Supplement to the National Crime Victimization Survey.
Williams, K. (2011). Bullying behaviors and attachment styles.
World Health Organization. (2021). Bullying among children and youth. https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/bullying-among-children-and-youth
