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Table of Contents — Course Reader — English 1A – Spring 2020
Course Syllabus 2
Formatting Requirements 6
Plagiarism Policy 6
Sample Formatting Page 7
Essay Revision Process 8
Sample Process Letter 9
1. Inductive Analysis Essay (4-5 pgs.) 50 points Page
Essay Prompt 10
Nature by Ralph Waldo Emerson 11
“The Transparent I” by William Fitzgerald (Sample Essay) 12
2. Deductive Analysis Essay (6-7 pgs.) 100 points Page
Essay Prompt 15
“Seeing” by Annie Dillard 16
An Outline of the Essential Key Points of Dillard’s Essay 23
Sample Paragraphs for writing about “Seeing” 25
3. Personal Essay (4-6 pages) 25 points Page
Essay Prompt 26
“Haudenosaunee Thanksgiving Address” 28
“Allegiance to Gratitude” by Robin Wall Kimmerer 31
4. Research Essay (8-10 pgs.) 200 points Page
Essay Prompt 37
Sample Prospectus 40
Sample Annotated Bibliography 41
Sample Outline for a Possible Approach to Writing the Research Essay 42
“The Impermanence of Order: The True Nature of Gardens” by William Fitzgerald 43
Basic Outline for “The Impermanence of Order” by William Fitzgerald 47
“Gardening Means War” by Michael Pollan 49
“The How-To Garden” by Jim Nollman 53
5. Reading & Writing Project for The Botany of Desire by Michael Pollan 25 pts Page
Reading and Writing Project Prompt 63
6. Group Presentation (20-30 Minutes) 25 pts Page
Group Presentation Prompt 67
Sentence Combining Page
Sentence Patterns 65
Clause/Phrase Review 67
Sentence Focus 69
Coordination 72
Conjunctive Adverbs and Transitional Phrases 73
Subordination 75
Run Together Sentences (RTS) 78
Free Modifiers: Adjective Clauses 80
Free Modifiers: Noun Phrase Appositives (NPA) 86
Free Modifiers: Clause Modifying Verbal Phrases (CMVP) 89
Free Modifiers: Absolute Phrases 92
Correlative Conjunctions 95
Fragments 96
PIE Paragraph Structure 98
Quoting, Paraphrasing, and Summarizing vs. Plagiarism 100
MLA – Format for Bibliographical Sources Page
Citing Sources In-Text: Contextualizing Sources 101
The Mechanics of In-Text Citations 104
Citing Sources in Your Essay as You Move Between Different Sources 107
Italicizing Titles vs. Using Quotation Marks 109
Formatting the Works Cited Page 109
Basic MLA Formatting for Common Sources 112
Punctuation 114
Faulty Parallel Structure 119
Plagiarism 120
A Friendly Breakdown of How Emerson’s Nature Works 121
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English 1A (4 units) — Spring 2020
Monday Evenings (CRN 30847-501 ) 6:10 pm – 10 pm (HC 215)
Tuesday Evenings (CRN 30055-503 ) 6:10 pm – 10 pm (Batmale 551)
Instructor: Nathan Wirth | Phone: 415.239.3199 (best to use email) |
Email: nwirth@ccsf.edu | Office: Art 213
Office Hours: Mondays and Wednesdays 5 pm to 6 pm and By Appointment
Prerequisite for the course: Completion of English 96, 88, or 88b with a C or better or placement in English 1A
Course Website on Canvas: https://ccsf.instructure.com
Important Dates
Last Day to Drop Without a “W”: Jan 31 | Last Day to Withdraw: April 16 |
Monday Class Final Exam Date: May 18 | Tuesday Class Final Exam Date: May 19
Required Texts & Materials
A Reliable Internet connection for Canvas
Course Reader (Download from Canvas)
The Botany of Desire by Michael Pollan (NOT available in Bookstore)
Major Learning Outcomes
Outcome 1: Analyze university-level texts.
Outcome 2: Compose research-based, organized essays that are driven by an arguable thesis and employ critical thinking.
Outcome 3: Apply the major conventions of standard written English.
Outcome 4: Choose and integrate credible sources for support, using appropriate citation format.
Course Description
This course is, first and foremost, a class about writing. We will consider a variety of strategies for combining clauses
and phrases (adjective clauses, noun phrase appositives, verbal phrases, absolute phrases), practice ways to focus
sentences more clearly, discuss how to develop and cultivate a thesis, and go over the basic elements and strategies
for writing a research paper (citing sources, integrating quotations, doing research, etc.). We will also, as a class and
in groups, be discussing the various texts and articles that you will be reading during the semester. Naturally, any
class that focuses on writing and reading also inevitably leads to thinking. This course is designed to take you through
a variety of experiences, perspectives and written assignments that will help you to build a well-rounded
understanding of the various questions that will be posed during this course and then to write about them.
Logging into Canvas
• Log into Canvas from MyCCSF: https://www.ccsf.edu/en/myccsf.html
• Username: Your CCSF ID (example W12345678, @12345678, or D12345678)
• Password: Your RAMID password
In order to take this class, you must have reliable access to the Internet. All homework-related assignments
and essays must be uploaded to Canvas, so if you do not have access to the site, you will not be able to submit
your work.
You must download and print the course reader, which contains all of the assignments and handouts for the
semester. You are required to bring the course reader to every class. It can be found on Canvas.
Lab Hours Requirement
• The English Department requires all 1A students to complete the online library research tutorials. See Canvas for
details and links.
• Failure to complete ALL the tutorials and/or turn in the badges to prove you have completed them will result in no
participation points (a loss of 25 points).
Essays/Written Work/Assignments/
Formatting: All written work (except for rough drafts and notes) must be typed and double spaced. If you don’t
follow the proper formatting, I will return the paper to you. It is essential that you meet the minimum required page
limit. If you do not, then points will be deducted from your essay. You are always welcome to write more than the
minimum. Here are my basic, standard formatting guidelines.
• Set the margins of your document to 1 inch on all sides.
• Use Times New Roman 12 pt.
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• Pages must be numbered. Place the number in the top right corner. Omit the number on the first page.
• Indent the first line of paragraphs five spaces from the left margin.
• Include a title
• Staple the pages.
• Underline your thesis statement.
• No large gaps between paragraphs.
Assignments: You will be given several essential assignments for your research paper (including, for example, a
prospectus and an annotated bibliography) as well as a Reading and Writing Project for the book. Details are
available on Canvas and in the course reader.
Process Letters: For each 0f the four essays, you are required to include a brief letter that outlines the difficulties
and successes you experienced while working on your essay. Your letter should be a short reflection (a) about your
experience writing your essay. What did you struggle with? What problems did you encounter? How did you
overcome them? What do you feel satisfied about? Any concerns that you want me to address when I read your
essay? The pedagogy behind this is to allow each student the opportunity to actually think about his / her writing
process and to reflect on what each student does or does not do when writing. You can find a sample in the course
reader.
Group Presentations: Instead of a final exam, you will be participating in a group project that will be presented
either on May 11th or May 18th. All students must attend both class meetings. See the course reader for a
description.
Revisions: You have the option to rewrite the first two essays (unless you receive an A). For your rewrite, you must
include a detailed analysis of the changes that you made (e.g. what was the mistake? what did you do to change
it?). Each rewrite, if done well, can earn up to a full grade; however, in order to earn that many points, your
rewrite must be significantly improved and include detailed notes about the changes you made. Specific details are
available in the course reader and on Canvas. Upload to Canvas.
• If your first two essays do not meet the standards and requirements for a passing essay, you will have to meet
me during an office hour to discuss strategies for fixing those issues. Failure to rewrite the essay within three
weeks after I return the essay will result in a failing grade for that essay (which means that you will not be able
to pass the course).
Plagiarism: Here is the official CCSF policy on plagiarism: “Plagiarism is defined as the unauthorized use of the
language and thought of another author and representing them as your own.” Plagiarism is a violation of the rules
of student conduct, and discipline may include, but is not limited to,” a failing grade in an assignment, test, or class
in proven cases of cheating or plagiarism or other academic dishonesty.”
• My official policy is that you will receive a failing grade for the assignment (0 points for the assignment). At
my discretion, I sometimes offer a plagiarizer the opportunity to rewrite the essay for an F with points (e.g.
55/100). If you should plagiarize a second time, then you will receive a failing grade for the essay and, as a
result, for the class.
• My official thoughts about Plagiarism: I feel that plagiarizing is exceptionally lame. Why bother going to
school if you have no intention of doing your own work? If you are stressed out about your writing, just come
talk to me and we can discuss your situation.
Staying on Task: It is essential that you read the essay and assignment prompts carefully. Any essays that do not
follow what the prompt specifically asks for will need to be rewritten. I will read the essay after it has been
revised, but it will not receive any comments. That said— the essays are designed to allow you the opportunity to
develop exactly how you wish to address the questions posed, so you can still express your individuality.
Late Essays: I will accept late essays, but if your essay is late, I will provide no comments and return it at my
convenience (which might take a while). You are NOT allowed to rewrite late essays. All late essays must be
turned in no later than two weeks after the due date.
Requirements for Passing the Class: All the essays must be completed with a passing grade or you cannot pass the
course. No exceptions.
Help: I will gladly comment on thesis statements, outlines, or a paragraph or two from your essays via email or
during office appointments– but not on entire essays. Make sure that you have specific questions about specific
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things before you email me or come to an office appointment. You can also get lots of quality help in the English
Lab (Rosenberg Library R205) — and your visits to the lab count towards your lab-hours requirement.
Bring the course workbook to each and every class. Check the course schedule on Canvas before each class to see
what we will be covering and make sure that you bring the necessary materials to class.
Attendance/Participation/Class Discussion/Teacher-Student Conference
Attendance: Let me make this as obvious as possible. Your presence is important both to me and for your success
in the course. If you have made vacation plans, have work obligations, can’t attend the final class, and/or have no
intention of showing up regularly, then I would not recommend taking this course. Even if you find me and/or the
material boring, you still have to come to class; however, if that is how you feel, I would strongly recommend that
you find a teacher and/or class more to your liking and schedule.
• For a night class, you are allowed one unexcused absence (no questions asked and no consequences for that
absence), but I reserve the right to reduce your participation grade by five points for each subsequent
absence. Please note that this is not an invitation to miss a class.
• If you miss three or more classes in a row before the final withdrawal date — and do not contact me to let me
know if you are still in the class— I will drop/withdraw you from the course.
• If you miss a total of five class meetings before the final withdrawal date — I will drop/withdraw you from the
course. There comes a point when you are just not really taking the course– and this, as far as I am concerned,
is pretty much when you have arrived at that point.
• You are expected to arrive to class on time and to bring the proper materials (course reader, assignments …
check Canvas for details). If you are late then YOU have to let me know, or you will remain marked absent.
Three “lates / tardies” equal one absence.
• Please note that if you miss a class, you are still responsible for all material/assignments covered in class.
• I recommend that you exchange email addresses with at least a couple of students so that you can keep up
with anything you might miss in class. Though I will be as helpful as I can, do not rely on me to keep you up to
date. I will not respond to emails that ask me what was covered in class. Check Canvas for the latest schedule
/ due dates / required reading, etc. EVERYTHING is there.
• If life deals one of those many unfortunate situations that we all dread but must deal with, and, as a result,
you have to be absent for a few classes, then please extend the courtesy to let me know. I do not need to
know the details—just that you are “dealing with something” and, thus, missing classes. I will drop or
withdraw you from the class if I have not heard from you after two weeks. Don’t just vanish! Keep in touch
and let me know what is going on.
Participation Grade: I base your participation grade on attendance, class participation, and completing the lab
work (25 pts). Most students, when attendance is good, receive 21 or 22 points. To get more points you need to
participate in discussions. Talking during class while others are speaking (whether it be me or your fellow
classmates) will result in a reduced participation grade as well.
Class Discussion: This class is built around a lot of class discussion and interaction; therefore, it is important that
you take part in class discussions—which means that you must put your best effort towards reading the material
and thinking about it. Consistent lack of participation will result in a lower participation score.
Teacher-Student Conference: Between April 27th and May 4th, I will conduct individual conferences with each
student. Failure to participate in a conference will result in losing all your participation points. Check Canvas for
details.
General Class Rules
Eating & Drinking in Class: Official school rules prohibit eating in class, so if you spill something, clean up after
yourself.
Smart Phones & Laptops in Class: I keep changing my mind about using phones in the classroom. This semester, you
are NOT ALLOWED to use your phone in class. It MUST be kept in your bag and away from you and your desk. You
may use a laptop.
Do not disrupt the class. If you do, I will ask you to leave and then mark you absent.
 You are adults and I expect you to act responsibly/accordingly.
 DO NOT TALK TO YOUR FELLOW CLASSMATES DURING LECTURES OR CLASS DISCUSSIONS!
 Do not sleep or do homework during class. If you feel the class is boring and/or stupid, I encourage you to
drop the course and find one that is more interesting to you.
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Other Concerns
 Email Addresses: Make sure that you check the email the school has provided you. You can forward your
school email to your regular email account (and that way you won’t miss anything the school sends you). This is
the email that I am provided and my only way of contacting you. All mail related to Canvas is delivered to your
school email as well.
 This class is rated “R.” From time to time strong language and discussion of adult themes and situations may
occur. If these kinds of things offend you, you should consider taking a different course.
 Accommodations: If you need classroom or testing accommodations or have any other special needs, please
make an appointment with me as soon as possible so that we can discuss the needed accommodations. DSPS is
located in Room 323 of the Rosenberg Library, phone (415) 452 5481, https://www.ccsf.edu/en/studentservices/
student-counseling/dsps.html
Grade Breakdown (Subject to Change)
70% of your grade
• Inductive Analysis Essay (Emerson) = 50 points
• Deductive Analysis Essay (Annie Dillard’s “Seeing”) = 100 points
• Personal Essay (Kimmerer) = 25 pts
• Research Essay (Gardening) = 200 points
20% of Your Grade
• In-class Essay = 25 pts
• Group Presentation = 25 points
• Reading & Writing Project for The Botany of Desire = 25 pts
• Assignments – various points (see Canvas)
10% of Your Grade
• Participation = 25 pts
o Attendance
o Class Discussion
o Online Library Tutorials
o Student-Teacher Conference (in class on April 27 & May 4)
The Complete and Detailed Schedule for the Class Is on Canvas
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Formatting Requirements
If you don’t follow the proper formatting, I will ask you to revise the essay and fix the formatting
errors. Your paper will then be considered late. It is essential that you meet the minimum
required page limit. If you do not, then points will be deducted from your essay. You are always
welcome to write more than the minimum.
Here are the basic requirements for all essays (including the Multitasking Letter).
• Double space
• Times New Roman 12pt Font
• 1-inch margins all around
• Pages must be numbered.
• No Large Gaps Between Paragraphs
• Include your name at the top of the page (you may also include the course, assignment, and
date)
• Include a title.
• Underline your thesis statement (if applicable).
• Include a works cited page (see each essay prompt for details)
• Save the file in the following format: Your Last Name_Your First Name_Essay-Number
o Example: Cheng_Yingyi_Essay-One
Do not forget your process letter! Make it the first page of the document.
———————————————————————————————————-
Plagiarism Policy
Here is the official CCSF policy on plagiarism: “Plagiarism is defined as the unauthorized use of
the language and thought of another author and representing them as your own.” Plagiarism is
a violation of the rules of student conduct, and discipline may include, but is not limited to,” a
failing grade in an assignment, test, or class in proven cases of cheating or plagiarism or other
academic dishonesty.”
My official policy is that you will receive a failing grade for the assignment (0 points for the
assignment). If you should plagiarize a second time, then you will receive a failing grade for the
class.
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Sample Format Guidelines for Essays
Not a Writing Sample – Just a Formatting Sample
Bane
Personal Essay (Solitude)
December 31, 9768
The Eye of Solitude
Since my early childhood days, I have often returned to the Point Reyes National
Seashore, but after moving to Marin County a few years ago, that “often” has been
replaced with “as much as once a week,” especially during the winter and spring after a
good rain has settled but the clouds have not yet left. As a child, my family was far too
poor to ever travel, but over several summers we would board the Golden Gate Transit
bus before sunrise, in the dark, and then leave to come home on the final bus, which
would return us to San Francisco in the dark. And thus began a tradition of sorts, one
that stretches back to those early childhood days and looks further forward to whatever
I may encounter in future visits. Now that I live in Novato, a forty five minute drive
away, I visit Drake’s Beach each week, camera, neutral density filters, and tripod in
hand so that I can find yet another way to photograph this stretch of beach where land
ends and the sea begins– or if you wish where the sea ends and land begins– or,
perhaps, where the land and the sea simply meet, that shoreline bringing to mind the
line on a map where the blue of the water is separated by the color of the land mass.
These are the kinds of thoughts that I often play with as I wait for the seconds to pass
into minutes during the long exposure photographs that I work on each visit. Indeed,
gazing out into the sea, I often find a certain kind of silence, a silence that is experienced
in between the sounds of the sea, a silence that I only find in solitude.
Lately, I have been thinking about what Emerson and Thoreau had to say about
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Essay Revision Process
If your grade is below passing, then disregard this process. You must meet with me in person so that we can
discuss your rewrite. It is your responsibility to contact me and make this appointment.
This exercise in revision is not just a process of fixing the corrections or responding to the comments I made.
Treat this as a revision of the essay as a whole. Think about how you can improve or tighten up your
points/writing. In other words, this is a revision of the whole essay. Any essay with only minor changes will not
receive any additional points.
As you revise your essay keep notes about the changes you have made to your essay. I need to know WHY you
made EVERY change. Note: Because Nathan marked it / told me to is not an acceptable reason. If I asked you a
question or commented about something you wrote, I expect you to address what I said and tell me how and
why you fixed it. I want to know what your reasoning is for every change you make.
After you have revised the essay, then I need you to explain on the newly revised essay itself, what you
changed and why. You need to explain this in as much detail as possible:
(1) Indicate what your previous grade for the essay was.
(2) Explain what the issue was
(3) Explain what you did to revise it
(4) Explain why what you did improved your essay / fixed the issue
 If you do not follow these requirements, then I will not read your revised essay.
 The amount of points that you are rewarded will reflect the quality of your rewrite and how detailed your
explanations are.
 If you received an A- or better, then you cannot rewrite the essay.
 Only the first two essays of the semester can be revised / rewritten
 I DO NOT comment on revised essays nor can you revise a revised essay.
You must upload the revised essay to Canvas. There are two ways that you can do this.
I. Write the comments directly on the newly revised essay and upload a scanned pdf or jpegs to Canvas
Go ahead and write on the essay in pencil. Wherever you made changes explain 2-4 above. When you are
done, either (a) take a photo of each page and upload the jpgs to Canvas or (b) scan the essay and upload to
Canvas as a pdf.
II. Use the insert comments feature in Microsoft Word and then upload the Word doc to Canvas.
Revise your essay and once you are done:
 Highlight the text you want to comment on.
 On the ribbon, go to the Review tab and select New Comment.
 Type your comment in the field that appears in the right margin. It contains your name and a time
stamp
 To edit your comment, click the comment box and make the change.
 Click anywhere in the document to continue working.
 Save the revised essay with your inserted comments.
 Save the Document as Revised Essay One or Revised Essay Two along with your name in the title.
Example: Zheng_Jiayi_revised-essay-one.docx
 Upload the Word Doc to Canvas (Link can be found on Canvas at the top of the page).
If I am not requiring you to rewrite / revise your essay, then don’t bother with this process unless
you really want to rewrite your essay and learn something from the process. Anything less will
receive no points. Just changing a few quick things will not result in any additional points).
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SAMPLE PROCESS LETTER
Dear Mr. Nathan,
Overall, I feel like I understand the question and answered it well; however, I really struggled
with my introduction and my conclusion. I know that they are supposed to be like the bookends of the
essay and really tie together my overall points/thesis, but I don’t feel like I fully introduce my essay and I
am not certain if the introduction even really relates to my thesis. I wish I had taken more time with it. I
am not entirely certain if I ever fully figured out exactly what Emerson is saying about solitude. I do,
however, feel that I have a good grasp of Emerson’s main ideas (I am not certain that I adequately
explained his thoughts, and I may have claimed he said things he never actually says in the essay).
I feel confident about my body paragraphs. I worked very hard on trying to write good
transitions between paragraphs and I think most of them are very effective, but I also think a few of them
are a bit too formulaic. I think I did a really good job integrating the sources and finding ways to support
my argument that solitude helps us to understand nature in very human terms. I am used to thinking of
the first sentence of each paragraph as a topic sentence, so it might take me a while to adjust to your
instruction about considering them as points.
I wish I had taken a little more time to revise the essay. I feel good about the writing overall, but
I know that I could have cleaned up and better focused some of the sentences. I’d really appreciate it if
you would comment on the conclusion and let me know if you think I successfully tied together all the
elements of my body paragraphs and my thesis.
I plan to start the next essay even earlier so that I have lots of extra time to proofread and
rethink my sentences (and make sure that all the elements of the essay work together smoothly). I know
every student says that!
Thanks!
Miley
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Essay 1: Inductive Analysis Essay — Emerson (50 pts.) Length: 4-5 pgs. Due Date: Check Canvas
Task: Analyze the text of the excerpt from Emerson’s Nature and discuss how the writer explains (a) his experience
with nature while in solitude and (b) the spiritual connection that he has with God through nature. Your essay
MUST show and specifically explain how the various parts of Emerson’s essay relate, connect and lead to the
“transparent eyeball” passage.
• To successfully accomplish this task, you will need to analyze Emerson’s actual language. This is essential. I am
not asking you what your thoughts are about Emerson’s views. I am asking you to analyze what he writes.
• You need to make sure that you analyze the following key elements in Emerson’s essay:
a) What Emerson feels is required to achieve the kind of solitude he is discussing. How one can achieve it.
b) How our awe for the stars help us to understand what true solitude means.
c) How all “natural objects” can fill us with the same sense of awe if we are open to their influence.
d) How seeing this way is the way the poet sees.
e) How seeing with this sense of wonder is the way many people experience nature when they are children.
f) How the “transparent eyeball” passage represents the awe, the willingness to be open to the influence of
all “natural objects,” the way the poet sees, the child-like wonder that we can have for nature, and his
connection with God through nature.  be very thorough about this (do not skip it).
Please note I am not asking you to discuss your views about his thoughts. Your task is to analyze the text (so you will
need to summarize, paraphrase and directly quote from Emerson and use your analysis of the text to shape your
understanding of how he experiences solitude and nature). And your essay is not only a summary … it is an analysis.
Do not write from the perspective of what you think Emerson is trying to say; instead, write from the perspective of
what he actually writes and how his observations are interconnected– and what they, ultimately, lead to.
 Audience: Your audience will be familiar with this excerpt, so you should not retell everything that happens in
them. Instead, focus on those passages that you choose to analyze. You should summarize, paraphrase and quote
those passages that will help you to demonstrate how Emerson describes his experiences with nature in solitude. Do
not use “I” or “You.”
 Essay Structure: This is an inductive analysis essay, which means you do not begin your essay with the traditional
introduction that includes a thesis statement. Instead, you should, after stating the title and the author’s full name,
jump right in and start analyzing what Emerson does and how he does it. Your goal is to connect the various
elements of his essay and show how he ultimately connects with God through his deep connection with nature.
Thus, it makes the most sense to discuss his essay by analyzing these elements in the order he writes them in—your
job also including the need to make connections between these elements. Your conclusion must, ultimately and
conclusively, state how Emerson’s essay explores his connection with God through solitude and nature. And, very
importantly, state your thesis in your conclusion. Think of it this way: this essay form requires you to argue towards
your thesis (instead of stating it at the beginning of your essay).
 MLA Formatting:
(1) When writing about the essay, use the present tense (Example: Emerson explains a certain quality of solitude).
(2) In your introductory paragraph, refer to the title of the full essay (Nature) and the author’s full name (Ralph
Waldo Emerson).
(3) For the rest of the essay, use the author’s last name (Emerson). Do not repeat his full name again.
(4) Once you have mentioned the title, do not mention it again. Do not write “in the essay.” We will know that you
are discussing the essay.
(5) For in-text citations / quotations, use the page number in the course reader. You do not need to mention the
author’s last name in the citation because once you have introduced us to the title and the author’s name, we will
know that you are only quoting that source because your task is to analyze that essay and that essay only.
(6) Provide a Works Cited page. Here is the correctly formatted bibliographical citation. Pay attention to the
italicized titles and the indented second line.
Emerson, Ralph Waldo. Nature. English 1A Course Reader, edited by Nathan Wirth, Nathan’s Mind Inc.,
2019, p. 11.
 Final Draft: Upload your final draft to Canvas. Check the course schedule for due dates and the upload link.
 Process Letter: You must also include a process letter, in which you write about your writing process for the
essay. Please make this the first page of your document (and it does not count as one of the required pages). You
can find a sample process letter in this course reader.
 Formatting: Check the formatting requirements in this course reader before you upload your essay.
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Nature by Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1836
To go into solitude, a man needs to retire as much from his chamber as from society. I am not solitary whilst I
read and write, though nobody is with me. But if a man would be alone, let him look at the stars. The rays that come
from those heavenly worlds, will separate between him and what he touches. One might think the atmosphere was
made transparent with this design, to give man, in the heavenly bodies, the perpetual presence of the sublime.1 Seen
in the streets of cities, how great they are! If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men
believe and adore; and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown!
But every night come out these envoys of beauty, and light the universe with their admonishing2 smile.
The stars awaken a certain reverence, because though always present, they are inaccessible; but all natural
objects make a kindred impression, when the mind is open to their influence. Nature never wears a mean appearance.
Neither does the wisest man extort3 her secret, and lose his curiosity by finding out all her perfection. Nature never
became a toy to a wise spirit. The flowers, the animals, the mountains, reflected the wisdom of his best hour, as much
as they had delighted the simplicity of his childhood.
When we speak of nature in this manner, we have a distinct but most poetical sense in the mind. We mean
the integrity of impression made by manifold natural objects. It is this which distinguishes the stick of timber of the
wood-cutter, from the tree of the poet. The charming landscape, which I saw this morning, is indubitably4 made up of
some twenty or thirty farms. Miller owns this field, Locke that, and Manning the woodland beyond. But none of them
owns the landscape. There is a property in the horizon which no man has but he whose eye can integrate all the parts,
that is, the poet. This is the best part of these men’s farms, yet to this their warranty-deeds give no title.
To speak truly, few adult persons can see nature. Most persons do not see the sun. At least they have a very
superficial seeing. The sun illuminates only the eye of the man, but shines into the eye and the heart of the child. The
lover of nature is he whose inward and outward senses are still truly adjusted to each other; who has retained the
spirit of infancy even into the era of manhood. His intercourse with heaven and earth becomes part of his daily food.
In the presence of nature, a wild delight runs through the man, in spite of real sorrows. Nature says, — he is my
creature, and maugre5 all his impertinent6 griefs, he shall be glad with me. Not the sun or the summer alone, but
every hour and season yields its tribute of delight; for every hour and change corresponds to and authorizes a
different state of the mind, from breathless noon to grimmest midnight. Nature is a setting that fits equally well a
comic or a mourning piece. In good health, the air is a cordial7 of incredible virtue. Crossing a bare common, in snow
puddles, at twilight, under a clouded sky, without having in my thoughts any occurrence of special good fortune, I
have enjoyed a perfect exhilaration. I am glad to the brink of fear. In the woods too, a man casts off his years, as the
snake his slough, and at what period soever of life, is always a child. In the woods, is perpetual youth. Within these
plantations of God, a decorum and sanctity reign, a perennial8 festival is dressed, and the guest sees not how he
should tire of them in a thousand years. In the woods, we return to reason and faith. There I feel that nothing can
befall me in life, — no disgrace, no calamity, (leaving me my eyes,) which nature cannot repair. Standing on the bare
ground, — my head bathed by the blithe air, and uplifted into infinite space, — all mean egotism vanishes. I become a
transparent eye-ball; I am nothing; I see all; the currents of the Universal Being circulate through me; I am part or
particle of God. The name of the nearest friend sounds then foreign and accidental: to be brothers, to be
acquaintances, — master or servant, is then a trifle and a disturbance. I am the lover of uncontained and immortal
beauty. In the wilderness, I find something more dear and connate9 than in streets or villages. In the tranquil
landscape, and especially in the distant line of the horizon, man beholds somewhat as beautiful as his own nature.
The greatest delight which the fields and woods minister, is the suggestion of an occult relation between man
and the vegetable. I am not alone and unacknowledged. They nod to me, and I to them. The waving of the boughs in
the storm, is new to me and old. It takes me by surprise, and yet is not unknown. Its effect is like that of a higher
thought or a better emotion coming over me, when I deemed I was thinking justly or doing right.
Yet it is certain that the power to produce this delight, does not reside in nature, but in man, or in a harmony
of both. It is necessary to use these pleasures with great temperance. For, nature is not always tricked in holiday
attire, but the same scene which yesterday breathed perfume and glittered as for the frolic of the nymphs, is
overspread with melancholy today. Nature always wears the colors of the spirit. To a man laboring under calamity, the
heat of his own fire hath sadness in it. Then, there is a kind of contempt of the landscape felt by him who has just lost
by death a dear friend. The sky is less grand as it shuts down over less worth in the population.
1 sublime = of such grandeur, or beauty as to inspire great admiration or awe (so much awe that it comes with fear / respect & thus reverence)
2 admonish = to urge to a duty; remind
3 extort = obtain (something) by force, threats, or other unfair means
4 indubitably = too evident to be doubted
5 maugre = in spite of
6 impertinent = not pertinent to a particular matter; irrelevant.
7 cordial = a comforting or pleasant-tasting medicine
8 perennial = lasting or existing for a long or apparently infinite time; enduring or continually recurring.
9 connate = (especially of ideas or principles) existing in a person or thing from birth; innate.
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Sample of Essay One – Emerson
William Fitzgerald
English 1A
Mr. Nathan
The Transparent I
Ralph Waldo Emerson begins his essay Nature by offering his readers the conditions necessary to
find a certain quality of solitude, one that he later experiences when he finds a very deep and personal
connection with nature and, ultimately, God: “To go into solitude, a man needs to retire as much from his
chamber as from society” (10). One should note that Emerson specifically indicates the necessity to leave
both his connections with home and the society that his home is located in; in fact, he indicates the need
to sever his ties from others even further by realizing that being physically alone, being at home without
anyone else around, is not necessarily enough, for even when he reads and writes in solitude he is still
connected with those whose thoughts he might read and for those whom he might write. To best find the
truest sense of the solitary, he explains one should look to the brilliance of the heavens and its many
stars, for this is how one can feel truly disconnected from the rest of the world. The stars, Emerson
writes, “will separate” man “between him and what he touches” (10). In other words, those who look to
the brilliance of the stars will see something filled with such immensity they will feel a sense of awe that
separates them from all that is material, all that is touchable, and, as a result, leave them to feel alone
and solitary in the face of such grandeur. But the stars are not just beautiful. They also fill one with the
sense of the sublime, a word which not only describes the sheer beauty and grandeur of the lights that fill
the night but also indicates the power of the stars, a power and intensity that elicits veneration and
respect and awe and, thus, a touch of uneasiness. That fear, that respect, that reverence, is essential to
understanding what Emerson wishes to communicate because the heavens in all their vastness and
mystery are, in his words, “the city of God” (10). So, ultimately, Emerson equates the intensity of this
quality of solitude he seeks with the intensity of connecting with God, but, at this point, God is high in the
heavens and out of his reach.
Next, he shifts from the reverence and awe one might feel for the stars to reverence for the
many facets of nature down here on earth, writing that that the stars are “inaccessible,” that we can
never touch them and that, in the end, this is an essential part of the reason why they “awaken a certain
reverence” (10)— “awaken” implying our senses and spirit have been asleep or dulled and that through
this experience those inactive senses are stirred up, excited, and aroused. And this is precisely where
Emerson associates that same awakening, that same awe, that same reverence for the majesty of the
nighttime sky with all and any “natural objects” (10), the phrase “kindred impression” (10) connecting the
stars to all “natural objects” (all of which we can touch, unlike the stars, if we choose). “Kindred”
denotes there is a definite similarity between the stars and the natural objects of the earth, but even
though they are not the same, they do, in a sense, come from the same natural origin (later in the essay,
the “Universal Being”). “Impression” indicates the effect something has on the mind, the conscience, and
one’s feelings. So, when combined in this context, these two words indicate, once again, that Emerson is
drawing a connection between the intensity and awe we hold for the stars and the awe and reverence
that we might have for any natural object, but, for this to happen, the mind must be “open to their
influence” (10). “Influence” is the key word here, for it indicates that experiencing these natural objects
and surroundings can affect one’s moods and feelings, that one can experience the same awe for the stars
in the entirety of nature if one is open to seeing that influence, that, ultimately, nature is as grand and
awe-inspiring as those stars (and, by connection, one can also experience God in and through nature).
Emerson then shifts to explaining how the wise person— i.e., the person whose mind is open to
the influence of nature— recognizes that nature does not act meanly, that nature is not a trivial toy to be
played with, that nature never ceases to amaze and intrigue the person who experiences it, and, perhaps
most importantly, the truly wise person realizes the best moments experiencing nature as an adult return
one to the wonder which childhood was often filled with, to a time before the experiences of being an
adult deadened and dulled the innocence and curiosity of childhood experiences in nature. In other
words, one of the deepest consequences of opening one’s mind to the influence of nature is that it
awakens, in part, some of that lost wonder of childhood. Emerson then connects this reawakened mind
to a “most poetical sense” of how we see things. To see things poetically is to see them as they are and
not in an analytical or purely functional way; the poet sees nature in its entirety and not by its material
divisions. He offers the example of the woodcutter— who sees a tree only for its potential materials—
and the poet, who sees the tree for what it is: as a whole tree with all the beauty one might associate with
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a tree— as well as a “natural object” that shares a “kindred impression” with the stars that invokes a
sense of awe, reverence and wonder. He further explains this poetical perception by describing a walk
through a variety of farms and woods, in which he sees all these parcels of individually owned land as one
landscape and not a landscape divided by ownership. The poetically-awakened mind realizes one can
possess a deed to some land, but one can never own the landscape, the view, the experience (and the
awe and the wonder it can invoke if one’s mind is open to the influence) .
And it is this poetical sense of mind that Emerson sees through when he later goes for a walk in
the woods at twilight. The poetically-minded individual is the one whose mind, heart, spirit and eyes,
“whose inward and outward senses,” are “still truly adjusted to each other; who has retained the spirit of
infancy even into the era of manhood” (10). Indeed, the “lover of nature,” as Emerson refers to it, sees
nature not only with the eyes but with a curiosity and exhilaration that has not been deadened, one that
can continually be reawakened. As he takes his walk, he feels a perfect exhilaration and his senses are
filled with delight, recognizing that every season brings its own delights and reactions and that, very
importantly, one can feel a sense of excitement even when one feels sad. For Emerson, experiencing
nature is like a ritual, one that offers him an opportunity to communicate with both the heavens and the
earth, for God can be found— if one’s mind is open to such influence, to such awe and reverence— in
both those celestial stars he discusses at the beginning of the essay and the natural world that he is now
taking a walk in. He recognizes that a man (woman) can “cast off his years” and “what period soever of
life” be always a child (10). So, before he describes the very intense connection with the natural world
that he is about to have, Emerson once again connects the feeling of childhood wonder and the awe of
nature that can be found if one’s mind is open to their influence. In fact, this connection is so intense he
likens it to a “perennial festival,” which implies that a walk of this kind is very similar to a ritual one might
experience in a church, but, in this case, no building is necessary, for nature, itself, is the place of worship,
the place of ritual. He also takes the reader back to the beginning of the essay by saying that a person
would never tire of this ritual in even a thousand years, which brings us back to how even more intense
the stars in the night sky would be if they only appeared every thousand years. But, in this case, he states
that one would never tire of what is clearly there, what can be clearly touched.
And it is in this state of “perfect exhilaration” that one returns to reason and faith, these words
being essential because, for Emerson and his fellow transcendentalists, the spiritual and the scientific
were never in competition with one another. They generally believed that the world could be understood
through spiritual intuition, but they also accepted scientific doctrine. For some, this might be difficult to
understand— especially since he is about to speak about his very deep, mystical connection with nature in
exceptionally poetic terms— but that poetic outlook is exactly what fuels his direct experience. It may be
poetic, but it is also reasoned through a connection to what is there, to what he sees in terms of what
these natural objects actually are. And with this focused attention on his surroundings, he then writes
about the intensity of his connection to both the natural landscape and God:
There I feel that nothing can befall me in life, — no disgrace, no calamity, (leaving
me my eyes,) which nature cannot repair. Standing on the bare ground, — my
head bathed by the blithe air, and uplifted into infinite space, — all mean
egotism vanishes. I become a transparent eye-ball; I am nothing; I see all; the
currents of the Universal Being circulate through me; I am part or particle of God
(10).
At first glance, Emerson’s words seem to suggest an almost hallucinatory experience, but when one
considers the reverence, the childhood wonder, and the most poetical sense of mind that he has already
introduced us to, one can see the absolute delight and awe he has for such an intense experience, a
moment of experience in which he fully absorbs his surroundings, the intensity of the connection itself
being what instructs and connects him. Indeed, he speaks in mystical terms, in a connection through
which he purely experiences the moment itself as if he is there, but not there, and, in that state, connects
with God. In this perennially festive moment, he lets the self, the “mean egotism” go, and it is as if he
joins, in that moment, the same “infinite space” where one would find the stars and the “city of God,” as
if he has bridged the “intercourse with heaven and earth” (10). To be transparent is to be opaque, as if
you are there but cannot be seen. One might also think of a substance like water which is sheer and
allows light to shine through, as if in those moments the light of everything in the universe, viz., the
“Universal Being,” radiate through him thus allowing him to absorb everything in his surroundings. The
“eye,” the organ through which we see, can also be seen as a pun on the personal pronoun “I,” which
connects this experience to the self, and, as a result, the self, the “I,” is also made transparent and one
then becomes nothing, as if one is no longer there, and then becomes a “part” of God or a minute particle
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of God, both indicating that he has connected and become part of nature and part of God. At the very
least, one sees the absolute intensity by which he finds this connection, one that is bound to reverence, to
wonder, and to a most distinctly poetical sense of mind.
Emerson clarifies one last time the wonder he has for nature by explaining that every time he
sees the “waving of the boughs in the storm,” it “is new to” him “and old,” for it takes him “by surprise,
and yet is not unknown” (10). At first this might seem paradoxical, for how can something one sees often
be both known and surprising? The answer lies in the wonder of the poetical mind open to the influence
of nature. Regardless of the amount of times, he has seen such things and experienced such moments, he
always feels wonder for them (as if each experience is “new”). Finally, he ends by pointing out that nature
itself does not provide the emotional connection. It is the individual who connects in this way—and he
calls this connection a “higher thought” or “better emotion,” both suggesting that one must, again, be
open to such influences. For, after all, one could go for a walk in the woods and feel nothing but
boredom, for it is the mood of the individual that sets the experience. Earlier, he said that nature “never
wears a mean appearance” (10) and then ends with the observation that nature “always wears the color
of the spirit” (10), a claim that clearly states that nature itself does not control our mood—though it can
certainly affect our mood.
Ultimately, Emerson has written about experiencing an intense, mystical-like connection with the
natural world, one that is, in fact, so intense that he has, at times, connected to the “Universal Being.” In
order to explain the depth of this experience, he writes about the reverence and awe one can have for
nature if one’s mind is open to the influence of such things— so much so that he connects the awe one
might have for the brilliant, shining stars in the nighttime sky to the awe one can have for all natural
things in this world down below those stars. To open one’s mind to nature in this way is to see nature
poetically, to see it with a wonder that links one back to a similar wonder and curiosity one had for nature
as a child. He represents the intensity of this awe and wonder by using a metaphor of “becoming a
transparent eyeball” (10), a comparison which offers the perspective that when he experiences this
intense connection, it is so intense he becomes one with both nature and God. Early in the essay, he
refers to the unreachable stars as the “City of God” (10), and later in the essay he refers to nature as
the“plantations of God” (10). By doing so, Emerson expresses his belief that the unreachable God he
reveres so much in those unreachable stars can be experienced in and through the beauty and awe of
nature experienced down here on earth. But, again, one must be open to such possibilities, such
influences.
I underlined the entire conclusion because all of it can be seen as a thesis for what Emerson ultimately
“does” in his essay—as well as “how” he “does” it.
———————————————————————————————————————
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Essay 2: Deductive Analysis Essay — “Seeing” (100 points) Length: 6-7 pages Due Date: Check Canvas
Task: Write an analysis of how Dillard explores a variety of ways for what it means to see, both literally and
figuratively and how she connects and builds from them throughout her essay so that she can explain her
visionary-like experience of seeing the “tree with the lights in it.”
• Very important: Your task is to analyze what Dillard says and how she says it (and how everything is
interrelated)—and not what you think she says or how you feel about what she says. You need to provide a clear
connection between the points and observations she makes in her essay and how it leads to the “tree with the
lights in it.”
• Do not write from the perspective that Dillard is trying to show us how to see or how to better enjoy our lives or be
happy. Dillard is writing about her thoughts and experiences. You are analyzing that so write from that
perspective.
 Audience: Your audience will be familiar with this piece, so you should not retell everything that she writes
about. Instead, focus on those passages that you choose to analyze in order to build and expand your thesis. You
should summarize, paraphrase and quote those passages that will help you to demonstrate the different ways that
Dillard discusses what it means to see. Look for ways to connect those passages so that your reader can see what
your analysis of them equals (thus allowing you to carefully connect everything to come to an overall conclusion
about how Dillard explores what it means to see). You should demonstrate an awareness of what the essay, overall,
is about.
 Essay Structure: (1) Make sure your introduction establishes the nature of what Dillard does in her essay—and
then make sure that your introduction is introducing us to your thesis and the analysis you will be covering in your
body paragraphs. (2) Your thesis should be a specific claim about how Dillard ponders what it means to see and how
those different “ways and meanings” lead to the end of her essay where she experiences a visionary-like moment. (3)
Your body paragraphs should connect your various analyses of the passages you cover (and directly relate to the
claim that you make in your thesis and where you are going in your conclusion). They should also provide your
reader the material needed to understand how you came to your conclusion. (4) Your conclusion should tie together
everything you say in your body paragraphs and tell us, ultimately and conclusively, how Dillard’s various
explorations of “seeing” lead to the “tree with the lights in it” at the end of the essay. Your conclusion should be
specifically connected to your thesis / your thesis should be specifically linked to your conclusion.
 MLA Formatting:
• In your introductory paragraph, refer to the title of the book Pilgrim at Tinker Creek and the author’s full name
(Annie Dillard). Make it clear that “Seeing” is a chapter from that book.
 In “Seeing,” the second chapter from her book Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, Annie Dillard writes about a variety
of different meanings for what it means “to see.”
• For the rest of the essay, use the author’s last name (Dillard). Do not repeat her full name again.
• Once you have mentioned the title, do not mention it again. Do not write “in the essay.” We will know that you
are discussing the essay.
• For in-text citations / quotations, use the page number from the course reader. You do not need to mention the
author’s last name in the citation because once you have introduced us to the title and the author’s name, we
will know that you are only quoting that source because your task is to analyze that essay and that essay only
• Provide a works cited page. Here is the correctly formatted bibliographical citation. Pay attention to the
italicized title of the course reader.
Dillard, Annie. “Seeing.” English 1A Course Reader, edited by Nathan Wirth, Nathan’s Mind, Inc. 2019., pp. 16-22.
 Make sure your sentences are focused and that you take the time to effectively combine sentences using
coordination and subordination.
 Make sure you meaningfully and effectively use coordinators, subordinators, conjunctive adverbs and
transitional expressions to provide, where appropriate, clear transitions between your ideas.
 Make sure you provide meaningful and relevant context for your quotations, paraphrasing, and summaries. Be
sure you also provide (a) relevant explanations of them and (b) specific analysis.
 Do not use “I” or “you.”
 Final Draft: Upload your final draft to Canvas. Check the course schedule for due dates and the upload link.
 Process Letter: You must also include a process letter, in which you write about your writing process for the
essay. Please make this the first page of your document (and it does not count as one of the required pages). You
can find a sample process letter in this course reader.
 Formatting: Check the formatting requirements in this course reader before you upload your essay.
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“Seeing” by Annie Dillard
This is Chapter Two from the book Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, Harper Perennial, 1974)
When I was six or seven years old, growing up in Pittsburgh, I used to take a precious penny of my own
and hide it for someone else to find. It was a curious compulsion; sadly, I’ve never been seized by it since. For some
reason I always “hid” the penny along the same stretch of sidewalk up the street. I would cradle it at the roots of a
sycamore, say, or in a hole left by a chipped-off piece of sidewalk. Then I would take a piece of chalk, and, starting
at either end of the block, draw huge arrows leading up to the penny from both directions. After I learned to write
I labeled the arrows: SURPRISE AHEAD or MONEY THIS WAY. I was greatly excited, during all this arrow-drawing, at
the thought of the first lucky passer-by who would receive in this way, regardless of merit, a free gift from the
universe. But I never lurked about. I would go straight home and not give the matter another thought, until, some
months later, I would be gripped again by the impulse to hide another penny.
It is still the first week in January, and I’ve got great plans. I’ve been thinking about seeing. There are lots
of things to see, unwrapped gifts and free surprises. The world is fairly studded and strewn with pennies cast
broadside from a generous hand. But—and this is the point—who gets excited by a mere penny? If you follow one
arrow, if you crouch motionless on a bank to watch a tremulous ripple thrill on the water and are rewarded by the
sight of a muskrat kid paddling from its den, will you count that sight a chip of copper only, and go your rueful
way? It is dire poverty indeed when a man is so malnourished and fatigued that he won’t stoop to pick up a penny.
But if you cultivate a healthy poverty and simplicity, so that finding a penny will literally make your day, then, since
the world is in fact planted in pennies, you have with your poverty bought a lifetime of days. It is that simple. What
you see is what you get.
I used to be able to see flying insects in the air. I’d look ahead and see, not the row of hemlocks across the
road, but the air in front of it. My eyes would focus along that column of air, picking out flying insects. But I lost
interest, I guess, for I dropped the habit. Now I can see birds. Probably some people can look at the grass at their
feet and discover all the crawling creatures. I would like to know grasses and sedges—and care. Then my least
journey into the world would be a field trip, a series of happy recognitions. Thoreau, in an expansive mood,
exulted, “What a rich book might be made about buds, including, perhaps, sprouts!” It would be nice to think so. I
cherish mental images I have of three perfectly happy people. One collects stones. Another—an Englishman, say—
watches clouds. The third lives on a coast and collects drops of seawater which he examines microscopically and
mounts. But I don’t see what the specialist sees, and so I cut myself off, not only from the total picture, but from
the various forms of happiness. Unfortunately, nature is very much a now-you-see-it, now-you-don’t affair. A fish
flashes, then dissolves in the water before my eyes like so much salt. Deer apparently ascend bodily into heaven;
the brightest oriole fades into leaves. These disappearances stun me into stillness and concentration; they say of
nature that it conceals with a grand nonchalance, and they say of vision that it is a deliberate gift, the revelation of
a dancer who for my eyes only flings away her seven veils. For nature does reveal as well as conceal: now-youdon’t-
see-it, now-you-do. For a week last September migrating red-winged blackbirds were feeding heavily down
by the creek at the back of the house. One day I went out to investigate the racket; I walked up to a tree, an Osage
orange, and a hundred birds flew away. They simply materialized out of the tree. I saw a tree, then a whisk of
color, then a tree again. I walked closer and another hundred blackbirds took flight. Not a branch, not a twig
budged: the birds were apparently weightless as well as invisible. Or, it was as if the leaves of the Osage orange
had been freed from a spell in the form of redwinged blackbirds; they flew from the tree, caught my eye in the sky,
and vanished. When I looked again at the tree, the leaves had reassembled as if nothing had happened. Finally I
walked directly to the trunk of the tree and a finally hundred, the real diehards, appeared, spread, and vanished.
How could so many hide in the tree without my seeing them? The Osage orange, unruffled, looked just as it had
looked from the house, when three hundred red-winged blackbirds cried from its crown. I looked downstream
where they flew, and they were gone. Searching, I couldn’t spot one. I wandered downstream to force them to
play their hand, but they’d crossed the creek and scattered. One show to a customer. These appearances catch at
my throat; they are the free gifts, the bright coppers at the roots of trees.
It’s all a matter of keeping my eyes open. Nature is like one of those line drawings of a tree that are
puzzles for children: Can you find hidden in the leaves a duck, a house, a boy, a bucket, a zebra, and a boot?
Specialists can find the most incredibly well-hidden things. A book I read when I was young recommended an easy
way to find caterpillars to rear: you simply find some fresh caterpillar droppings, look up, and there’s your
caterpillar. More recently an author advised me to set my mind at ease about those piles of cut stems on the
ground in grassy fields. Field mice make them; they cut the grass down by degrees to reach the seeds at the head.
It seems that when the grass is tightly packed, as in a field of ripe grain, the blade won’t topple at a single cut
through the stem; instead, the cut stem simply drops vertically, held in the crush of grain. The mouse severs the
bottom again and again, the stem keeps dropping an inch at a time, and finally the head is low enough for the
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mouse to reach the seeds. Meanwhile, the mouse is positively littering the field with its little piles of cut stems into
which, presumably, the author of the book is constantly stumbling.
If I can’t see these minutiae, I still try to keep my eyes open. I’m always on the lookout for antlion traps in
sandy soil, monarch pupae near milkweed, skipper larvae in locust leaves. These things are utterly common, and
I’ve not seen one. I bang on hollow trees near water, but so far no flying squirrels have appeared. In flat country I
watch every sunset in hopes of seeing the green ray. The green ray is a seldom-seen streak of light that rises from
the sun like a spurting fountain at the moment of sunset; it throbs into the sky for two seconds and disappears.
One more reason to keep my eyes open. A photography professor at the University of Florida just happened to see
a bird die in midnight; it jerked, died, dropped, and smashed on the ground. I squint at the wind because I read
Stewart Edward White: “I have always maintained that if you looked closely enough you could see the wind—the
dim, hardly-made-out, fine debris fleeing high in the air.” White was an excellent observer, and devoted an entire
chapter of The Mountains to the subject of seeing deer: “As soon as you can forget the naturally obvious and
construct an artificial obvious, then you too will see deer.”
But the artificial obvious is hard to see. My eyes account for less than one percent of the weight of my
head; I’m bony and dense; I see what I expect. I once spent a full three minutes looking at a bullfrog that was so
unexpectedly large I couldn’t see it even though a dozen enthusiastic campers were shouting directions. Finally I
asked, “What color am I looking for?” and a fellow said, “Green.” When at last I picked out the frog, I saw what
painters are up against: the thing wasn’t green at all, but the color of wet hickory bark.
The lover can see, and the knowledgeable. I visited an aunt and uncle at a quarter-horse race in Cody,
Wyoming. I couldn’t do much of anything useful, but I could, I thought, draw. So, as we all sat around the kitchen
table after supper, I produced a sheet of paper and drew a horse. “That’s one lame horse,” my aunt volunteered.
The rest of my family joined in: “Only place to saddle that one is his neck”; “Looks like we better shoot the poor
thing, on account of those terrible growths.” Meekly, I slid the pencil and paper down the table. Everyone in that
family, including my three young cousins, could draw a horse. Beautifully. When the paper came back it looked as
though five shining, real quarter horses had been corralled by mistake with a papier-mâché moose; the real horses
seemed to gaze at the monster with a steady, puzzled air. I stay away from horses now, but I can do a creditable
goldfish. The point is that I just don’t know what the lover knows; I just can’t see the artificial obvious that those in
the know construct. The herpetologist asks the native, “Are there snakes in that ravine?” “Nosir.” And the
herpetologist comes home with, yessir, three bags full. Are there butterflies on that mountain? Are the bluets in
bloom, are there arrowheads here, or fossil shells in the shale?
Peeping through my keyhole I see within the range of only about thirty percent of the light that comes
from the sun; the rest is infrared and some little ultraviolet, perfectly apparent to many animals, but invisible to
me. A nightmare network of ganglia, charged and firing without my knowledge, cuts and splices what I do see,
editing it for my brain. Donald E. Carr points out that the sense impressions of one-celled animals are not edited
for the brain: “This is philosophically interesting in a rather mournful way, since it means that only the simplest
animals perceive the universe as it is.”
A fog that won’t burn away drifts and flows across my field of vision. When you see fog move against a
backdrop of deep pines, you don’t see the fog itself, but streaks of clearness floating across the air in dark shreds.
So I see only tatters of clearness through a pervading obscurity. I can’t distinguish the fog from the overcast sky; I
can’t be sure if the light is direct or reflected. Everywhere darkness and the presence of the unseen appalls. We
estimate now that only one atom dances alone in every cubic meter of intergalactic space. I blink and squint. What
planet or power yanks Halley’s Comet out of orbit? We haven’t seen that force yet; it’s a question of distance,
density, and the pallor of reflected light. We rock, cradled in the swaddling band of darkness. Even the simple
darkness of night whispers suggestions to the mind. Last summer, in August, I stayed at the creek too late.
Where Tinker Creek flows under the sycamore log bridge to the tear-shaped island, it is slow and shallow,
fringed thinly in cattail marsh. At this spot an astonishing bloom of life supports vast breeding populations of
insects, fish, reptiles, birds, and mammals. On windless summer evenings, I stalk along the creek bank or straddle
the sycamore log in absolute stillness, watching for muskrats. The night I stayed too late I was hunched on the fog
staring spellbound at spreading, reflecting stains of lilac on the water. A cloud in the sky suddenly lighted as if
turned on by a switch; its reflection just as suddenly materialized on the water upstream, flat and floating, so that
I couldn’t see the creek bottom, or life in the water under the cloud. Downstream, away from the cloud on the
water, water turtles as smooth as beans were gliding down with the current in a series of easy, weightless pushoffs,
as men bound on the moon. I didn’t know whether to trace the progress of one turtle I was sure of, risking
sticking my face in one of the bridge’s spider webs made invisible by the gathering dark, or take a chance on seeing
the carp, or scan the mudbank in hope of seeing a muskrat, or follow the last of the swallows who caught at my
heart and trailed after them like streamers as they appeared from directly below, under the log, flying upstream
with their tails forked, so fast.
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But shadows spread, and deepened, and stayed. After thousands of years we’re still strangers to
darkness, fearful aliens in an enemy camp with our arms crossed over our chests. I stirred. A land turtle on the
bank, startled, hissed the air from its lungs and withdrew into its shell. An uneasy pink here, and unfathomable
blue there, gave great suggestion of lurking beings. Things were going on. I couldn’t see whether that sere rustle I
heard was a distant rattlesnake, slit-eyed, or a nearby sparrow kicking in the dry flood debris slung at the foot of a
willow. Tremendous action roiled the water everywhere I looked, big action, inexplicable. A tremor welled up
beside a gaping muskrat burrow in the bank and I caught my breath, but no muskrat appeared. The ripples
continued to fan upstream with a steady, powerful thrust. Night was knitting over my face an eyeless mask, and I
still sat transfixed. A distant airplane, a delta wing out of a nightmare, made a gliding shadow on the creek’s
bottom that looked like a stingray cruising upstream. At once a black fin slit the pink cloud on the water, shearing it
in two. The two halves merged together and seemed to dissolve before my eyes. Darkness pooled in the cleft of
the creek and rose, as water collects in a well. Untamed, dreaming lights flickered over the sky. I saw hints of
hulking and underwater shadows, two pale splashes out of the water, and round ripples rolling close together from
a blackened center.
At last I stared upstream where only the deepest violet remained of the cloud, a cloud so high its
underbelly still glowed feeble color reflected from a hidden sky lighted in turn by a sun halfway to China. And out
of that violet, a sudden enormous black body arced over the water. I saw only a cylindrical sleekness. Head and
tail, if there was a head and tail, were both submerged in cloud I saw only one ebony fling, a headlong dive to
darkness; then the waters closed, and the lights went out.
I walked home in a shivering daze, up hill and down. Later I lay open-mouthed in bed, my arms flung wide
at my sides to steady the whirling darkness. At this latitude I’m spinning 836 miles an hour round the earth’s axis; I
often fancy I feel my sweeping fall as a breakneck arc like the dive of dolphins, and the hollow rushing of wind
raises hair on my neck and the side of my face. In orbit around the sun I’m moving 64,800 miles an hour. The solar
system as a whole, like a merry-go-round unhinged, spins, bobs, and blinks at the speed of 43,200 miles an hour
along a course set east of Hercules. Someone has piped, and we are dancing a tarantella until the sweat pours. I
open my eyes and I see dark, muscled forms curl out of the water, with flapping gills and flattened eyes. I close my
eyes and I see stars, deep stars giving way to deeper stars, deeper stars bowing to deepest stars at the crown of an
infinite cone.
“Still,” wrote van Gogh in a letter, “a great deal of light falls on everything.” If we are blinded by darkness,
we are also blinded by light. When too much light falls on everything, a special terror results. Peter Freuchen
describes the notorious kayak sickness to which Greenland Eskimos are prone. “The Greenland fjords are peculiar
for the spells of completely quiet weather, when there is not enough wind to blow out a match and the water is
like a sheet of glass. The kayak hunter must sit in his boat without stirring a finger so as not to scare the shy seals
away… The sun, low in the sky, sends a glare into his eyes, and the landscape around moves into the realm of the
unreal. The reflex from the mirror-like water hypnotizes him, he seems to be unable to move, and all of a sudden it
is as if he were floating in a bottomless void, sinking, sinking, and sinking… Horror-stricken, he tries to stir, to cry
out, but he cannot, he is completely paralyzed, he just falls and falls.” Some hunters are especially cursed with this
panic, and bring ruin and sometimes starvation to their families.
Sometimes here in Virginia at sunset low clouds on the southern or northern horizon are completely
invisible in the lighted sky. I only know one is there because I can see its reflection in still water. The first time I
discovered this mystery I looked from cloud to no-cloud in bewilderment, checking my bearings over and over,
thinking maybe the ark of the covenant was just passing by south of Dead Man Mountain. Only much later did I
read the explanation: polarized light from the sky is very much weakened by perfection, but the light in clouds isn’t
polarized. So invisible clouds pass among visible clouds, till all slide over the mountains; so a greater light
extinguishes a lesser as though it didn’t exist.
In the great meteor shower of August, the Perseid, I wail all day for the shooting stars I miss. They’re out
there showering down, committing hara-kiri in a flame of fatal attraction, and hissing perhaps at last into the
ocean. But at dawn what looks like a blue dome clamps down over me like a lid on a pot. The stars and planets
could smash down and I’d never know. Only a piece of ashen moon occasionally climbs up or down the inside of
the dome, and our local star without surcease explodes on our heads. We have really only that one light, one
source for all power, and yet we must turn away from it by universal decree. Nobody here on the planet seems
aware of this strange, powerful taboo, that we all walk about carefully averting our faces, this way and that, lest
our eyes be blasted forever.
Darkness appalls and light dazzles; the scrap of visible light that doesn’t hurt my eyes hurts my brain.
What I see sets me swaying. Size and distance and the sudden swelling of meanings confuse me, bowl me over. I
straddle the sycamore log bridge over Tinker Creek in the summer. I look at the lighted creek bottom: snail tracks
tunnel the mud in quavering curves. A crayfish jerks, but by the time I absorb what has happened, he’s gone in a
billowing smokescreen of silt. I look at the water: minnows and shiners. If I’m thinking minnows, a carp will fill my
brain till I scream. I look at the water’s surface: skaters, bubbles, and leaves sliding down. Suddenly, my own face,
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reflected, startles me witless. Those snails have been tracking my face! Finally, with a shuddering wrench of the
will, I see clouds, cirrus clouds. I’m dizzy, I fall in. This looking business is risky.
Once I stood on a humped rock on nearby Purgatory Mountain, watching through binoculars the great
autumn hawk migration below, until I discovered that I was in danger of joining the hawks on a vertical migration
of my own. I was used to binoculars, but not, apparently, to balancing on humped rocks while looking through
them. I staggered. Everything advanced and receded by turns; the world was full of unexplained foreshortenings
and depths. A distant huge tan object, a hawk the size of an elephant, turned out to be the browned bough of a
nearby loblolly pine. I followed a sharp-shinned hawk against a featureless sky, rotating my head unawares as it
flew, and when I lowered the glass a glimpse of my own looming shoulder sent me staggering. What prevents men
on Palomar from falling, voiceless and blinded, from their tiny, vaulted chairs?
I reel in confusion; I don’t understand what I see. With the naked eye I can see two million light-years to
the Andromeda galaxy. Often I slop some creek water in a jar and when I get home I dump it in a white china bowl.
After the silt settles I return and see tracings of minute snails on the bottom, a planarian or two winding round the
rum of water, roundworms shimmying frantically, and finally, when my eyes have adjusted to these dimensions,
amoebae. At first the amoebae look like muscae volitantes, those curved moving spots you seem to see in your
eyes when you stare at a distant wall. Then I see the amoebae as drops of water congealed, bluish, translucent,
like chips of sky in the bowl. At length I choose one individual and give myself over to its idea of an evening. I see it
dribble a grainy foot before it on its wet, unfathomable way. Do its unedited sense impressions include the fierce
focus of my eyes? Shall I take it outside and show it Andromeda, and blow its little endoplasm? I stir the water with
a finger, in case it’s running out of oxygen. Maybe I should get a tropical aquarium with motorized bubblers and
lights, and keep this one for a pet. Yes, it would tell its fissioned descendants, the universe is two feet by five, and
if you listen closely you can head the buzzing music of the spheres.
Oh, it’s mysterious lamplit evenings, here in the galaxy, one after the other. It’s one of those nights when I
wander from window to window, looking for a sign. But I can’t see. Terror and a beauty insoluble are a ribband of
blue woven into the fringes of garments of things both great and small. No culture explains, no bivouac offers real
haven or rest. But it could be that we are not seeing something. Galileo thought comets were an optical illusion.
This is fertile ground: since we are certain that they’re not, we can look at what our scientists have been saying
with fresh hope. What if there are really gleaming, castellated cities hung upside-down over the desert sand?
What limpid lakes and cool date palms have our caravans always passed untried? Until, one by one, by the blindest
of leaps, we light on the road to these places, we must stumble in darkness and hunger. I turn from the window
I’m blind as a bat, sensing only from every direction the echo of my own thin cries.
I chanced on a wonderful book by Marius von Senden, called Space and Sight. When Western surgeons
discovered how to perform safe cataract operations, they ranged across Europe and America operating on dozens
of men and women of all ages who had been blinded by cataracts since birth. Von Senden collected accounts of
such cases; the histories are fascinating. Many doctors had tested their patients’ sense perceptions and ideas of
space both before and after the operations. The vast majority of patients, of both sexes and all ages, had, in von
Senden’s opinion, no idea of space whatsoever. Form, distance, and size were so many meaningless syllables. A
patient “had no idea of depth, confusing it with roundness.” Before the operation a doctor would give a blind
patient a cube and a sphere; the patient would tongue it or feel it with his hands, and name it correctly. After the
operation the doctor would show the same objects to the patient without letting him touch them; now he had no
clue whatsoever what he was seeing. One patient called lemonade “square” because it pricked on his tongue as a
square shape pricked on the touch of his hands. Of another postoperative patient, the doctor writes, “I have found
in her no notion of size, for example, not even within the narrow limits which she might have encompassed with
the aid of touch. Thus when I asked her to show me how big her mother was, she did not stretch out her hands,
but set her two index-fingers a few inches apart.” Other doctors reported their patients’ own statements to similar
effect. “The room he was in… he knew to be but part of the house, yet he could not conceive that the whole house
could look bigger”; “Those who are blind from birth… have no real conception of height or distance. A house that is
a mile away is thought of as nearby, but requiring the taking of a lot of steps… The elevator that whizzes him up
and down gives no more sense of vertical distance than does the train of horizontal.”
For the newly sighted, vision is pure sensation unencumbered by meaning: “The girl went through the
experience that we all go through and forget, the moment we are born. She saw, but it did not mean anything but
a lot of different kinds of brightness.” Again, “I asked the patient what he could see; he answered that he saw an
extensive field of light, in which everything appeared dull, confused, and in motion. He could not distinguish
objects.” Another patient saw “nothing but a confusion of forms and colors.” When a newly sighted girl saw
photographs and paintings, she asked, “’Why do they put those dark marks all over them?’ ‘Those aren’t dark
marks,’ her mother explained, ‘those have shape. If it were not for shadows many things would look flat.’ ‘Well,
that’s how things do look,’ Joan answered. ‘Everything looks flat with dark patches.’”
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But it is the patients’ concepts of space that are most revealing. One patient, according to his doctor,
“practiced his vision in a strange fashion; thus he takes off one of his boots, throws it some way off in front of him,
and then attempts to gauge the distance at which it lies; he takes a few steps towards the boot and tries to grasp
it; on failing to reach it, he moves on a step or two and gropes for the boot until he finally gets a hold of it.” “But
even at this stage, after three weeks’ experience of seeing,” von Senden goes on, “’space,’ as he conceives it, ends
with visual space, i.e. with color-patches that happen to bound his view. He does not yet have the notion that a
larger object (a chair) can mask a smaller one (a dog), or that the latter can still be present even though it is not
directly seen.”
In general the newly sighted see the world as a dazzle of color-patches. They are pleased by the sensation
of color, and learn quickly to name the colors, but the rest of seeing is tormentingly difficult. Soon after his
operation a patient “generally bumps into one of these color-patches and observes them to be substantial, since
they resist him as tactual objects do. In walking about it also strikes him—or can if he pays attention—that he is
continually passing in between the colors he sees, that he can go past a visual object, that a part of it then steadily
disappears from view; and that in spite of this, however he twists and turns—whether entering the room from the
door, for example, or returning back to it—he always has a visual space in front of him. Thus he gradually comes to
realize there is also a space behind him, which he does not see.”
The mental effort involved in these reasoning’s proves overwhelming for many patients. It oppresses
them to realize, if they ever do at all, the tremendous size of the world, which they had previously conceived of as
something touchingly manageable. It oppresses them to realize that they have been visible to people all along,
perhaps unattractively so, without their knowledge or consent. A disheartening number of them refuse to use their
new vision, continuing to go over objects with their tongues, and lapsing into apathy and despair. “The child can
see, but will not make use of his sight. Only when pressed can he with difficulty be brought to look at objects in
his neighborhood; but more than a foot away it is impossible to bestir him to the necessary effort.” Of a twentyone-
year-old girl, the doctor relates, “Her unfortunate father, who had hoped for so much from this operation,
wrote that his daughter carefully shuts her eyes whenever she wishes to go about the house, especially when she
comes to a staircase, and that she is never happier or more at ease than when, by closing her eyelids, she relapses
into her former state of total blindness.” A fifteen-year-old boy, who was also in love with a girl at the asylum for
the blind, finally blurted out, “No, really, I can’t stand it any more; I want to be sent back to the asylum again. If
things aren’t altered, I’ll tear my eyes out.”
Some do learn to see, especially the young ones. But it changes their lives. One doctor comments on “the
rapid and complete loss of that striking and wonderful serenity which is characteristic only of those who have
never yet seen.” A blind man who learns to see is ashamed of his old habits. He dresses up, grooms himself, and
tries to make a good impression. While he was blind, he was indifferent to objects unless they were edible; now, “a
sifting of values sets in… his thoughts and wishes are mightily stirred and some few of the patients are thereby led
into dissimulation, envy, theft and fraud.”
On the other hand, many newly sighted people speak well of the world, and teach us how dull is our own
vision. To one patient, a human hand, unrecognized, is “something bright and then holes.” Shown a bunch of
grapes, a boy calls out, “it is dark, blue and shiny… It isn’t smooth, it has bumps and hollows.” A little girl visits a
garden. “She is greatly astonished, and can scarcely be persuaded to answer, stands speechless in front of the tree,
which she only names on taking hold of it, and then as ‘the tree with the lights in it.’” Some delight in their sight
and give themselves over to the visual world. Of a patient just after her bandages were removed, her doctor
writes, “The first things to attract her attention were her own hands; she looked at them very closely, moved them
repeatedly to and fro, bent and stretched the fingers, and seemed greatly astonished at the sight.” One girl was
eager to tell her blind friend that “Men do not really look like trees at all,” and astounded to discover that her
every visitor had an utterly different face. Finally, a twenty-two-old girl was dazzled by the world’s brightness and
kept her eyes shut for two weeks. When at the end of that time she opened her eyes again, she did not recognize
the objects, but, “the more she now directed her gaze upon everything about her, the more it could be seen how
an expression of gratification and astonishment overspread her features; she repeatedly exclaimed: ‘Oh God! How
beautiful!’”
I saw color-patches for weeks after I read this wonderful book. It was summer; the peaches were ripe in
the valley orchards. When I woke in the morning, color-patches wrapped round my eyes, intricately, leaving not
one unfilled spot. All day long I walked among shifting color-patches that parted before me like the Red Sea and
closed again in silence, transfigured, wherever I looked back. Some patches swelled and loomed, while others
vanished utterly, and dark marks flitted at random over the whole dazzling sweep. But I couldn’t sustain the
illusion of flatness. I’ve been around for too long. Form is condemned to an eternal danse macabre with meaning: I
couldn’t unpeach the peaches. Now can I remember ever having seen without understanding; the color patches of
infancy are lost. My brain then must have been smooth as any balloon. I’m told I reached for the moon; many
babies do. But the color-patches of infancy swelled as meaning filled them; they arrayed themselves in solemn
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ranks down distance which unrolled and stretched before me like a plain. The moon rocketed away. I live now in a
world of shadows that take shape and distance color, a world where space makes a kind of terrible sense. What
Gnosticism is this, and what physics? The fluttering patch I saw in my nursery window—silver and green and
shapeshifting blue—is gone; a row of Lombardy poplars takes its place, mute, across the distant lawn. That
humming oblong creature pale as light that stole along the walls of my room at night, stretching exhilaratingly
around the corners, is gone, too, gone the night I ate of the bittersweet fruit, put two and two together and
puckered forever my brain. Martin Buber tells this tale: “Rabbi Mendel once boasted to his teacher Rabbi
Elimelekh that evenings he saw the angel who rolls away the light before the darkness, and mornings the angel
who rolls away the darkness before the light. ‘Yes,’ said Rabbie Elimelekh, ‘in my youth I saw that too. Later on you
don’t see these things any more.’”
Why didn’t someone hand those newly sighted people paints and brushes from the start, when they still
didn’t know what anything was? Then maybe we all could see color-patches too, the world unraveled from reason,
Eden before Adam gave names. The scales would drop from my eyes; I’d see trees like men walking; I’d run down
the road against all orders, hallooing and leaping.
Seeing is of course very much a matter of verbalization. Unless I call my attention to what passes before
my eyes, I simple won’t see it. It is, as Ruskin says, “not merely unnoticed, but in the full, clear sense of the word,
unseen.” My eyes alone can’t solve analogy tests using figures, the ones which show, with increasing elaborations,
a big square, then a small square in a big square, then a big triangle, and expect me to find a small triangle in a big
triangle. I have to say the words, describe what I’m seeing. If Tinker Mountain erupted, I’d be likely to notice. But if
I want to notice the lesser cataclysms of valley life, I have to maintain in my head a running description of the
present. It’s not that I’m observant; it’s just that I talk too much. Otherwise, especially in a strange place, I’ll never
know what’s happening. Like a blind man at the ball game, I need a radio.
When I see this way I analyze and pry. I hurl over logs and roll away stones; I study the bank a square foot
at a time, probing and tilting my head. Some days when a mist covers the mountains, when the muskrats won’t
show and the microscope’s mirror shatters, I want to climb up the blank blue dome as a man would storm the
inside of a circus tent, wildly, dangling, and with a steel knife claw a rent in the top, peep, and, if I must, fall.
But there is another kind of seeing that involves a letting go. When I see this way I sway transfixed and
emptied. The difference between the two ways of seeing is the difference between walking with and without a
camera. When I walk with a camera I walk from shot to shot, reading the light on a calibrated meter. When I walk
without a camera, my own shutter opens, and the moment’s light prints on my own silver gut. When I see this
second way, I am above all an unscrupulous observer.
It was sunny one evening last summer at Tinker Creek; the sun was low in the sky, upstream. I was sitting
on the sycamore log bridge with the sunset at my back, watching the shiners the size of minnows who were
feeding over the muddy sand in skittery schools. Again and again, one fish, then another, turned for a split second
across the current and flash! The sun shot out from its silver side. I couldn’t watch for it. It was always just
happening somewhere else, and it drew my vision just as it disappeared: flash, like a sudden dazzle of the thinnest
blade, a sparking over a dun and olive ground at chance intervals from every direction. Then I noticed white
specks, some sort of pale petals, small, floating from under my feet on the creek’s surface, very slow and steady.
So I blurred my eyes and gazed towards the brim of my hat and saw a new world. I saw the pale white circles roll
up, roll up, like the world’s tuning, mute and perfect, and I saw the linear flashes, gleaming silver, like stars being
born at random down a rolling scroll of time. Something broke and something opened. I filled up like a new
wineskin. I breathed an air like light; I saw a light like water. I was the lip of a fountain the creek filled forever; I was
ether, the leaf in the zephyr; I was flesh-flake, feather, bone.
When I see this way I see truly. As Thoreau says, I return to my senses. I am the man who watches the
baseball game in silence in an empty stadium. I see the game purely; I’m abstracted and dazed. When it’s all over
and the white-suited players lope off the green field to their shadowed dugouts, I leap to my feet; I cheer and
cheer.
But I can’t go out and try to see this way. I’ll fail, I’ll go mad. All I can do is try to gag the commentator, to
hush the noise of useless interior babble that keeps me from seeing just as surely as a newspaper dangled before
my eyes. The effort is really a discipline requiring a lifetime of dedicated struggle; it makes the literature of saints
and monks of every order East and West, under every rule and no rule, discalced and shod. The world’s spiritual
geniuses seem to discover universally that the mind’s muddy river, this ceaseless flow of trivia and trash, cannot be
dammed, and that trying to dam it is a waste of effort that might lead to madness. Instead you must allow the
muddy river to flow unheeded in the dim channels of consciousness; you raise your sights; you look along it,
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mildly, acknowledging its presence without interest and gazing beyond it into the realm of the real where subjects
and objects act and rest purely, without utterance. “Launch into the deep,” says Jacques Ellul, “and you shall see.”
The secret of seeing is, then, the pearl of great price. If I thought he could teach me to find it and keep it
forever I would stagger barefoot across a hundred deserts after any lunatic at all. But although the pearl may be
found, it may not be sought. The literature of illumination reveals this above all: although it comes to those who
wait for it, it is always, even to the most practiced and adept, a gift and a total surprise. I return from one walk
knowing where the killdeer nests in the field by the creek and the hour the laurel blooms. I return from the same
walk a day later scarcely knowing my own name. Litanies hum in my ears; my tongue flaps in my mouth Ailinon,
alleluia! I cannot cause light; the most I can do is try to put myself in the path of its beam. It is possible, in deep
space, to sail on solar wind. Light, be it particle or wave, has force: you rig a giant sail and go. The secret of seeing
is to sail on solar wind. Hone and spread your spirit till you yourself are a sail, whetted, translucent, broadside to
the merest puff.
When her doctor took her bandages off and led her into the garden, the girl who was no longer blind saw
“the tree with the lights in it.” It was for this tree I searched through the peach orchards of summer, in the forests
of fall and down winter and spring for years. Then one day I was walking along Tinker Creek thinking of nothing at
all and I saw the tree with the lights in it. I saw the backyard cedar where the mourning doves roost charged and
transfigured, each cell buzzing with flame. I stood on the grass with the lights in it, grass that was wholly fire,
utterly focused and utterly dreamed. It was less like seeing than like being for the first time seen, knocked
breathless by a powerful glance. The flood of fire abated, but I’m still spending the power. Gradually the lights
went out in the cedar, the colors died, the cells unflamed and disappeared. I was still ringing. I had been my whole
life a bell, and never knew it until at that moment I was lifted and struck. I have since only very rarely seen the tree
with the lights in it. The vision comes and goes, mostly goes, but I live for it, for the moment when the mountains
open and a new light roars in spate through the crack, and the mountains slam.
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An Outline of the Essential Key Points of Dillard’s Essay
I. Story about Hiding the Penny
A. The value of encountering the surprise
B. The arrows and words that lead one to the surprise
II. She equates the value of the surprise of finding a penny to the value of encountering the quick
glimpses of the things she encounters in nature
A. The value of encountering these quick glimpses is not a monetary / material value
B. These quick glimpses are very much a “now-you-see-it, now-you-don’t” experience
C. Nature reveals and conceals
1. Example of the blackbirds suddenly flying out of the Osage Orange tree
D. Knowledge improves your chances of seeing these things that are often hidden (you have a
better chance of finding where they are hidden if you have knowledge)
E. Natural Obvious
1. How you biologically and neurologically see (the literal sense of “seeing”)
F. Artificial Obvious
1. All the ways we see that lie beyond the biological and neurological (the figurative
sense of “seeing”)
G. Misty fog covers the pines (example of conceal / reveal) leads to next section about how
darkness light conceals
1. We edit what we see (in other words, we do not look at everything so that we can
focus on specific things)
III. She stays too late at Tinker Creek (a section that looks at our vision being blinded, obscured,
lessened, tricked)
A. Fading light as twilight transitions into dark
B. Seeing in the dark (even though she cannot “see,” her eyes are still processing)
C. Too much light blinds / heavy glare confuses
D. How our vision can be confused
1. binoculars / observatory
E. Do we really see what we see (in other words, is our knowledge of “what things are” and “how
they are what they are” accurate?)
IV. She writes about formerly blind people who struggle with learning how to see?
A. They cannot, at first, discern shapes, space, distance, depth, etc.
1. They had not learned how to as we have—so they must learn to see
B. In general, they see the world in “color patches”
C. She is particularly fascinated by the image of the “tree with the lights in it” (important later in
the essay)
V. She, imaginatively speaking, sees color patches (in other words, she is trying to see in the way those
who had not yet learned how to see are seeing).
A. But you cannot undo how you have learned to see (you cannot “unpeach a peach’).
VI. Seeing is a matter of verbalization
A. In other words, seeing, which is bound to experience and knowledge, is bound to language.
B. When we see, we use language.
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VII. She suggests there is another kind of seeing, one in which we attempt to “let go” of being bound to
verbalization.
A. She offers the example of seeing with a camera vs. seeing without a camera
VIII. She describes seeing the minutiae at Tinker Creek as if she becomes these things.
A. An example of “letting go”
B. An attempt to see in a way that is not bound to knowledge and experience
C. She claims this is seeing more truly
1. It is “more true” because it is not as edited and not as bound to how we have learned
to understand the things we see
IX. One cannot sustain this for very long because we provide ourselves a never-ending dialog in our head
that “narrates” everything we see (constant verbalization of what we perceive and see and know and
ponder, etc.)
A. We, again, cannot cause things we wish to see to appear
1. Conceal / Reveal – Now you see it, now you don’t
2. The secret of “seeing” gives great reward (associated with insight / spiritual
illumination) but it also cannot be demanded and called for – you encounter it when you
encounter it)
B. She associates light with spiritual illumination (deep understanding – a kind of understanding
that lies beyond “reason,” a moment of insight (deeper understanding)  totally related to
“artificial obvious”
C. We cannot call for the light / illumination to appear; all we can do is place ourselves in its path
when it is there.
1. See the “arrows” that lead to the “pennies” when they are there.
2. Ride the solar wind (the continual flowing of particles from the sun that permeate
the entire solar system).
X. She ends by describing a “vison-like” moment that is manifested by her finally seeing “the tree with
the lights on it”
A. Vision = an experience that appears visibly to the mind, but it is not present
B. She wanted to see it / had looked for it
C. When she encountered it, she was not thinking about it
D. What she describes lies outside of “reason,” outside of the natural obvious (she had never
seen it before)
E. But she was aware of it / open to its possibility
F. It was a now you see it, now you don’t moment
G. It was a “precious penny” / it was a different kind of seeing
H. She compares herself to a bell that has finally been rung
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Sample Paragraphs for Writing about Annie Dillard’s “Seeing”
Note: This would not be an introduction— more likely the first two body paragraphs of an essay
Dillard begins her exploration of seeing by offering a story from her childhood, when she used to
hide pennies, among other places, in the nooks and crannies of the street and a sycamore tree. To ensure
that people would find the pennies, she drew arrows and labels with chalk in order to lead people to the
hidden pennies that she quite clearly saw as treasures. However, she never waited around to witness
anyone encountering them. Dillard’s retelling of this story illustrates how enamored she still is with the
joy of leading someone to discover the unexpected little surprises she left behind, her fascination focused
on the pleasure and value of encountering the unexpected. After all, she never waited around to witness
the person happening upon the penny, such a stance implying a very different kind of seeing because it
takes the experience of witnessing something with one’s eyes and infuses it with the excited feeling one
has when one encounters the unexpected (even if that something has an arrow pointing to it). After all,
many would pass by the seemingly-obvious, chalk-drawn arrows and labels without noticing them, in part,
because one might just not care about such things or be far too preoccupied with other concerns and
thoughts. Dillard’s story not only illustrates her own passion for encountering such moments but also
recognizes how easily such things pass by us unnoticed— even the more obvious and common ones. For,
as she explains, nature is “very much a now-you-see-it, now-you-don’t affair,” adding later that it is also a
“now-you-don’t-see-it, now-you-do” experience (18, 19). Indeed, for Dillard the surprise of the
experience of seeing such “pennies”— whether they be a flash of a bird or a splash of a muskrat or a
fish— is equally important to the actual experience of witnessing them—especially since they pass us by
so quickly: there in a flash and gone in a flash. Her story reminds one that while finding a penny or
witnessing fleeting, quick moments in nature may not be so valuable in monetary and material terms, one
can find riches in the experiences of encountering such things. All in all, such experiences are very much a
matter of how one sees— literally in the sense that our eyes witness them when we encounter them and
fail to see them when they pass us by— but also figuratively in the sense of the meanings and
interpretations that we bring to them as well as how we remember them, recreate them, describe them.
Dillard represents this value of encountering such moments by describing the experience of
seeing an Osage orange tree that, at first, appeared simply as all trees do— as a large trunk with branches
and leaves— but suddenly and unexpectedly hundreds of blackbirds take off into flight. At first, she
explains the wonder she feels for witnessing such a sight, but soon she processes her description of what
she literally saw with her eyes and reimagines it in far more poetic terms:
Not a branch, not a twig budged: the birds were apparently weightless as well as
invisible. Or, it was as if the leaves of the Osage orange had been freed from a spell in
the form of redwinged blackbirds; they flew from the tree, caught my eye in the sky,
and vanished. When I looked again at the tree, the leaves had reassembled as if
nothing had happened (19).
She recreates, even reimagines, the experience of beholding such a sight through a creative expression of
the tree’s leaves seemingly casting off some magical spell that transforms the leaves into birds, the tree
then magically reassembling itself. Dillard’s shift from the actual to an other further illustrates how seeing
is both literal— in the sense that the tree and seeing the birds take flight from it is what it is, and
figurative, by the way she richly and poetically describes the experience, transforming it into a metaphor
through which she compares the tree and the birds taking flight to something it is not, a tree whose
leaves are freed as if part of some magical spell. Her comparison adds a sense of wonder to her
experience, a sense of awe, a sense of mystery, and even a sense of reverence. Such metaphors are key
to how Dillard explores, throughout the entire chapter, what it means to see. On the one hand, she
recognizes the possibilities and limitations of our eyes’ ability to visually take in what we encounter, but,
on the other, she explores what it means to observe, witness, perceive, interpret, remember, create,
recreate, and imagine— all verbs that find their root experience in how we understand and process what
our eyes visualize, each of these verbs having to do with understanding and realizing and elaborating on
what we simply see with our eyes.
For Dillard, seeing more clearly and fully is inextricably bound to knowledge and language …
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Essay 3: Personal Essay — “Allegiance to Gratitude” (50 pts.) Length: 4-6 pgs. Due Date: Check Canvas
In “Allegiance to Gratitude,” Robin Wall Kimmerer introduces the Thanksgiving Address used by indigenous people to
give thanks to the land. She states that “it is the credo for a culture of gratitude” (115). In fact, throughout the
chapter she writes about gratitude and reciprocity:
You can’t listen to the Thanksgiving Address without feeling wealthy. And, while expressing gratitude
seems innocent enough, it is a revolutionary idea. In a consumer society, contentment is a radical
proposition. Recognizing abundance rather than scarcity undermines an economy that thrives by
creating unmet desires. Gratitude cultivates an ethic of fullness, but the economy needs emptiness.
The Thanksgiving Address reminds you that you already have everything you need. Gratitude doesn’t
send you out shopping to find satisfaction; it comes as a gift rather than a commodity, subverting the
foundation of the whole economy (33-34).
———————————————————————————
Cultures of gratitude must also be cultures of reciprocity. Each person, human or no, is bound to every
other in a reciprocal relationship. Just as all beings have a duty to me, I have a duty to them. If an
animal gives its life to feed me, I am in turn bound to support its life. If I receive a stream’s gift of
pure water, then I am responsible for returning a gift in kind. An integral part of a human’s education
is to know those duties and how to perform them (36-37).
How can having an outlook of gratitude and reciprocity change one’s view of one’s relationship with the world and
its, to quote Emerson, “natural objects?” How could the Thanksgiving Address help us to address the natural world
more fully and meaningfully?
Task: Write a personal essay in which you address the quotations and questions outlined
above. In addition to the quotations above— find, explain and respond to a minimum of three
other passages / quotations.
Because this is a personal essay, you do not need a formal introduction or conclusion, nor should you include a
traditional thesis statement, but you do need to craft an organized narrative that addresses these questions in a
personal way– and that narrative needs to lead to your final insights and answers. You can consider the following
outline if you think it would help you to organize your writing.
1. Begin by introducing your reader to the fact that you are considering these questions (introduce us to the title,
the author, a brief and general summary of what the chapter is about and then the nature of the questions). I
would like you to frame your discussion around a story (for example going for a walk and thinking about these
things—or visiting a specific place). A personal essay is both formal and creative. The story helps the reader to
better understand the nature of why you are pursuing answers to this question (something much more
interesting and valuable than the reality that I told you to address these questions).
2. In order to offer your very personal views about these questions, discuss and analyze some of the key passages
in the chapter. Make sure that you specifically analyze and explain those passages before you discuss your views
on them. As with the analysis essays you have already written, do not state that Kimmerer says anything she
does not actually say.
3. For the final paragraph, take everything you have discussed and analyzed and come to a final insight about your
views.
Note: This is not a formal essay; however, you still need to pay attention to your writing and make sure that you
organize your narrative carefully. You are allowed, for this essay, to use “I” or “you.”
 MLA Formatting:
1. In your introductory paragraph, refer to the title of the book Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom,
Scientific Knowledge, and the Teachings of Plants and the author’s full name (Robin Wall Kimmerer). Make
it clear that the “essay” you are writing about is a chapter from that book. Example
• In “Allegiance to Gratitude,” from her book Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific
Knowledge, and the Teachings of Plants, Robin Wall Kimmerer writes about the importance of gratitude
and reciprocity.
2. For the rest of the essay, use the author’s last name (Kimmerer). Do not repeat her full name again.
3. Once you have mentioned the title, do not mention it again. Do not write “in the essay.” We will know that
you are discussing the essay.
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4. For in-text citations / quotations, use the page number from the course reader. You do not need to mention
the author’s last name in the citation because once you have introduced us to the title and the author’s
name, we will know that you are only quoting that source because your task is to analyze that essay and
that essay only.
5. Provide a works cited page. Use the course reader as your source for the essay and the “Thanksgiving
Address.”
 Checklist
 Make sure your sentences are focused and that you take the time to effectively combine sentences using
coordination and subordination. Make sure that you are taking advantage of adjective clauses and noun phrase
appositives.
 Make sure you meaningfully and effectively use coordinators, subordinators, conjunctive adverbs and
transitional expressions to provide, where appropriate, clear transitions between your ideas.
 Make sure you provide meaningful and relevant context for your quotations, paraphrasing, and summaries. Be
sure you also provide (a) relevant explanations of them and (b) specific analysis.
 Do not use “I” or “you.”
 Final Draft: Upload your final draft to Canvas. Check the course schedule for due dates and the upload link.
 Process Letter: You must also include a process letter, in which you write about your writing process for the
essay. Please make this the first page of your document (and it does not count as one of the required pages). You
can find a sample process letter in this course reader.
 Formatting: Check the formatting requirements in this course reader before you upload your essay.
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Haudenosaunee Thanksgiving Address
Greetings to the Natural World
Pronounced: HO DEN OH SAW NEE
The People
Today we have gathered and we see that the cycles of life continue. We have been given the duty to
live in balance and harmony with each other and all living things. So now, we bring our minds
together as one as we give greetings and thanks to each other as people.
Now our minds are one.
The Earth Mother
We are all thankful to our Mother, the Earth, for she gives us all that we need for life. She supports
our feet as we walk about upon her. It gives us joy that she continues to care for us as she has from
the beginning of time. To our mother, we send greetings and thanks.
Now our minds are one.
The Waters
We give thanks to all the waters of the world for quenching our thirst and providing us with strength.
Water is life. We know its power in many forms- waterfalls and rain, mists and streams, rivers and
oceans. With one mind, we send greetings and thanks to the spirit of Water.
Now our minds are one.
The Fish
We turn our minds to the all the Fish life in the water. They were instructed to cleanse and purify the
water. They also give themselves to us as food. We are grateful that we can still find pure water. So,
we turn now to the Fish and send our greetings and thanks.
Now our minds are one.
The Plants
Now we turn toward the vast fields of Plant life. As far as the eye can see, the Plants grow, working
many wonders. They sustain many life forms. With our minds gathered together, we give thanks and
look forward to seeing Plant life for many generations to come.
Now our minds are one.
The Food Plants
With one mind, we turn to honor and thank all the Food Plants we harvest from the garden. Since the
beginning of time, the grains, vegetables, beans and berries have helped the people survive. Many
other living things draw strength from them too. We gather all the Plant Foods together as one and
send them a greeting of thanks.
Now our minds are one.
The Medicine Herbs
Now we turn to all the Medicine herbs of the world. From the beginning they were instructed to take
away sickness. They are always waiting and ready to heal us. We are happy there are still among us
those special few who remember how to use these plants for healing. With one mind, we send
greetings and thanks to the Medicines and to the keepers of the Medicines.
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Now our minds are one.
The Animals
We gather our minds together to send greetings and thanks to all the Animal life in the world. They
have many things to teach us as people. We are honored by them when they give up their lives so we
may use their bodies as food for our people. We see them near our homes and in the deep forests.
We are glad they are still here and we hope that it will always be so.
Now our minds are one
The Trees
We now turn our thoughts to the Trees. The Earth has many families of Trees who have their own
instructions and uses. Some provide us with shelter and shade, others with fruit, beauty and other
useful things. Many people of the world use a Tree as a symbol of peace and strength. With one
mind, we greet and thank the Tree life.
Now our minds are one.
The Birds
We put our minds together as one and thank all the Birds who move and fly about over our heads.
The Creator gave them beautiful songs. Each day they remind us to enjoy and appreciate life. The
Eagle was chosen to be their leader. To all the Birds-from the smallest to the largest-we send our
joyful greetings and thanks.
Now our minds are one.
The Four Winds
We are all thankful to the powers we know as the Four Winds. We hear their voices in the moving air
as they refresh us and purify the air we breathe. They help us to bring the change of seasons. From
the four directions they come, bringing us messages and giving us strength. With one mind, we send
our greetings and thanks to the Four Winds.
Now our minds are one.
The Thunderers
Now we turn to the west where our grandfathers, the Thunder Beings, live. With lightning and
thundering voices, they bring with them the water that renews life. We are thankful that they keep
those evil things made by Okwiseres underground. We bring our minds together as one to send
greetings and thanks to our Grandfathers, the Thunderers.
Now our minds are one.
The Sun
We now send greetings and thanks to our eldest Brother, the Sun. Each day without fail he travels the
sky from east to west, bringing the light of a new day. He is the source of all the fires of life. With one
mind, we send greetings and thanks to our Brother, the Sun.
Now our minds are one.
Grandmother Moon
We put our minds together to give thanks to our oldest Grandmother, the Moon, who lights the
night-time sky. She is the leader of woman all over the world, and she governs the movement of the
ocean tides. By her changing face we measure time, and it is the Moon who watches over the arrival
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of children here on Earth. With one mind, we send greetings and thanks to our Grandmother, the
Moon.
Now our minds are one.
The Stars
We give thanks to the Stars who are spread across the sky like jewelry. We see them in the night,
helping the Moon to light the darkness and bringing dew to the gardens and growing things. When
we travel at night, they guide us home. With our minds gathered together as one, we send greetings
and thanks to the Stars.
Now our minds are one.
The Enlightened Teachers
We gather our minds to greet and thank the enlightened Teachers who have come to help
throughout the ages. When we forget how to live in harmony, they remind us of the way we were
instructed to live as people. With one mind, we send greetings and thanks to these caring teachers.
Now our minds are one.
The Creator
Now we turn our thoughts to the Creator, or Great Spirit, and send greetings and thanks for all the
gifts of Creation. Everything we need to live a good life is here on this Mother Earth. For all the love
that is still around us, we gather our minds together as one and send our choicest words of greetings
and thanks to the Creator.
Now our minds are one.
Closing Words
We have now arrived at the place where we end our words. Of all the things we have named, it was
not our intention to leave anything out. If something was forgotten, we leave it to each individual to
send such greetings and thanks in their own way.
Now our minds are one.
—————————————————————————————————————————-
This translation of the Mohawk version of the Haudenosaunee Thanksgiving Address was developed,
published in 1993, and provided, courtesy of: Six Nations Indian Museum and the Tracking Project All
rights reserved.
Thanksgiving Address: Greetings to the Natural World English version: John Stokes and Kanawahienton
(David Benedict, Turtle Clan/Mohawk) Mohawk version: Rokwaho (Dan Thompson, Wolf
Clan/Mohawk) Original inspiration: Tekaronianekon (Jake Swamp, Wolf Clan/Mohawk)
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Allegiance to Gratitude by Robin Wall Kimmerer
(from her book: Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge, and the Teachings of Plants)
There was a time, not so long ago, when my morning ritual was to rise before dawn and start the
oatmeal and coffee before waking the girls. Then I would get them up to feed the horses before school. That
done, I would pack lunches, find lost papers, and kiss pink cheeks as the school bus chugged up the hill, all before
filling bowls for the cats and dog, finding something presentable to wear, and previewing my morning lecture as I
drove to school. Reflection was not a word frequently on my mind those days.
But on Thursdays, I didn’t have a morning class and could linger a little, so I would walk the pasture to
the top of the hill to start the day properly, with birdsong and shoes soaked in dew and the
clouds still pink with sunrise over the barn, a down payment on a debt of gratitude. One Thursday I was distracted
from the robins and new leaves by a call I received from my sixth-grade daughter’s teacher the night before.
Apparently, my daughter had begun refusing to stand with the class for the Pledge of Allegiance. The teacher
assured me she wasn’t being disruptive, really, or misbehaving, but just sat quietly in her seat and wouldn’t join
in. After a couple of days other students began following suit, so the teacher was calling “just because I thought
you’d like to know.”
I remember how that ritual used to begin my day, too, from kindergarten through high school. Like the
tap of the conductor’s baton, it gathered our attention from the hubbub of the school bus and the jostling
hallway. We would be shuffling our chairs and putting lunch boxes away in the cubbies when the loudspeaker
grabbed us by the collar. We stood beside our desks facing the flag that hung on a stick at the corner of the
blackboard, as ubiquitous as the smell of floor wax and school paste.
Hand over heart, we recited the Pledge of Allegiance. The pledge was a puzzlement to me, as I’m sure it
is to most students. I had no earthly idea what a republic even was, and was none too sure about God, either.
And you didn’t have to be an eight-year-old Indian to know that “liberty and justice for all” was a questionable
premise.
But during school assemblies, when three hundred voices all joined together, all those voices, in
measured cadence, from the gray-haired school nurse’s to the kindergarteners’, made me feel part of something.
It was as if for a moment our minds were one. I could imagine then that if we all spoke for that elusive justice, it
might be within our reach.
From where I stand today, though, the idea of asking schoolchildren to pledge loyalty to a political
system seems exceedingly curious. Especially since we know full well that the practice of recitation will largely be
abandoned in adulthood, when the age of reason has presumably been attained. Apparently my daughter had
reached that age and I was not about to interfere. “Mom, I’m not going to stand there and lie,” she explained.
“And it’s not exactly liberty if they force you to say it, is it?”
She knew different morning rituals, her grandfather’s pouring of coffee on the ground and the one I
carried out on the hill above our house, and that was enough for me. The sunrise ceremony is our Potawatomi
way of sending gratitude into the world, to recognize all that we are given and to offer our choicest thanks in
return. Many Native peoples across the world, despite myriad cultural differences, have this in common—we are
rooted in cultures of
gratitude.
Our old farm is within the ancestral homelands of the Onondaga Nation and their reserve lies a few
ridges to the west of my hilltop. There, just like on my side of the ridge, school buses discharge a herd of kids who
run even after the bus monitors bark “Walk!” But at Onondaga, the flag flying outside the entrance is purple and
white, depicting the Hiawatha wampum belt, the symbol of the Haudenosaunee Confederacy. With bright
backpacks too big for their little shoulders, the kids stream in through doors painted the traditional
Haudenosaunee purple, under the words Nya wenhah Ska: nonh a greeting of health and peace. Black-haired
children run circles around the atrium, through sun shafts, over clan symbols etched on the slate floor.
Here the school week begins and ends not with the Pledge of Allegiance, but with the Thanksgiving
Address, a river of words as old as the people themselves, known more accurately in the Onondaga language as
the Words That Come Before All Else. This ancient order of protocol sets gratitude as the highest priority. The
gratitude is directed straight to the ones who share their gifts with the world.
All the classes stand together in the atrium, and one grade each week has responsibility for the oratory.
Together, in a language older than English, they begin the recitation. It is said that the people were instructed to
stand and offer these words whenever they gathered, no matter how many or how few, before anything else was
done. In this ritual, their teachers remind them that every day, “beginning with where our feet first touch the
earth, we send greetings and thanks to all members of the natural world.”
Today it is the third grade’s turn. There are only eleven of them and they do their best to start together,
giggling a little, and nudging the ones who just stare at the floor. Their little faces are screwed
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up with concentration and they glance at their teacher for prompts when they stumble on the words. In their own
language they say the words they’ve heard nearly every day of their lives.
Today we have gathered and when we look upon the faces around us
we see that the cycles of life continue. We have been given the duty to
live in balance and harmony with each other and all living things. So
now let us bring our minds together as one as we give greetings and
thanks to each other as People. Now our minds are one.10
There is a pause and the kids murmur their assent.
We are thankful to our Mother the Earth, for she gives us everything
that we need for life. She supports our feet as we walk about upon her.
It gives us joy that she still continues to care for us, just as she has
from the beginning of time. To our Mother, we send thanksgiving, love,
and respect. Now our minds are one.
The kids sit remarkably still, listening. You can tell they’ve been raised in the longhouse.
The Pledge has no place here. Onondaga is sovereign territory, surrounded on every side by the
Republicforwhichitstands, but outside the jurisdiction of the United States. Starting the day with the Thanksgiving
Address is a statement of identity and an exercise of sovereignty, both political and cultural. And so much more.
The Address is sometimes mistakenly viewed as a prayer, but the children’s heads are not bowed. The
elders at Onondaga teach otherwise, that the Address is far more than a pledge, a prayer, or a poem alone.
Two little girls step forward with arms linked and take up the words again:
We give thanks to all of the waters of the world for quenching our
thirst, for providing strength and nurturing life for all beings. We know
its power in many forms—waterfalls and rain, mists and streams,
rivers and oceans, snow and ice. We are grateful that the waters are
still here and meeting their responsibility to the rest of Creation. Can
we agree that water is important to our lives and bring our minds
together as one to send greetings and thanks to the Water? Now our
minds are one.
I’m told that the Thanksgiving Address is at heart an invocation of gratitude, but it is also a material,
scientific inventory of the natural world. Another name for the oration is Greetings and Thanks to the Natural
World. As it goes forward, each element of the ecosystem is named in its turn, along with its function. It is a
lesson in Native science.
We turn our thoughts to all of the Fish life in the water. They were
instructed to cleanse and purify the water. They also give themselves
to us as food. We are grateful that they continue to do their duties and
we send to the Fish our greetings and our thanks. Now our minds are
one.
Now we turn toward the vast fields of Plant life. As far as the
eye can see, the Plants grow, working many wonders. They sustain
many life forms. With our minds gathered together, we give thanks
and look forward to seeing Plant life for many generations to come.
Now our minds are one.
When we look about us, we see that the berries are still here,
providing us with delicious foods. The leader of the berries is the
strawberry, the first to ripen in the spring. Can we agree that we are
grateful that the berries are with us in the world and send our
thanksgiving, love, and respect to the berries? Now our minds are one.
10 *The actual wording of the Thanksgiving Address varies with the speaker. This text is the widely publicized version of John
Stokes and Kanawahientun, 1993.
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I wonder if there are kids here who, like my daughter, rebel, who refuse to stand and say thank you to
the earth. It seems hard to argue with gratitude for berries.
With one mind, we honor and thank all the Food Plants we harvest
from the garden, especially the Three Sisters who feed the people with
such abundance. Since the beginning of time, the grains, vegetables,
beans, and fruit have helped the people survive. Many other living
things draw strength from them as well. We gather together in our
minds all the plant foods and send them a greeting and thanks. Now
our minds are one.
The kids take note of each addition and nod in agreement. Especially for food. A little boy in a Red Hawks
lacrosse shirt steps forward to speak:
Now we turn to the Medicine Herbs of the world. From the beginning
they were instructed to take away sickness. They are always waiting
and ready to heal us. We are so happy that there are still among us
those special few who remember how to use the plants for healing.
With one mind, we send thanksgiving, love, and respect to the
Medicines and the keepers of the Medicines. Now our minds are one.
Standing around us we see all the Trees. The Earth has many
families of Trees who each have their own instructions and uses. Some
provide shelter and shade, others fruit and beauty and many useful
gifts. The Maple is the leader of the trees, to recognize its gift of sugar
when the People need it most. Many peoples of the world recognize a
Tree as a symbol of peace and strength. With one mind we greet and
thank the Tree life. Now our minds are one.
The Address is, by its very nature of greetings to all who sustain us, long. But it can be done in
abbreviated form or in long and loving detail. At the school, it is tailored to the language skills of the children
speaking it.
Part of its power surely rests in the length of time it takes to send greetings and thanks to so many. The
listeners reciprocate the gift of the speaker’s words with their attention, and by putting their minds into the place
where gathered minds meet. You could be passive and just let the words and the time flow by, but each call asks
for the response: “Now our minds are one.” You have to concentrate; you have to give yourself to the listening. It
takes effort, especially in a time when we are accustomed to sound bites and immediate gratification.
When the long version is done at joint meetings with non-Native business or government officials, they
often get a little fidgety— especially the lawyers. They want to get on with it, their eyes darting around the room,
trying so hard not to look at their watches. My own students profess to cherish the opportunity to share this
experience of the Thanksgiving Address, and yet it never fails that one or a few comment that it goes on too long.
“Poor you,” I sympathize. “What a pity that we have so much to be thankful for.”
We gather our minds together to send our greetings and thanks to all the
beautiful animal life of the world, who walk about with us. They have many
things to teach us as people. We are grateful that they continue to share their
lives with us and hope that it will always be so. Let us put our minds together as
one and send our thanks to the Animals. Now our minds are one.
Imagine raising children in a culture in which gratitude is the first priority. Freida Jacques works at the
Onondaga Nation School. She is a clan mother, the school-community liaison, and a generous
teacher. She explains to me that the Thanksgiving Address embodies the Onondaga relationship with the world.
Each part of Creation is thanked in turn for fulfilling its Creator-given duty to the others. “It reminds you every day
that you have enough,” she says. “More than enough. Everything needed to sustain life is already here. When we
do this, every day, it leads us to an outlook of contentment and respect for all of Creation.”
You can’t listen to the Thanksgiving Address without feeling wealthy. And, while expressing gratitude
seems innocent enough, it is a revolutionary idea. In a consumer society, contentment is a radical proposition.
Recognizing abundance rather than scarcity undermines an economy that thrives by creating unmet desires.
Gratitude cultivates an ethic of fullness, but the economy needs emptiness. The Thanksgiving Address reminds
you that you already have everything you need. Gratitude doesn’t send you out shopping to find satisfaction; it
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comes as a gift rather than a commodity, subverting the foundation of the whole economy. That’s good medicine
for land and people alike.
We put our minds together as one and thank all the birds who move and fly
about over our heads. The Creator gave them the gift of beautiful songs. Each
morning they greet the day and with their songs remind us to enjoy and
appreciate life. The Eagle was chosen to be their leader and to watch over the
world. To all the Birds, from the smallest to the largest, we send our joyful
greetings and thanks. Now our minds are one.
The oratory is more than an economic model; it’s a civics lesson, too. Freida emphasizes that hearing the
Thanksgiving Address every day lifts up models of leadership for the young people: the strawberry as leader of
the berries, the eagle as leader of the birds. “It reminds them that much is expected of them eventually. It says
this is what it means to be a good leader, to have vision, and to be generous, to sacrifice on behalf of the people.
Like the maple, leaders are the first to offer their gifts.” It reminds the whole community that leadership is rooted
not in power and authority, but in service and wisdom.
We are all thankful for the powers we know as the Four Winds. We
hear their voices in the moving air as they refresh us and purify the air
we breathe. They help to bring the change of seasons. From the four
directions they come, bringing us messages and giving us strength.
With one mind we send our greetings and thanks to the Four Winds.
Now our minds are one.
As Freida says, “The Thanksgiving Address is a reminder we cannot hear too often, that we human beings
are not in charge of the world, but are subject to the same forces as all of the rest of life.”
For me, the cumulative impact of the Pledge of Allegiance, from my time as a schoolgirl to my adulthood,
was the cultivation of cynicism and a sense of the nation’s hypocrisy—not the pride it was meant to instill. As I
grew to understand the gifts of the earth, I couldn’t understand how “love of country” could omit recognition of
the actual country itself. The only promise it requires is to a flag. What of the promises to each other and to the
land?
What would it be like to be raised on gratitude, to speak to the natural world as a member of the
democracy of species, to raise a pledge of Interdependence? No declarations of political loyalty are required, just
a response to a repeated question: “Can we agree to be grateful for all that is given?” In the Thanksgiving
Address, I hear respect toward all our nonhuman relatives, not one political entity, but to all of life. What happens
to nationalism, to political boundaries, when allegiance lies with winds and waters that know no boundaries, that
cannot be bought or sold?
Now we turn to the west where our grandfathers the Thunder Beings
live. With lightning and thundering voices they bring with them the
water that renews life. We bring our minds together as one to send
greetings and thanks to our Grandfathers, the Thunderers.
We now send greetings and thanks to our eldest brother the
Sun. Each day without fail he travels the sky from east to west,
bringing the light of a new day. He is the source of all the fires of life.
With one mind, we send greetings and thanks to our Brother, the Sun.
Now our minds are one.
The Haudenosaunee have been recognized for centuries as masters of negotiation, for the political
prowess by which they’ve survived against all odds. The Thanksgiving Address serves the people in myriad ways,
including diplomacy. Most everyone knows the tension that squeezes your jaw before a difficult conversation or a
meeting that is bound to be contentious. You straighten your pile of papers more than once while the arguments
you have prepared stand at attention like soldiers in your throat, ready to be deployed. But then the Words That
Come Before All Else begin to flow, and you start to answer. Yes, of course we can agree that we are grateful for
Mother Earth. Yes, the same sun shines on each and every one of us. Yes, we are united in our respect for the
trees. By the time we greet Grandmother Moon, the harsh faces have softened a bit in the gentle light of
remembrance. Piece by piece, the cadence begins to eddy around the boulder of disagreement and erode the
edges of the barriers between us. Yes, we can all agree that the waters are still here. Yes, we can unite our minds
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in gratitude for the winds. Not surprisingly, Haudenosaunee decision¬ making proceeds from consensus, not by a
vote of the majority. A decision is made only “when our minds are one.” Those words are a brilliant political
preamble to negotiation, strong medicine for soothing partisan fervor. Imagine if our government meetings
began with the Thanksgiving Address. What if our leaders first found common ground before fighting over their
differences?
We put our minds together and give thanks to our oldest
Grandmother, the Moon, who lights the nighttime sky. She is the
leader of women all over the world and she governs the movement of
the ocean tides. By her changing face we measure time and it is the
Moon who watches over the arrival of children here on Earth. Let us
gather our thanks for Grandmother Moon together in a pile, layer
upon layer of gratitude, and then joyfully fling that pile of thanks high
into the night sky that she will know. With one mind, we send
greetings and thanks to our Grandmother, the Moon.
We give thanks to the Stars who are spread across the sky like
jewelry. We see them at night, helping the Moon to light the darkness
and bringing dew to the gardens and growing things. When we travel
at night, they guide us home. With our minds gathered as one, we
send greetings and thanks to all the Stars. Now our minds are one.
Thanksgiving also reminds us of how the world was meant to be in its original condition. We can
compare the roll call of gifts bestowed on us with their current status. Are all the pieces of the ecosystem still
here and doing their duty? Is the water still supporting life? Are all those birds still healthy? When we can no
longer see the stars because of light pollution, the words of Thanksgiving should awaken us to our loss and spur
us to restorative action. Like the stars themselves, the words can guide us back home.
We gather our minds to greet and thank the enlightened Teachers who
have come to help throughout the ages. When we forget how to live in
harmony, they remind us of the way we were instructed to live as
people. With one mind, we send greetings and thanks to these caring
Teachers. Now our minds are one.
While there is a clear structure and progression to the oratory, it is usually not recited verbatim or
exactly the same by different speakers. Some renditions are low murmurs, barely discernible. Some are nearly
songs. I love to hear elder Tom Porter hold a circle of listeners in the bowl of his hand. He lights up every face and
no matter how long the delivery, you wish it was longer. Tommy says, “Let us pile up our thanks like a heap of
flowers on a blanket. We will each take a corner and toss it high into the sky. And so our thanks should be as rich
as the gifts of the world that shower down upon us,” and we stand there together, grateful in the rain of
blessings.
We now turn our thoughts to the Creator, or Great Spirit, and send
greetings and thanks for all the gifts of Creation. Everything we need
to live a good life is here on Mother Earth. For all the love that is still
around us, we gather our minds together as one and send our choicest
words of greetings and thanks to the Creator. Now our minds are one.
The words are simple, but in the art of their joining, they become a statement of sovereignty, a political
structure, a Bill of Responsibilities, an educational model, a family tree, and a scientific inventory of ecosystem
services. It is a powerful political document, a social contract, a way of being—all in one piece. But first and
foremost, it is the credo for a culture of gratitude.
Cultures of gratitude must also be cultures of reciprocity. Each person, human or no, is bound to every
other in a reciprocal relationship. Just as all beings have a duty to me, I have a duty to them. If an animal gives its
life to feed me, I am in turn bound to support its life. If I receive a stream’s gift of pure water, then I am
responsible for returning a gift in kind. An integral part of a human’s education is to know those duties and how
to perform them.
The Thanksgiving Address reminds us that duties and gifts are two sides of the same coin. Eagles were
given the gift of far sight, so it is their duty to watch over us. Rain fulfills its duty as it falls, because it was given
the gift of sustaining life. What is the duty of humans? If gifts and responsibilities are one, then asking “What is
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our responsibility?” is the same as asking “What is our gift?” It is said that only humans have the capacity for
gratitude. This is among our gifts.
It’s such a simple thing, but we all know the power of gratitude to incite a cycle of reciprocity. If my girls
run out the door with lunch in hand without a “Thanks, Mama!” I confess I get to feeling a tad miserly with my
time and energy. But when I get a hug of appreciation, I want to stay up late to bake cookies for tomorrow’s lunch
bag. We know that appreciation begets abundance. Why should it not be so for Mother Earth, who packs us a
lunch every single day?
Living as a neighbor to the Haudenosaunee, I have heard the Thanksgiving Address in many forms,
spoken by many different voices, and I raise my heart to it like raising my face to the rain. But I am not a
Haudenosaunee citizen or scholar—just a respectful neighbor and a listener. Because I feared overstepping my
boundaries in sharing what I have been told, I asked permission to write about it and how it has influenced my
own thinking. Over and over, I was told that these words are a gift of the Haudenosaunee to the world. When I
asked Onondaga Faithkeeper Oren Lyons about it, he gave his signature slightly bemused smile and said, “Of
course you should write about it. It’s supposed to be shared, otherwise how can it work? We’ve been waiting five
hundred years for people to listen. If they’d understood the Thanksgiving then, we wouldn’t be in this mess.”
The Haudenosaunee have published the Address widely and it has now been translated into over forty
languages and is heard all around the world. Why not here in this land? I’m trying to imagine how it would be if
schools transformed their mornings to include something like the Thanksgiving Address. I mean no disrespect for
the whitehaired veterans in my town, who stand with hand on heart as the flag goes by, whose eyes fill with tears
as they recite the Pledge in raspy voices. I love my country too, and its hopes for freedom and justice. But the
boundaries of what I honor are bigger than the republic. Let us pledge reciprocity with the living world. The
Thanksgiving Address describes our mutual allegiance as human delegates to the democracy of species. If what
we want for our people is patriotism, then let us inspire true love of country by invoking the land herself. If we
want to raise good leaders, let us remind our children of the eagle and the maple. If we want to grow good
citizens, then let us teach reciprocity. If what we aspire to is justice for all, then let it be justice for all of Creation.
We have now arrived at the place where we end our words. Of all the
things we have named, it is not our intention to leave anything out. If
something was forgotten, we leave it to each individual to send such
greetings and thanks in their own way. And now our minds are one.
Every day, with these words, the people give thanks to the land. In the silence that falls at the end of those words
I listen, longing for the day when we can hear the land give thanks for the people in return.
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Research Essay: Why Do We Garden? (200 Points) Length: 8-10 pages Check Canvas for Due Dates
The Task: Craft a thesis that explores and addresses the connections between the following questions:
(1) What is a garden (in other words—what makes a garden a garden, what defines it)?
(2) Why do we garden (what are we looking for in the art– the pastime, the pleasure, the challenge, the
satisfaction, the escape, the sanctuary– of gardening)?
Please note that it is absolutely essential that you specifically and thoroughly address and respond to these
questions in your essay. In other words, your essay must provide possible answers to BOTH of these questions
and show the inherent link between them. If you do not do this or you only do so vaguely, you will not have
fulfilled the task.
Quick List of Assignments Required for the Project (Due Dates for Each Can Be Found on Canvas)
(1) Online Library Skills Workshops (See Canvas for schedule, links and due dates – Upload Badges to Canvas)
(2) Garden Visits (5 points)  Upload to Canvas
(3) Garden Supply Stores Visits (5 points)  Upload to Canvas
(4) Interviews (5 points)  Upload to Canvas
(5) Prospectus (5 points)  Upload to Canvas
(7) Annotated Bibliography (10 points)  Upload to Canvas
(8) Final Draft (200 points)  Upload to Canvas
Many of you more than likely have little or no experience with gardening. This is precisely why you will need to
research what gardens are and why many choose to garden (and why many choose to stop gardening). Please keep
in mind that you may not end up using all of your research. The advantage of completing all of these tasks is that
they will help you to better understand what a garden is and why people garden. To best familiarize you with
gardening and prepare you for writing this research essay, you must complete the following steps.
Step 1. Completing the Online Library Tutorials: Failure to complete them will result in a loss of your entire
participation grade (25 points). The required workshops are listed on Canvas, where you will also find a link to the
library website where the tutorials are offered (as well as links to upload your badges that prove you completed the
workshop).
Step 2. Garden Visits: Visit a minimum of two “kinds” of gardens (a public garden, a friend or acquaintance’s
garden, a community garden, your own garden, a radically different kind of garden). As you visit these places, take
notes about your observations and ask yourself, based on what you observe, “what a garden is” and “why we
garden.” Then write a 3-page informal narrative (basically a free write) that explains how what you saw helps you
address these questions (and provide some possible answers). The more detailed and informative your discussion,
the more points you will receive. Your task is to begin writing your thoughts about how to answer these questions.
Double spaced. Check Canvas for due date. (10 pts)
Step 3. Garden Supply Store Visit: Visit at least one store that sell plants and gardening supplies (e.g. Sloat
Garden Center, Home Depot, Orchard Supply Hardware, a local nursery). As you visit this store (or these stores),
take notes about your observations and ask yourself, based on what you observe, “what a garden is” and “why we
garden.” Then write a 3-page informal narrative (basically a free write) that explains how what you saw helps you
address these questions (and provide some possible answers). For this assignment, also include what you learned
from visiting the two different gardens and how visiting a garden supply store has contributed to your further
understanding of these questions. Double spaced. Check Canvas for the due date. (10 pts)
Step 4. Interviews: Interview at least three people and ask them “what a garden is” and “why we garden”—as well
as any other questions that you think will be relevant to your research. Note: try and talk to people who have
gardens or gardening experience. (Hint: interview people at the gardens and garden supply stores that you visit; you
can even interview me if you wish!). Then write a 3-page informal narrative (basically a free write) that explains how
the answers to your interview questions help you address those questions. For this assignment, also include what
you learned from visiting the two different gardens and a garden supply store and how these interviews have
contributed to your further understanding of these questions. Double-spaced. Check Canvas for due date. (10 pts)
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Step 5. The Prospectus: Sit down and prepare a prospectus that outlines what you intend to research/ write
about. Your prospectus should introduce your basic working thesis, the research you intend to pursue, and the basic
outline of how you plan to present it. You should already be coming to some conclusions about “what a garden is” &
“why we garden” so that you will have something specific to explore. Check Canvas for due date. (5 pts)
 You are not bound to your prospectus. You are allowed to change your mind. However, if you do change
your mind / direction significantly, please submit a new prospectus for my approval.
 Your prospectus must be more specific than, “I plan to do research and find out why people garden and
what a garden is.”
I am looking for the specific direction and an outline of at least several things you wish to research.
Step 6. Do Your Research
Keeping in mind your specific focus, research everything you can about
(A) Gardens (e.g. their history, practices, garden styles)
(B) Reasons why people garden (e.g. spiritual, practical, relaxation, challenges, etc.)
(C) The specific direction you have chosen to research
Note: You are required to use and quote William Fitzgerald’s “The Impermanence of Order,” Jim Nollman’s “The
How-To Garden,” and Michael Pollan’s “Gardening Means War.”
Note: You must find and use a minimum of six additional sources. Two of those sources may come from Internet
sites, but the other four must come from printed sources. However, if your source was originally a printed source but
has since been stored electronically online, then you may use that source (for example, articles, essays or books
found through an online database).
Note: The best approach for a research project is to gather more information than you need for the essay. Your goal
is to find a substantial amount of research to draw from while writing your essay. Also keep in mind, that you will
not necessarily find sources that specifically address these questions. You will need to process and think critically
about the information you find and ask yourself how your research can help you address the questions of what a
garden is and why we do it.
Note: As you work on your research, you don’t need to know exactly what you are going to write about, but you
should have a general goal. Think of the research portion of this essay as an opportunity to let your experiences and
observations help you figure out what you later want to write about. However, everything you gather and think
about should be focused on answering the questions put forth in this prompt: “what a garden is” and “why we
garden.”
Step 8. Annotated Bibliography: List the sources you will be using for your essay. Do not number the sources.
You must follow all the MLA formatting rules for biographical citations (see the course reader for correct formatting
and a sample annotated bibliography). Check Canvas for the due date. 10pts.
 Below each citation, you must provide a short summary of what, overall, the source is about and how you intend
to use that source. Your summary must be very, very, very specific. I am not looking for generalizations. Make
sure that the summary of the source is on a different line than the citation itself (refer to the sample annotated
bibliography in the course reader).
 Remember: you need a total of 9 sources: (1) Michael Pollan’s “Gardening Means War,” (2) William Fitzgerald’s
“The Impermanence of Order,” and (3) Jim Nollman’s “The How-To Garden” PLUS six additional sources that you
find via research.
 Of those six additional sources, two may come from Internet sites, but the other four must come from printed
sources. However, if your source was originally a printed source but has since been stored electronically online,
then you may use that source (for example, articles, essays or books found through an online database).
 For the articles in this course reader, use this reader as your source (use the page numbers from this reader).
For example (note the exact formatting):
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Things That You Must Do/Remember (Check this List Before You Are Ready to Upload Your Final Draft)
1) Your essay must follow the requirements listed in this prompt and respond to the questions asked in the task
(What is a Garden? / Why do we Garden?). If you go way off topic or do not address the questions, your essay
will not be successful.
2) Important: this is not an essay about your experiences visiting gardens and stores to gather information; rather,
it is an essay that explains what a garden is and why we garden— nor is it a personal essay about why you like or
don’t like gardening (or even what you, personally, think about gardening). To that end, you are not allowed to
use “I” in the essay (or “you”).
3) As we will have discussed in class, your essay is not a dumping ground for quotations. Keep in mind our
discussions about using research to meaningfully contribute to the discussion in your essay (use your sources to
support points, to address ideas and possibilities, to provide valuable insights for answering these questions,
etc.). Remember our class discussions about providing context for the sources that you use. Many students,
over the years, have told me in their process letters that they struggled to find sources that agree with and/or
support their ideas and points. This is not the correct approach to a research essay. You are supposed to learn
from your research; in other words, your research should lead you to new insights and help you shape your
responses to these questions.
4) You must write a minimum of eight full, complete pages and no more than twelve. Essays that do not reach the
required minimum might receive less points and / or not receive a passing grade.
5) You must include a formal, properly formatted works cited page (do not use your annotated bibliography).
Make sure that you also follow all of the proper MLA formatting for in-text citations. If you have many MLA
errors and / or no works cited page, I will have to reduce your grade, so make sure that you take the time to
properly format your in-text citations / works cited page.
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SAMPLE PROSPECTUS
Miley Cyrus
English 1A
Prospectus for Gardening Research Paper
Prospectus
I am going to explore the idea that a garden only maintains its shape as long as one does the upkeep. This
reality, in my opinion, defines a garden. No matter what kind of design one chooses, that design will only last if
you do the work necessary to preserve it. Furthermore, I want to explore the idea that many of us garden because
we love the challenge of that upkeep. Many of us also garden because even though it is very hard work, we find it
peaceful and rewarding—even spiritual.
In order to explore these ideas, I plan to research several different kinds of gardens.
(1) The formal English garden.
(2) The Zen Garden
(3) Natural Gardens
(4) Guerilla Gardening
By looking at the differences between these garden styles, I plan to discuss how the different designs and
approaches reveal the various ways we shape the garden. These gardens range from rigid designs to random seed
dispersion, but all of them reflect the intention and desire of the “gardener.” Why does the gardener wish to
pursue any of these? What satisfaction does she get from all the hard work? Finding answers to these questions
should help me better understand how these different styles appeal to different people. Furthermore, I plan to
explore how these designs help us to understand what a garden is— and how these designs reflect our desire to
“control” and “shape” nature (knowing full well that it will last only as long as we put the work in).
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SAMPLE ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY (Follow the Formatting EXACTLY)
Miley Cyrus
English 1A
Annotated Bibliography for Gardening Research Paper
Kunitz, Stanley. The Wild Braid: A Poet Reflects on a Century in the Garden. Norton, 2005.
Kunitz’s book explores his love for gardening and how it has shaped his attention to poetry. His
book reflects the gardener who has become very old and knows that he will soon die and that his
garden will not likely last once he is gone. I plan to use this to help support the spiritual benefits
of gardening.
Pollan, Michael. Second Nature: A Gardener’s Education. Grove, 1991. Pollan explores the gardener’s
almost intimate relationship with nature. The various essays in the book reflect his successes
and his many failures with gardening. He considers the ways that the garden permits us to study
wilderness while at the same time admitting the folly of our desire to control it. I think Pollan’s
book will be very useful for supporting my discussions about the gardener’s desire to control
nature—and the likely inevitably that we will ultimately fail.
Yamaguchi, Akira. “The Essence of Nature and Spirit in the Placing of Stones.” Sacred Space: The Art of
the Zen Garden. Vintage, 1978. pp. 134-141. Yamaguchi discusses the spiritual aesthetics of the
Zen garden by exploring how it reflects nature. I plan to use this source to show that even
though the rock garden typically has few or no plants, it requires a significant amount of
maintenance. Furthermore, the typical Zen gardener continually changes and moves around the
elements of the garden while also accepting that nature will inevitably undo his patterns and
designs. Spiritual at their core, these gardens reflect a gardener’s perception of nature.
Zucher, Brown. “The Free Form Garden: Beyond Tradition.” Gardening, 24 Jan 72, pp 29-38.
Throughout much of the article, Zucher argues that the free form garden offers the perfect
opportunity for someone to watch nature freely form in the confines of the garden, but he also
recognizes that even though this kind of garden is random, it still reflects some kind of intention
by the gardener. I think this will be very helpful for my thesis that gardening is very significantly
bound to the intent of the gardener.
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A Sample Outline for a Possible Research Essay (Not what you are required to do – just a suggestion)
I. Introduction (could be more than one paragraph)
A. Establish the questions
1. What is a garden? and Why do we garden?
B. Ponder possible answers
1. The idea is to possible ways that we might consider what a garden is and why we do it
C. Thesis: Your specific response to the questions (DO NOT USE … People garden for many different reasons and
gardens mean different things to different people or In this essay I will explore the different ways / reasons, etc.
INSTEAD, BE SPECIFIC … MAKE A CLAIM)
II. Rose Gardens (could easily be more than one paragraph)
A. Provide a transition from the introduction / thesis that shows / explains to your reader why considering different
garden styles will help answer these questions.
B. Describe, specifically, what a rose garden is
1. What are its various elements?
a) Order? / Structure? / Formal?
2. Rules / Requirements
C. Why do people choose to cultivate a rose garden?
1. This should be various things – each of which helps to explain why / what
D. Your conclusions about how your discussion of a rose garden answers the questions why people garden / what a
garden is.
III. Natural Gardens (could easily be more than one paragraph)
A. Provide a transition from the previous paragraph(s) about Rose Gardens. Something that picks up off of the
conclusion about what makes a rose garden a rose garden and how this relates to why people garden / what a garden
is.
B. Describe, specifically, what a natural garden is
1. What are its various elements?
a) Order? / Structure? / Formal?
2. Rules / Requirements
C. Why do people choose to cultivate a natural garden as opposed to a more traditional garden?
1. This should be various things – each of which helps to explain why / what
D. Your conclusions about how your discussion of a natural garden design answers the questions why people garden /
what a garden is.
IV. You should draw some conclusions about how your discussion of the two garden forms so far helps us to understand what a
garden is and why we garden. Think of this as an opportunity to give relevance to your discussions of the two garden forms.
A. Take some time to consider how they are different but only do this so that you can consider what is similar about
them.
B. From these conclusions, transition into the next garden form.
V. Zen Gardens (could easily be more than one paragraph)
A. Provide a transition from the previous paragraph to this third garden style. How is it different from the other two –
but is still similar and how does it help us to understand why people garden / what a garden is.
B. Describe, specifically, what a Zen garden is
1. What are its various elements?
i. Order? / Structure? / Formal? / symbolism?
2. Rules / Requirements
C. Why do people choose to cultivate a Zen garden?
1. This should be various things – each of which helps to explain why / what
D. Your conclusions about how your discussion of a Zen garden answers the questions why people garden / what a
garden is.
VI. Conclusion (could easily be more than one paragraph)
A. What the various styles / forms considered together tell us about what a garden is
1. How those differences still help us to understand how / why / what
2. How, despite their differences they all help us to understand how/ why / what
B. What, ultimately, are your responses to the questions?
1. What is a garden?
2. Why do people garden?
Please keep in mind that this is only an example, one that serves the purpose of providing a means for discussion about structure
/ transitions / etc. There are many different ways that you could organize / discuss / research / consider your responses to the
task set forth in the essay prompt. In other words, you can use this outline, but you are not required to follow this direction.
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The Impermanence of Order: The True Nature of Gardens by William Fitzgerald
Gardening is not a rational act.
– Margaret Atwood –
The earliest evidence of gardening takes civilization back to the symmetrical rows of acacia and
palms found in 15th century B.C. Egyptian tomb paintings; in fact, even the most perfunctory survey of
gardening throughout its long history reveals an attention to symmetry— a conclusion that suggests a
significant element of gardening is grounded in the aesthetic and practical desire to bring order to things.
The poet Stanley Kunitz wrote that “the garden is a domestication of the wild, taking what can be random
and, to a degree, ordering it so that it is not merely a transference from the wild” (13). Kunitz’s
observation emphasizes that gardening is not just a happenstance practice of transferring a perennial, a
shrub, or a tree from one part of nature to another, but, rather, a planned act— one that reminds us that
this ordering can only be accomplished “to a degree,” that the design, the shape, of a garden can be as
formal as the gardens of Versailles or as haphazard as randomly disseminating seeds into a backyard and
waiting to see what happens. In other words, even the most disorganized, seemingly random garden
reflects some form of human instrumentality, some act of creation. As a result, gardens— like almost any
creative endeavor— represent and reflect the human struggle to bring harmony to disorder, that order, in
this case, being the manipulation of nature. This is, perhaps, what most significantly differentiates the
garden from the wild. Indeed, in the end, the gardener, wishing, perhaps, to play God, to be a creator,
imposes his own sense of order onto a world of randomness, but that same world will reclaim any effort
he has made to shape it as soon as he loses interest in the back-breaking labor it takes to sustain that
often creative imposition.
Anyone who wants to create a garden has a plan, some kind of design— even those who want to
develop something decidedly un-garden-like. Indeed, even the goal of making a garden as “un-gardenly”
as possible requires at least some thought, some purposeful act. Most gardeners, however, have a
specific design in mind, and typically both the seasoned and would-be gardener shapes their patch of land
in organized clusters of rows, circles, rectangles, triangles and squares. Humans tend to be naturally
drawn to the beauty of symmetry, and while one might argue that the symmetry of a garden stands in
direct contrast to the randomness of the wild, making it almost the opposite of what nature intends, such
an observation fails to recognize how we see nature. At the very least, if one looks more closely, one sees
such beauty and balance in the shape of a leaf, in the curve of a trunk, in a splash of color, and even in the
fragmented oval shape of a pond of water after heavy rainfall. The symmetry we so relish comes from
nature itself, from those places and moments where the shapes and curves of mountains, rivers, and
trees seem almost planned by human intervention or a benevolent being that shares our love for the
potential harmony of order. But it is equally important to recognize that even though we first recognized
this sense of symmetry in nature, we, through the language of experience, impose our sense of symmetry
onto nature. A shrub does not know it grows in a conical shape, or that it spreads across the ground like a
carpet, nor does a flower know that it has a bulbous shape or that its oval splotches of purple balance
perfectly with its white petals. These observations, as well as our language of understanding them as
such, belong only to us— and the garden, in a sense, reflects our desire to recreate that same symmetry
however we see fit.
So, on the one hand, the design of a garden reflects the way we see nature, but, on the other, it
is entirely an illusion. A garden only retains the shape that we impose on it for as long as we are willing to
sustain that imposition. One might take this thought a step further, as Michael Pollan does in his book
Second Nature, and recognize that nature will eventually reclaim anything that we create. As he takes a
walk in the woods near his house, Pollan, who is in a battle with the inevitable forces of animals and pests
that want to eat the vegetation of his garden, realizes that “every weed I pulled, every blade of grass I
mowed, each beetle I crushed— all was done to slow the advance of the forest” (46). Pollan comes to
this conclusion after he discovers that these woods have reclaimed what used to be an agricultural
village— and through this experience he realizes that the forest is what is normal, and that “the lawns and
pavements and, most spectacularly, the gardens” are an “ecological vacuum that nature will not abide for
long” (46). Indeed, if nature itself is a constant reminder of the impermanence of things, then the garden
serves as a profound reminder that any human attempt to force purpose or design upon it only ends in its
eventual reclamation.
If nature is an inevitable force of reclamation, then how does one stall this affront long enough to
sustain the aesthetic shape of the garden—no matter how illusionary and impermanent it may be? The
obvious answer should be: through hard, back breaking work. Indeed, the design and purpose of nature,
if we choose to anthropomorphize it as such, is to grow, evolve and survive, a process that consumes and
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recycles everything in its path. Nature is not concerned about death or destruction or preservation.
Death, destruction, famine, floods, fire, and extinction are nature— just as aphids, snails, gophers and
blights are nature. Such forces are, after all, merely doing what they do. We, in the end, are the ones
that are working against the natural flow of things. Pollan suggests that a garden is “a place that is at
once of nature and unapologetically set against it,” an observation that cautions the gardener to be aware
he is cultivating something impermanent (53). The poet Robert Frost once famously wrote, in his poem
“Nothing Gold Can Stay,” that “Nature’s first green is gold / Her hardest hue to hold” (1-2). Frost’s poem
reveals the melancholy beauty of the transience of nature, and life itself, through these fleeting flashes of
brilliance found in the first budding leaves of early spring, which begin to fade as soon as they have
opened. The gardener lives for those mere hours before “leaf subsides to leaf,” and knows that the
measure of the seasons brings blistering cold, searing heat, flooding rains and generous measures of light
and life-giving drops of rain. Eleanor Perényi, in her book Green Thoughts, cautions that “the seasons
can’t be rushed, or halted” (68). The would-be gardener who does not understand these subtleties soon
learns that he must learn them because— if one wants to play god and shape their own slice of nature—
there are rules, rules that even the seasoned gardener looking for a risk or two cannot always overcome.
One might argue that nature, in all of its randomness, has no rules or that, even if it does have
them, those rules often change on a whim, but when one imposes design, shape, and symmetry onto
nature, one, as Pollan suggests, is doing something that is “unapologetically set against” nature (46). In
other words, if one seeks the beauty found in the folds of a rose, one must realize that (a) one will not be
rewarded with those fragrant swirls of petals until the summer and (b) one should not plant a rose in a
rainy climate because the moisture will lead to mildewed leaves. If a gardener loves the brilliant
explosion of leafless flowers on a cherry tree, he will only witness them in the early weeks of spring. If a
gardener wants a beautiful showy garden of petunias, violets, zinnias, snapdragons and daisies he cannot
plant them in the sand outside a beach house. And, perhaps most importantly, whatever a gardener
wants in a garden, it will not survive without water— which often means he must bring the water to the
garden (as well as sometimes having to figure out a way to channel the excess water out of the garden).
In the “real world” of nature, plants develop to particular kinds of soil, frequencies of rainfall, and
exposure to light— so one might well think that all one needs to do is to choose the plants that best
match the soil and climate of one’s little patch of earth. Many gardeners, however, often want what they
want when they want it and where they want it, so, if one wishes to experiment, one must know at least
something about each plant’s limitations.
And where does one find this knowledge: books, magazines, websites, garden nurseries, friends
who garden, professional gardeners? All these equally helpful sources are part of a culture’s folklore, a
rich history of tips and methods culled from centuries of gardening. As Noel Kingsbury, author of The New
Perennial Garden, points out, whatever “the exact nature of a particular natural garden” might be, “it is
almost inevitably managed in some way; in other words, it is still a cultural artifact” (102). Kingsbury is
writing specifically about the natural garden, a style of gardening that involves much less human
intervention than more formal gardens, but his observation applies to all gardens. In other words, anyone
who gardens takes part in a cultural act that has a long and varied tradition— regardless of whether they
are planting a small vegetable patch, creating the splashes of color found in a cottage garden, or planting
flowers and trees in plastic tubs in a back alley in a poor neighborhood— a tradition that stretches even
further back than those 15th Century B.C. Egyptian tomb painting and as far forward as gardens created by
the homeless in New York slums.
In his book Gardens: An Essay on the Human Condition, Robert Pogue Harrison, an Italian
literature professor at Stanford University, writes about his fascination with these New York slum gardens,
which are made up of objects and items found in the streets, things that might be thought of as garbage
by most. What fascinates him, however, is not the fact that this kind of garden stretches our idea of what
a garden is or can be, but that it asks questions about what motivates these people, who have virtually
nothing, to spend so much of their time and effort finding and arranging items when none of it helps
them with the basics of surviving (42). At the very least, they are motivated, as most gardeners are, to
create, to “express, fashion and beautify,” a kind of self-expression that Harrison reminds us is “a basic
human urge” (42). This spark of creativity, this desire to create, to design, to shape, is part of what sets
gardening apart from farming. Indeed, no one actually knows which came first, but conventional theories
suggest that gardening is either a creative response to farming or a kind of prototype for agriculture.
Harrison, however, argues that one could just as easily recognize that the earliest primitive gardens were
created for ritual purposes, citing the “fundamental” craving “in human beings to transfigure reality, to
adorn it with costume and illusion, and thereby to respiritualize our experience of it” (40). Harrison’s
observation reminds us that the garden can be a cultural expression of art, one that not only reflects the
creativity, skills, and vision of its creator, but also the visitor’s appreciation of and desire for beauty,
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symmetry, and harmony. And it is this creative spark that often draws both creator and appreciator to
the garden.
Even a superficial consideration of writings about gardening reveals that many gardeners and
garden visitors are looking for such seemingly disparate experiences as escape, solitude, purpose, peace,
spiritual grounding, pride, privacy, control, blessings, freedom, self-expression, silence, and a communal
relationship with nature. All of these suggest something entirely self-absorbed about the experience of
either creating or visiting a garden. We often want to be alone with our thoughts as we soak in the
beauty or to escape from our worries as we bury ourselves in the labor of cultivation. Indeed, many
gardeners simply want the escape from their daily lives and obligations and, instead, embrace the
opportunity to be alone with soiled hands and knees. However, many people have a garden simply
because they want to impress others, some even hoping to earn bragging rights. In this light, many
gardeners strive not only for their own sense of perfection but what they think others see as perfection.
Often this need to “show off” applies to those who hire gardeners and designers to create something for
them. Indeed, gardening is not for the lazy, for it requires constant maintenance and many are unwilling
or unable to commit to such an enterprise. Anyone who has tried to plant a garden and then given up can
attest to both the frustration and inevitability of how easily and quickly plants and shrubs resist your will
to shape them to your vision. Perhaps even more curious is the fact that many home owners feel
culturally obligated to have a garden because that is what is expected of a homeowner (many
neighborhood associations even require homeowners to have a well-kept, well-manicured garden lawn in
front of their homes). In the end, the reasons for planting and creating one, or simply having it all done by
someone else, are as varied as the many different styles of gardens and flora to choose from.
So, why then do people garden? Whatever the exact answer to that question might be, its
possible answers are inextricably bound to what makes a garden a garden, a question that also has a
myriad of possible answers. At the very least, gardening continues to be as popular as ever, evidenced by
the multi-billion-dollar industry that has grown around it, a thriving industry that offers the tools,
materials, and cultural expectations that every seasoned and newbie gardener could ever possibly need.
Furthermore, every style, every garden form, has its own jargon, its own books, its own tools, its own
styles. For example, a traditional English garden features very formal elements such as a graveled
walkway, a birdbath or gazebo, and organized beds of flowers. The traditional rose garden showcases
one’s favorite, prize roses in order to highlight their various colorful and fragrant qualities. In fact, many
gardens simply highlight various colors and fragrances and various shapes and symmetries organized to
be visually appealing— sometimes very symmetrically and other times somewhat haphazardly. Some
gardeners specifically design their creations to attract desired visitors such as hummingbirds and
butterflies. Some disperse seeds with reckless abandon and wait to see what springs from the ground.
Some people grow food. Some only garden in containers placed on apartment decks because they have
no other space. Others garden inside, bringing tropical plants into their various rooms. Others turn to
decidedly very un-garden-like styles such as Zen gardens, which typically eschew plants in favor of
organized rocks and raked patterns in the sand that, symbolically, reflect the forces and shapes of the
larger natural world. One can even see something very gardenlike in a single bonsai, a miniature tree that
has been carefully shaped and cultivated in a small pot or tray.
Gardens also stretch beyond the cultivators and designers to the garden visitor, thus allowing
one to include public parks, which people can wander around in or simply sit and relax, and community
gardens, which provide urban gardeners with no space of their own to plant food and flowers. Many
prisons have gardening programs so that inmates can learn the value and satisfaction of hard work while
also producing something they can eat (also serving as a system to reward good behavior). Guerilla
gardeners sneak into private property, often abandoned, and plant a garden as a political statement that
seeks to question the neglect and misuse of that property. Each of these— even though they take us
away from the garden as a home-based endeavor— are still bound to ideas of cultivation, order, and
intent, three very specific elements that clearly help us to understand what a garden is and why so many
do it. Indeed, to cultivate is to work and prepare the land, which both gardeners and farmers do. Indeed,
to plant is to labor. Both farmers and gardeners order, or organize, the plants; however, farmers tend to
limit such organization to even rows so that they can easily harvest their crops. Consequently, even
though farms are bound to a kind of symmetry, the intent of such order and structure is purely to yield a
product for profit in the most efficient way possible. Gardeners, on the other hand, typically seek
symmetry as a creative act, one that can be bound to an artistic-like vision or simply just the desire to
plant something of one’s own, to create something from seemingly nothing. In the end, one can argue
incessantly about whether gardens and farms are really all that different, neither side of the argument
ever offering anything entirely conclusive or undebatable. Nevertheless, much of gardening is bound to
aesthetics and personal satisfaction and goals— and on a dramatically smaller scale than farming, which is
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far more associated with commercial activity practiced on large tracts of land. If we boil down everything
discussed in this essay, we see that the typical gardener seeks something personal— the typical garden
occupying a limited space that is manipulated and ordered to some specific end. And while the
circumstances and intentions are as varied as the possible styles and approaches, all of them are bound to
some form of expression or purpose, one that often fulfills a specific goal or vision.
So, ultimately, what exactly is a garden? Is it merely a matter of: it all depends on what one
cultivates, where one cultivates, how one cultivates, and why one cultivates? Simply stated: a garden can
be planted for various reasons, cultivated and ordered in a variety of styles, but all of it, in the end, is
merely an illusion of order imposed on the chaos of nature, for no matter how or why or what one plants,
such an imposition of structure and order can only last if one invests the time and work into cultivating
such an illusion. This, however, does little to stop anyone who wishes to garden from gardening, for such
is the very essence of all gardens and the act of gardening itself. In fact, if one wished to be so bold, one
might very well conclude that the act of cultivating something that cannot, ultimately, last— something
that is inevitably fated to one day be reclaimed by the very nature that a garden reflects, something
whose success is subject to the whims and stresses of our busy lives— curiously mirrors the very fact of
the impermanence of our own lives. Therefore, one might conclude that we garden because we wish to
shape our surroundings for as long as we remain alive.
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Basic Outline of “The Impermanence of Order” (What is a Garden? | Why do we garden?)
I. Introduction Question(s) Addressed
A. Gardens have been bound to symmetry since their inception What is a Garden?
1. Symmetry comes from appreciation of / the desire to organize things What is a Garden?
B. Symmetry is designed What is a Garden?
1. Such design is related to our desire to create Why do we garden?
2. Symmetry is related to our desire to bring harmony to dis order Why do we garden?
Thesis: By gardening, we impose order on that which cannot retain order. Both questions.
Note: The first paragraph introduces the reader to the main focus of the essay: that gardens, in general, are creative expressions
of symmetry and order in the face of the reality that this order is imposed and will not last unless one does the necessary upkeep
to sustain that shape, that imposition. Moreover, gardeners wish to bring harmony to disorder–all of which serves as an
introduction to not only the overall essay and eventual conclusion but also, quite specificall, in this paragraph, the thesis. (This is
the real purpose of an introduction).
—————————————————————————————————————————————
II. Garden Design and Symmetry Question(s) Addressed
A. All gardeners have a design / plan What is a Garden?
B. Symmetry comes from nature What is a Garden?
C. We recreate that symmetry found in nature What is a Garden?
Note: The first body paragraph builds off the thesis and introduction by furthering the discussion about how most gardens are
based on designs … and that many of those designs are based in symmetry, which comes from our perceptions, fully realized or
not, of the shapes found in nature.
—————————————————————————————————————————————
III. Garden Design / Shape is an Illusion Question(s) Addressed
A. Shape is only retained if we do the upkeep What is a Garden?
B. Pollan story about Dudleytown What is a Garden?
1. Illustrates how nature reclaims anything we design / plant What is a Garden?
Note: This paragraph connects to the previous paragraph by transitioning into the fundamental fact that the imposed shape
and design of a garden will only last as long as its upkeep. Pollan’s story of encountering Dudleytown illustrates this point,
followed by an explanation for why that illustration is relevant.
—————————————————————————————————————————————
IV. Maintaining the Shape / Design Question(s) Addressed
A. One needs to do the necessary upkeep What is a Garden?
B. Nature is always trying to reclaim through its agents of reclamation What is a Garden? ?
C. Frost poem reveals nothing lasts / everything is impermanent What is a Garden?
D. To keep shape, one must follow the rules What is a Garden?
Note: This paragraph connects to the previous paragraph by exploring how nature continually seeks to reclaim anything we
plant or create. The Frost poem serves as an illustration for the impermanence of all things. One must, therefore, know the
rules in order to keep the illusion of shape / order.
—————————————————————————————————————————————
V. The Importance of the Rules of Gardening Question(s) Addressed
A. A Garden goes against the rules of nature What is a Garden?
B. Examples of rules that must be followed (growing requirements/water) What is a Garden?
C. Necessity of knowing the rules What is a Garden?
Note: This paragraph connects to the previous paragraph by building off of that necessity for knowing the rules by illustrating
some of the rules of gardening and why it is necessary to know them.
—————————————————————————————————————————————
VI. The Culture and Knowledge of Gardening Question(s) Addressed
A. Gardening knowledge can be found in a variety of places What is a Garden?
B. Gardening and the knowledge of it are part of culture What is a Garden?
C. It is a cultural act that stretches over time What is a Garden?
1. Goes back to Egyptian tomb paintings of early gardens What is a Garden?
2. And stretches forward to slum gardens, which are quite un-gardenlike What is a Garden?
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Note: This paragraph connects to the previous paragraph by illustrating some of the sources for where one can acquire the
knowledge of those rules and then transitioning into a discussion of how all those sources are bound to culture (thus showing
that gardening—even the most un-garden-like forms— is, by its very nature, a cultural act).
See Next Page
—————————————————————————————————————————————
VII. The Creative Impulse of Gardening Question(s) Addressed
A. Harrison considers slum gardens (an illustration) What is a Garden?
1. They are very un-gardenlike What is a Garden?
2. They reflect the need to express creativity Why do we garden?
B. Creativity is an essential part of why we garden Why do we garden?
Note: This paragraph connects to the previous paragraph by picking up from the previous paragraph’s discussion of slum
gardens. Harrison’s discussion of slum gardens illustrates the fact that most gardens are born from a desire to create, to
express.
—————————————————————————————————————————————
VIII. Many Reasons for Why People Garden Question(s) Addressed
A. List of experiences / needs that gardeners and garden visitors seek to fulfill Why do we garden?
B. People, in the end, garden for many reasons Why do we garden?
Note: This paragraph connects to the previous paragraph by building off the need to express and offering a series of
illustrations that offer a myriad of possible reasons / emotions / experiences and desires for why people garden. The paragraph
more or less ends the body paragraphs by concluding that the reasons for why people garden are many (which paves the way
for the concluding paragraphs to consider possible answers to the question more deeply). Please note this serves as a way to dig
deeper into the question and not to just say that there are many reasons and be done with it.
—————————————————————————————————————————————
IX. Conclusion Begins – Why People Garden Bound to What a Garden Is Question(s) Addressed
A. The answer to why people garden is bound to what a garden is Both questions.
B. Multibillion dollar industry serves the needs of those who wish to do it Both questions.
C. Different garden forms / styles have their own jargon rules Both questions.
1. list of different styles and their goals Both questions.
Note: The first conclusion paragraph begins to provide possible answers to the questions by linking them together. After a quick
discussion of gardening industry the paragraph then segues into some of the different kinds of gardening styles.
[Yes, the conclusion is three paragraphs long. The overall goal of a conclusion is to build off the body paragraphs and come to
an actual conclusion about why we garden and what a garden is. A conclusion is not simply a restatement of what you have
said; instead, it is what you have been arguing towards for the whole essay. These paragraphs set up the opportunity to
consider the commonalities found in the differences, allowing one to show the relationship between gardens and gardening.
These paragraph notes clearly show how the body paragraphs are connected—along with their overall line of reasoning]
—————————————————————————————————————————————
X. More Conclusion: Cultivation / Order / Intent Question(s) Addressed
A. Cultivate: How different and similar to farming Both questions.
B. Order: How different and similar to farming Both questions.
C. Intent: How different and similar to farming Both questions.
1. How intent really differentiates gardening from farming Both questions.
D. Cultivation, order, intention all bound to expression, goals, and purpose. Both questions.
Note: The second conclusion paragraph transitions from the common garden styles traditional home gardeners follow to the
public types so that the commonalities that are shared between all of the garden styles and approaches can be discussed”
cultivate, order, and intent. The discussion of these three common elements is presented through a discussion of how farming
and gardening are different in order to better demonstrate what makes a garden a garden and why people do it (the overall
goal of the entire essay).
—————————————————————————————————————————————
XI. Final Conclusion Question(s) Addressed
A. Reconsiders and expands on thesis Both questions.
1. We impose order on that which cannot retain order Both questions.
2. But this does not stop us from doing it anyways Both questions.
Note: The final conclusion paragraph reconsiders the initial thesis that a garden is a specific design that we impose and that
imposition only lasts as long as we do the work that is necessary to keep that design. This does not stop us from gardening—
and this also approach to the impermanence of the garden reflects how we shape our lives in the face f our impermanence.
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Gardening Means War by Michael Pollan
I CAME TO THE COUNTRY from the city and brought along many of the city man’s easy ideas about the
landscape and its inhabitants. One had to do with the problem of pests in the garden, about which I carried the
usual set of liberal views. To nuke a garden with insecticide, to level a rifle sight at the back of a woodchuck in flatfooted
retreat, to erect an electric barricade around a vegetable patch: such measures struck me as excessive, even
irresponsible.
Respect for nature’s fragility was an article of faith with me. Deploying superior firepower to crush local
opposition to my plans for the land seemed a reckless act of environmental imperialism. Besides, these animals had
arrived long before the gardener, so who was the interloper? And what was gardening about if not working out a
more harmonious relationship with nature?
One of gardening’s virtues is to clear the mind of easy sentiments about nature in general, and its fauna in
particular. The first challenge to your romance of animals comes in April, after you’ve turned the soil, humped
heavy bags of peat moss and manure from the car trunk to the garden, dug these in by pitchfork, and then laid out
in scrupulous rows the seedlings of early crops—lettuce, broccoli, cabbage. Do all that, then see how you feel next
morning when that orderly parade ground of seedlings has been mowed down by a woodchuck out snacking.
It’s not just the wasted time, effort and cash. Consider the forlorn appearance of the mowed-down
seedlings, neatly snipped off a half-inch above the ground, as if by someone with a pair of scissors and all the time
in the world. This is what tells you a woodchuck is responsible: they devour a crop systematically, whereas a deer—
nervous, and possessing perhaps a more developed sense of shame—will snip a shoot here and there, and then,
startled by a falling leaf or something equally perilous to a 200-pound mammal, will dash off before the meal is
done. The woodchuck approaches your plants less as a thief than a relative. He does not worry that you will
interrupt his repast, and he fully intends to return tomorrow for seconds.
And the gardener will oblige. He is not about to fold his garden in the face of this impertinence. A rodent
whose cerebrum could be packed into a thimble might win a battle or two, but finally the war must go to the larger,
more developed brain. What is our species doing on this planet if not winning precisely this kind of contest?
At least, that’s how I saw matters the first time, a year or two ago, when I awoke to the evidence of a
predawn April raid on my freshly planted vegetable garden. I thought the problem through, and determined to take
the battle to the woodchuck’s own territory, I went looking for his burrow.
My vegetable garden is laid out on a small, flat lawn that ends at the base of a small slope, which is covered
by a tangle of blackberry bushes and a couple of Russian olive trees—perfect cover for a woodchuck burrow, and
not five chuck-size paces from the nearest garden row. Woodchucks, nearsighted and slow-footed, prefer to set up
house as close to their favorite dining spot as prudence will allow. I whacked at the brush with a machete, and there
it was: a large, ugly mouth set into the hillside, with a pile of freshly dug soil arranged beneath it like a fat bottom
lip. This woodchuck was not only visiting my garden, he had moved in for the summer.
This called for a program of behavior modification. I gathered a half dozen fist-size rocks and squeezed
them into the hole. Then I mounded a few shovelfuls of earth on top and stomped on it a few times to jam the rock
and earth down into the tunnel. This ought to persuade him to move elsewhere, I thought, with the confidence of
someone who understood not the first thing about woodchucks.
The next day the hole had yawned open and spit out the rocks and the soil. Hungry from his excavation
work, the woodchuck had polished off a fresh row of lettuce seedlings.
THE READER MIGHT REASONABLY wonder why I had no fence. I can offer a few practical explanations—expense,
building competence—but the real reasons, I suspect, were more visceral. Fences just didn’t accord with my view of
gardening. A garden should be continuous with the natural landscape, in harmony with its surroundings. The idea
that a garden might actually require protection from nature seemed absurd.
I had also absorbed the traditional American view that fences were Old World, out of place in the American
landscape, a notion that crops up repeatedly in 19th-century American writing about the landscape. Early landscape
architects, such as Frank Scott, campaigned tirelessly against the fence, which was considered a feudal holdover
from Britain. In 1870, Scott wrote that ”to narrow our own or our neighbor’s views of the free graces of Nature”
was selfish and undemocratic.
The American prejudice against fences probably has its origins in the first settlers’ views of nature. The
Puritans saw the American landscape as sacred. The transcendentalists, too, considered nature ”God’s second
book,” and taught us to read it for moral instruction. Residues of this view persist. It may be that in nature writing
today guilt has taken the rhetorical place of transcendentalist ecstasy, but the essential religiosity remains.
Once we accept the landscape as a moral and spiritual space, how can we presume to remake God’s
landscape? It is one thing to cultivate the earth for our sustenance—the Bible speaks of that—but to do so for
esthetic reasons has until very recently struck Americans as frivolous, or worse. Even when we plan gardens today,
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we avoid anything that looks designed or artificial. We favor gardens that resemble natural landscapes, and that
leaves little room for fences.
MY OWN EFFORTS to design a perennial border that flowed seamlessly into the surrounding landscape met
with derision from the local inhabitants, who quickly took advantage of my naive romanticism. The deer feasted on
the young day lily and delphinium shoots. The grasses from the meadow have found that so-called hardy perennials
are, in fact, pushovers. Instead of the flower border pushing back toward the meadow, the meadow is pushing
forward to the house. Without my intervention, the border would not have stood the season.
Under the pressure of this many-fronted assault, I have come to understand the distance between
naturalists, who gaze benignly on all of nature’s operations, and the experienced gardener, who perforce has
developed a somewhat less sentimental view. Particularly toward woodchucks. I am not ready to see them
banished from the planet altogether—they must have some ecological purpose—but I seriously doubt that news of
some form of woodchuck megadeath in this part of the country would put me in an elegiac frame of mind.
But in giving up my romantic views of the local fauna, I may have gone overboard in the opposite direction.
I tried everything I could think of to eliminate my woodchuck problem, in an escalating series of measures William
Westmoreland would have understood. I started with elaborate campaigns of behavior modification—my send-in-afew-
advisers phase, in which I confidently deployed the accumulated wisdom of Western civilization. I had done my
reading and learned that woodchucks can’t stand getting their fur dirty. Thinking I had located my adversary’s
Achilles’ heel, I introduced a few choice items into his tunnel: a dozen eggs, smashed and dribbled down its side; a
jar of molasses; half a can of motor oil; a dead field mouse. And, lastly, a quart of creosote, vile stuff so sticky he’d
need his fur steam-cleaned.
When this didn’t work—evidently, my woodchuck lacked his species’ Felix Unger gene—I found myself
attracted to less cerebral approaches. It’s astonishing, actually, how much anger an animal’s infiltration of your
garden can incite. I would not, after all, go hungry as a result of his depredations. No, this was no longer about any
cool calculations of self-interest. This was about winning.
A rifle was out of the question; I’ve always been afraid of guns, and have never owned one. But I came up
with something equally unsentimental: I found a somewhat flattened woodchuck along the highway, scooped it into
a crate and brought it home. I hacked the corpse into several pieces and jammed them into the burrow. This
amounted to terrorism, I admit. But either he did not get it, or he did not care, because in two days’ time he had
dug a detour around the corpse and the pillaging resumed.
Next, I decided to incinerate the woodchuck in his burrow. I poured maybe a gallon of gasoline down his
tunnel, waited a few minutes for it to fan out along the various passageways, and struck a match.
Evidently, there was not enough oxygen down there, because the flames shot in the wrong direction—up,
toward my face. I leapt back before I was singed too badly, and watched a black-orange fountain of flame flare up
toward an olive tree. I managed to smother the fire with earth before the entire garden went up. I guess this was
my destroy-the-village-in-order-to-save-it phase.
MY BRUSH WITH CONFLAGRATION among the vegetables shocked me out of my Vietnam approach to
garden pests before I had a chance to defoliate the neighborhood. I also began to think that there might be more
going on here than a cartoonish war between me and a woodchuck.
I realized that during a long walk one late afternoon last April in the woods near my house. Most of the
land around here is post-agricultural hardwood forest; the farms were abandoned starting around the turn of the
century, and the forest has made quick work of reclaiming large parts of the countryside. You might think this oak
forest was primordial if not for the stone walls and other lingering signs of one-time cultivation: wolf trees
(specimens with broad crowns, signifying they matured in open, uncompetitive spaces); the anomalous bloom of a
garden flower, faint plow furrows visible in the snow cover.
But on this particular walk I found an even ghostlier set of signs. Following an old logging trail, I came to an
area that somehow seemed more ordered than the surrounding woods. On both sides of the trail were stone
walls—linear piles, really—marking small rectangular enclosures among the trees. Within each square was a
rectangular pit lined with stones: the foundation of a small house.
I HAD STUMBLED UPON Dudleytown, an abandoned 19th-century settlement that I had often been told
was nearby but had never been able to locate. Traces of former habitation were everywhere, like shadows on the
landscape, even though the forest had completely recolonized the area. Oaks, hickories, ash and sycamores had
spread out evenly over the village like a blanket, rising up in the former yards and fields and even in the middle of
cellar pits, jutting heedlessly through spaces that once had been organized into kitchens and bedrooms, warm
spaces that had vibrated with human sounds.
If you blotted the trees from sight and followed the contours of the land, you could make out the
organization of the village. Houses lined a main street. The stone walls marked each family’s yard; in some stood
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gnarled apple trees on their last legs, starved for sunlight by the new forest canopy. A few clumps of day lily
survived, along with deep green patches of myrtle and vinca: remnants of dooryard gardens that the forest had
failed to defeat. Some yards opened onto what must have been fields or pastures. Stone walls, which had once
marked boundaries and kept cows from straying, threaded arbitrary paths through the trees, accomplishing
nothing.
To the gardener in me, Dudleytown quickly assumed a spectral presence. Every weed I pulled, every blade
of grass I mowed, each beetle I crushed—all was done to slow the advance of the forest that had reclaimed
Dudleytown. It made me see that the woodchuck was no free-agent pest, snacking strictly on his own account. He
labored on behalf of the oncoming forest. Not only the animals, but the insects, the weeds, even the fungi and
bacteria, were working together to erase my garden—and after that, my lawn, my driveway, my patio, even my
house.
My experience as a gardener has taught me that nature resents our presence. She deploys her various
agents to undo our work in the garden. But to what end? Now I grasped her local teleology: Dudleytown.
The forest, I now understand, is ”normal”; everything else—the fields and meadows, the lawns and
pavements and, most spectacularly, the gardens—is an ecological ”vacuum” that nature will not abide for long.
Here the soil is richest and most frequently turned over. What softer, sweeter, more hospitable bed could an
airborne weed seed ever find to lie down on? Other weeds don’t even have to find your garden: thousands of their
seeds lie dormant in every cubic foot of garden soil, patiently waiting for a pleasing combination of light and
moisture so they can move on your plants.
And your plants are sitting ducks. Just as cultivated soil constitutes a kind of vacuum in the environment, so
do most of the plants grown in it. Most cultivated fruits and vegetables contain nutrients in greater concentration
than ordinary plants. They stick out in the natural landscape like rich kids in a tough neighborhood. Enter the
animals. The woodchucks and deer are the flora’s great levelers, making sure there are no undue concentrations of
nutritional wealth in the landscape. They want to redistribute my protein.
Should the vertebrates fail to drive me out of my garden, a dozen insect species, each with its own
distinctive tactics, will march on my plants in a series of waves beginning in April and unrelenting till frost:
cutworms, which saw off seedlings at ground level; aphids, specks of pale green that cluster on the undersides of
leaves, sucking the vital fluids; loathsome slugs, naked bullets of flesh that emerge at sunset to travel the garden on
their own avenues of slime; and last to arrive, the vast, farflung beetle family, which mounts a massive airborne
invasion beginning in midsummer.
Like the vertebrates, this exoskeletal mob is drawn by the nutritional extravagance of the vegetable
garden, as well as by the fact that most garden plants are nature’s weaklings. We breed garden plants for qualities
that appeal to us, not ones that might help insure survival. Rather than school them in the martial arts, we enter
into a tacit pact with our plants: in exchange for their beauty and utility, we shield them from the horrors of
Darwinian struggle.
So please don’t talk to me about the harmony of gardens and the natural landscape. The forest is so
vigorous around here, so well served by its advance guard of animals, bugs and weeds, that a single season of
neglect would blast my garden back to meadow; a decade would find the forest licking at my front stoop. And in 50
years: Dudleytown. A cellar pit with a sycamore rising through it.
WHAT WAS THE right approach to pests in the garden? How could I halt the advance of Dudleytown
without turning my garden into a toxic waste site? These questions quickly led to bigger ones about how we choose
to confront the natural landscape. Domination or acquiescence? As developers or naturalists? I no longer think the
answers are so obvious.
Domination, in suburban or rural terms, means lawn, a demilitarized zone patrolled weekly with a rotary
blade. The lawn holds great appeal; it looks sort of natural—it’s green, it grows. But, in fact, it represents a
subjugation of the forest as utter as a parking lot. Every species is forcibly excluded from the landscape but one, and
this is forbidden to grow longer than the owner’s little finger. A lawn is nature under totalitarian rule.
On the other side is acquiescence: the benign gaze of the naturalist. Certainly, his ethic sounds nice and
responsible, but have you ever noticed that the naturalist never tells you where he lives? Unless you live in the city
or a tent, the benign gaze is totally impractical—sooner or later it leads to Dudleytown.
The trick is somehow to find a middle ground. That is what gardening is, or should be: a midspace between
Dudleytown and the parking lot, a place that admits of both nature and human habitation.
The choice is not, as Americans often seem to assume, simply between raping the land or sealing it away in
a preserve. That the first approach is bankrupt goes without saying. Yet, right as it sounds, the second one is a dead
end, too. We need not, like the naturalist, shrink before our own power to alter nature. To renounce that power is
in some sense to renounce our humanity—our nature, which is no less real than the nature we seem to think exists
only out there. Shakespeare’s Polixenes has it right in ”The Winter’s Tale.” In response to Perdita, who rejects the
hybridized flower as unnatural, he says: ”This is an art/ Which does mend nature—change it rather; but/ The art
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itself is nature.”
For the gardener, breaking free of the notion that art negates nature is liberating. A promising strategy
against pests can begin to take shape. For starters, one can re-examine the American taboo against fences. Fences
may offend American ideas about democracy, limitlessness and the landscape’s sanctity, but perhaps we need to
consider the possibility that their absence offends the idea of a garden.
FOR MOST OF HISTORY, people have been making gardens, and most of their gardens have been walled or
fenced. ”Garden” derives from the Old German word for enclosure, and the Oxford English Dictionary definition
begins ”an enclosed piece of ground. . . .” (Compare that to American dictionary definitions, which omit the idea of
enclosure.) The long history of gardens, which traverses many very different cultures, suggests that perhaps there is
something natural about erecting a wall against the landscape on one side and society’s gaze on the other. We
number the beaver dam among nature’s creations; why not also the garden wall?
IT WAS TIME FOR ME to put up a fence. I went with five feet of galvanized steel mesh stretched across
posts that had been treated with arsenic to resist rot and then sunk three feet into the earth. The bottom edge of
the fence runs a foot underground, to deter tunnelers. It doesn’t look at all bad, and even though you can see
through the wire mesh, when I close the garden gate behind me I feel as though I’ve entered a privileged space.
But more important, the woodchuck so far respects the fence; the cabbages have reached softball size
unmolested. He has not abandoned his burrow, however, and I picture him jealously pacing the garden perimeter at
dawn, scheming, looking for an angle. I remain on alert.
Now four feet of fence won’t impede a doe with snap beans on her mind, but I can take care of that. Six
inches above the top of the fence, I’ll string a wire that pulses every second with several hundred volts of electric
current. I’ve been told to smear the wire with peanut butter in order to introduce the deer to the unprecedented
and memorable sensation of electric shock, after which they should be gone for good. The power will run off a solar
panel that sits atop one of the posts, reaching toward the sun like some gigantic high-tech blossom. This last touch
strikes me as a nice bit of jujitsu, turning nature’s power against a few of her own.
Intervening against the insects is not so straightforward; but here, too, there may be an art that ”itself is
nature.”
The key to eliminating an insect from the garden is knowledge: about its habits, preferences and
vulnerabilities. Most chemical pesticides represent a crude form of knowledge about insects: that, for example, a
powerful chemical, such as malathion, cripples the nervous system of most organisms, so a little of the stuff should
kill bugs but (probably) not bigger creatures.
Even though this knowledge has been produced by humans wearing lab coats, it is not nearly as
sophisticated or precise as the knowledge a ladybug, say, possesses on the subject of aphids. The ladybug is not
smart, but she knows one thing exceedingly well: how to catch 40 or 50 aphids every day without hurting anybody
else. If you think of evolution as a billion-year-long laboratory experiment, and the gene pool as the store of
information accumulated during that experiment, then you realize that nature has far more extensive knowledge
about her operations than we do. The trick is to put her knowledge to our purpose in the garden.
So far, the only way to harness the ladybug gene for aphid capture is by obtaining whole ladybugs, and this
can be done through the mail. For about $10, you can order 3,500 ladybugs from a company that specializes in
”biological controls.” The ladybugs come in a drawstring pouch that can be kept in the refrigerator; you spoon out
the bugs onto the leaves of infested plants. They also sell praying mantis egg cases, which should be sewn onto a
tree branch near the garden; when the weather warms in spring, the nymphs emerge, to take up stations on the
upper leaves of your plants. Their patience and stillness are extraordinary, as are their reflexes: a praying mantis can
snatch flying insects right out of the air.
Not all of the biological controls on the market are insects; some are bacteria. You can buy a powder
inoculated with Bacillus thuringiensis, for example, and start a plague among the cabbage loopers and other leafeating
caterpillars without harming anything else.
Biological controls won’t solve every pest problem—there are still too few controls, for one thing. But the
approach holds promise, and suggests what can be accomplished when we learn to exploit nature’s self-knowledge
and stop thinking of art and technology as being necessarily opposed to nature. For how are we to categorize
Bacillus thuringiensis as a form of human intervention in the landscape? Is it technological, or natural? The
categories are no longer much help, at least in the garden.
I won’t know until the end of the season whether I’ve completely solved my pest problem. But, puttering in
my newly fenced garden, watching the mantises standing sentry on the tops of my tomatoes and the ladybugs
running search-and-destroy missions among the eggplants, I feel a lot more relaxed about it. Though Dudleytown
remains over the next hill, I know I can stall its advance for as long as I continue to put my thought and sweat into
this patch of land. There are going to be setbacks; gardening is not a once-and-for-all thing. But I think I’ve drawn a
workable border between me and the forest. Could it prove to be a Maginot line? I don’t think so—it doesn’t
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depend on the invincibility of technology. Nor does it depend on the benignity of nature. It depends on my acting
like a sane human, which is to say as a creature whose nature it is to remake his surroundings and whose culture
can guide him on questions of esthetics and ethics. What I’m making here is a middle ground between nature and
culture, a place that is at once of nature and unapologetically set against it; what I’m making is a garden.
The How-To Garden by Jim Nollman (from his book Why We Garden)
Although there are many books and courses on the subject of how to garden, ultimately we learn about
gardening by doing it. The how-to garden is thus defined as the place we go to encounter our own gardening
education. Like the sentient garden, this one is an experiential garden. That is the reason the story of a howto
garden’s planning, digging, and planting is also told most accurately in the first person. Also like the
sentient garden, this garden clearly speaks to us, offering counsel in its own good time. Unlike the sentient
garden, the how-to garden is rarely a self-conscious garden that persistently focuses our sensibilities upon
itself. The how-to garden is more passive, more like a playing field that focuses our sensibilities upon the
activity manifested within its borders.
So far, this book has referred to my personal garden only obliquely—as if it were a diving board from
which I continually spring off into large notions about a sense of place, paradise, sentience, history, the future,
and so on. It now seems an appropriate moment to step off that conceptual diving board to sketch in an
experiential biography of one particular how-to garden as told through the eyes of its own pet gardener,
namely me.
Because any account of the how-to garden is inevitably strung together from a framework of the firstperson
voice, its telling occasionally stumbles on the same problems of distancing that confront proud parents
discussing their children. Before segueing into this discussion of my own how-to garden, we might all benefit
from first considering the strange case of the fictitious botanist Kamikochi Kiyomasa, who ran into his own
problem of distancing while studying the equally fictitious flower Anadea taludensis:
Kamikochi decided to take a closer look at the flowers and so started walking towards the
hilltop. On the way he realized that something very bizarre was taking place. Unlike what
usually happens when we approach an object we have seen from a distance—it gradually
appears larger until, when we are near enough to touch it, it assumes its proper
dimensions—these plants did not seem to get any bigger as the biologist approached
them. When Kamikochi reached the hilltop they turned out to be just as small as they had
appeared from a hundred meters away.
I started my garden ten years ago by focusing entirely on masses of colorful annuals. The bigger and brasher
the hybrid the better it would look in my brand-new garden. I was the guy standing in front of you in line at
the local gardening store juggling ten six-packs of those red-and-white-striped petunias with the blue-andwhite
mottled rim that spelled out the message “Support our troops.”
But seriously, although they provide an instant blaze of bright color, hybrid bedding annuals like
petunias and begonias often trumpet a grand statement of impermanence born of gardening inexperience. By
the end of that first season gardening on six very wild acres, I watched the petunias and the potted geraniums
wither into oblivion and realized that I had planted nothing whatsoever to nurture a deeper connection
between myself and this unique place that surrounds me—even though the connection to this place would
probably endure through the rest of my life.
I sought an enduring garden.
There are annuals, and then there are annuals. The term annual simply defines any herbaceous plant
that germinates, flowers sets seed, and dies all in one season. This succinct life cycle also signifies that an
annual follows a survival strategy that devotes all its energy toward effusive flower production capable of
attracting whatever pollinator it needs in order to achieve the goal of generous seed production. As all this
oversimplified botany refers to gardening, the primary virtue of any annual is providing an instant splash of
color to patch up the tattered spaces in a garden bed.
Likewise, there are splashes, and there are splashes. Six-packs of so-called improved mixed colors
actually means that some marketing person sitting within the bowels of some seed company office has
decided to employ the great American advertising gambit of playing on the customer’s vanity by naming
something the slightest bit new and unusual as, well improved. It is a word germinated in the very same bed
as seed catalogs that describe each of twenty different broccoli varieties as being the best of the best; this fact
is ostensibly demonstrated by the glossy inclusion of twenty one-inch-square photographs that look
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suspiciously like the very same broccoli plant shot from twenty different angles using twenty different lens
filters.
Improved rarely means “better,” only occasionally means “different,” sometimes means “more” or
“larger,” and always means “buy.” It almost always means “hybrid,” going a long way to explain why the seed
catalogs lavish so many extra columnar inches promoting them. A hybrid, for the uninitiated gardening pennypincher,
might be defined this way; If we happen to like that pack of “improved mixed colors,” we are going to
have to buy another pack of twenty sees at $1.98 next year from that same company, because probably none
of the thousand seeds we might have saved from this year’s model will reseed true to form. The parents are
different, the underlying genetics don’t equate. Those thousand seeds will germinate, instead, into smaller
plants bearing smaller flowers. If we are very lucky, we won’t start cursing the progeny of the hybrids,
referring to them as weeds when they start popping up uninvited everywhere we never planted them. We
gardeners refer to these uninvited as volunteers. I suppose it is an attempt to put a positive spin on what
often amounts to many hours of extra weeding. Mixed is another dubious adjective. Unfortunately, mixed
colors of just about anything planted in a garden rarely achieve more than a grand confusion to the eye while
trumpeting a lack of clarity by the gardener. Mixed colors sit in the bed as a sampler of the hybridist’s art, a
summation of all the possibilities on the same order as those six-packs of cold cereal we buy to decide which
flavor we actually like. Planted together, mixed colors treat the garden as a container of tints, and variations
on some company’s marketing scheme. At best, they may elicit the collector’s curious emotion of having one
of each. If there are annuals and annuals, splashes and splashes, then “improved mixed colors” might best be
regarded as the horticultural equivalent to splashing into a kid’s plastic wading pool. The one that was never
meant to last beyond one season.
Despite the very striking petunias planted at key locations around the perimeter of the house, the
flowers that actually held my attention the longest that first summer were the so-called old-fashioned
annuals. If improved mixed annuals are the Billboard Top Ten of flowers, the old-fashioneds are the old
standards—the ones that have stood the test of time—like purple bachelor’s buttons (Centaurea), yellow
calendulas, and the extraordinary, spidery, gray-blue love-in-a-mist (Nigellla).
Each of these pieces grew, flowered and set seed without much watering on my part. And today,
nearly ten years later, the progeny of those same three standards still grace the edges of several borders. All
it takes to ensure their return each year is to grab a handful of seed heads and cast them a bit beyond what
the plants are able to muster on their own. Sometimes I forget to do this. And yet, like reruns of “Star Trek,”
the “old-fashioned” always return. Like rereading Moby Dick for the tenth time, they still pique my senses all
over again. Significantly, the so-called improved species never last, which seems another way of saying that
the ability to bond to place is bred right out of them.
At the end of my first gardening season, I had also learned the names, favored habitat, and flowering
period of several of the tiny wildflower species that flourish at the edge of the woods. I paid close attention to
the fact that early dandelions are soon followed in quick succession by pink filarees, followed by calypso
orchids, buttercups, chocolate lilies, oral root, camas, and centaury. Roughly in that order. By the following
spring I added my first long-term investments in what was still a highly unformed gardening vision: in this
instance, the relatively foolproof choices of a red-leafed Japanese maple and a star magnolia. In my ignorance
I had thought I was buying trees that would eventually shade a substantial area. What I got was trees the size
of shrubs. After nearly ten years, the maple had grown to seven feet tall, and the magnolia barely to six. In
another twenty years, I and told, neither should attain more than twice its current height. I have long grown
to love both trees, although for reasons a nongardener can hardly hope or appreciate second-hand.
The star magnolia’s primary trait is its awesome ability to unfold a lavish spread of the softest white,
fragrant, and exceedingly thick-pedaled flowers. Quite honestly, if I did not personally experience my own
front walk glowing with the show of those four-inch-wide flowers in early spring and someone chose to slop
me a photo of this same tree in full bloom, I might believe the photo to be a practical joke: the canny result of
a trickster pinning huge tissue-paper blooms on the branches just to test the limits of my credulity.
This floor show of a bloom lasts less than three weeks. It leaves behind a fond memory of the
flower’s sweet vanilla fragrance, and occasional out-of-sync bloom in mid-August, and a thickly leaved, twotrunked
shrub with otherwise unremarkable characteristics. If the star magnolia had nothing to offer besides
a three-week bloom—no matter how spectacular—I would have planted it at the end of some garden cul-desac,
thus precipitation an annual spring pilgrimage just to pay homage to a very special tree in full bloom. But
I planted it, instead, right beside the front porch. That’s because I also observe it to be the most hopeful plant
in the entire garden (although someone else might continue calling it a trickster). It wins that appellation by
virtue of the forty of fifty flower buds that bloom to such excess in April. Those buds start showing themselves
way back in September. Its display of swelling buds continues throughout the winter.
The general effect on my own state of mind is joyous anticipation. By late January—when almost
nothing else in the garden is happening, and the ground is soggy and sometimes frozen, and normal human
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being can’t seem to put his finger on what the world spring actually refers to – chancing upon those magnolia
buds growing slightly larger every day offers a generous ray of hope as well as a grand illusion of all that is to
come. By late January, the buds have developed a furry silver casing that makes them look not unlike a
hyperthyroid pussy willow. Every bud shouts out that spring is not far away. But it is still only January. Spring
seems very far away indeed. And the hopeful magnolia has tricked me again.
The Japanese maple achieves an entirely different effect. Whereas the magnolia looks remarkable
for a very short time and then transforms into a hopeful trickster for most of the rest of the year, the maple
puts on a worthy display just about all the time. The leaves are a brilliant red, especially during the spring
when they first unfurl. The high sun of early June reflects through those bloodred leaves, causing them to
light up from right inside themselves. The tree glows as it were a cultivar introduced from a collection Moses
himself brought down from Mount Sinai. The maple puts me in a paradise garden anytime I choose to visit it.
If the effect of the magnolia is hopeful, the effect of the maple is unexpectedly nostalgic, I’m lying on
the ground just to the north of that tree on a breezy June afternoon, head propped up on my elbows. The
tree appears to pulse in time with each gust of the soft breeze. The sun tosses shards of bloodred light
through the shimmery fingerlike leaves; the audacious flicker soon causes me to reminisce about a time, many
years ago now, when we were all younger and mind-altering drugs enjoyed a brief meteoric renaissance
before being relegated, once again, to the death row of societal icons. Sixties songs like “Lucy in the Sky with
Diamonds,” sixties images like Jimi Hendrix in full psychedelic regalia, start flashing in front of my eyes. I see
the rockets’ red glare of Southeast Asia, and it rekindles in me the experience of that crazy, inspiring, youthful,
dangerous counterculture.
But then the breeze stops gusting; the tree lies inert. Just as suddenly, I intuit what it was that caused
the psychedelic generation to vanish until who knows when. No pun intended. Still, the answer, my friend, is
blowing in the wind…
Nostalgic is the only word for that tree. Yet I also imagine the Japanese maple being favored by
architects. The leaves possess a wonderful structure of their own. The Japanese Bloodgood maple is one
cultivar whose twiny branches and bowl-like shape invoke a splendid garden architecture even when devoid of
leaves. The tree is a sight to behold even during the dead of winter when the leaves and all their
reminiscences are fast asleep waiting for spring.
Knowledge and experience. Some garden writers assert that a mastery of their art occurs primarily
through an accumulation of knowledge wed to the direct experience of plant identification, soil chemistry,
landscape design, and perhaps the finer points of the color spectrum. Once we learn enough of these basics,
we should be ready to set off on our own to exert that blessed sense of control over nature that is the
contemporary definition of gardening.
However, any thorough examination of the science of horticulture—when to plant, what to plant,
why to plant, et cetera—will also be seen to offer nothing at all in the way of explaining the process by which a
casual gardener suddenly explodes full-blown upon the scene as a compulsive gardener.
The analytical approach to gardening mainly offers up choice tips and pointers to aid in the education
of a gardener. But mere knowledge rarely leads to mastery because it overlooks both the sweaty passion and
the poetry. As the nowhere garden has already foretold, gardening is creativity on a grand Utopian scale. We
consult a nonexistent compass and so set off on a journey to Eden, which actually ends when we encounter a
sense of place. The how-to garden teaches us grounding: how to keep our eyes firmly locked on the path and
not lose our way.
Our lives are constantly bombarded with information. One result is that most of us “know” more
than we experience. Some of us go so far as to believe, erroneously, that knowing is in fact the same thing as
experiencing. But what that conviction primarily lacks is grounding. To quote an old saw, experience is the
best teacher—not our thoughts and stories about our experiences; and certainly no the data we may collect
while experiencing. The practice of gardening offers on of the premier pathways leading ot a direct
experience of the Earth. It does so far ore directly than any discussion about gardening. It does so even better
than the production of that practice: the garden itself.
A first-rate education grows in our own backyards. The education displays all the characteristics of
matriculation, final exams, degree credits, failing and passing grades. A gardening education combines the
unexpected and the revelations with the methodical. I plant a Japanese maple in my own how-to-garden not
only because the color and shape are right for any particular spot but because the tree possesses an
unexplainable charisma capable of lifting my spirits to crazy daydreaming on a sunny June afternoon. The
unpredictable process of choosing that tree thus borrows as much from spiritual development as it does from
craft or science. I would submit that it is to the bones-throwing, entrails-divining, and especially sweatproducing
aspects of the gardening experience that we must surrender if we are to transform our controlling
hand into a nurturing one.
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A key aspect of my own epiphany occurred shortly after I discovered the gift of the glacier. A glacier
retreated across the land I garden about fifteen thousand years ago. I am told that the ice was three thousand
feet thick, which explains why the surface of my front yard is mostly a slab of polished granite bedrock. The
scarring and gouging of the rock runs decidedly southeast to northwest. The knoll drops off precipitously to
the northwest. When my wife and I first moved here and built our house, the flat plain beyond the edge of
this northwest-facing cliff was composed entirely of scrubby Oregon grape alder, and willow. The very
noticeable lack of forest trees indicated that the ground there probably had no topsoil. The presence of the
moisture-loving alders and willows strongly hinted at a local water-retentive blue clay. When we dug a pond
on that spot five years later, we were very happy, although not surprised, that the clay plunged below ground
to a depth greater than our fifteen-foot hole. When the winter rains do their job and fill the pond to overflow,
Tarzan himself could dive off that cliff and hit deep water.
The opposite edge of the knoll, the southeast quadrant, possesses a very different sort of geology.
This is a gradual slope that descends into a second-growth fir, madrones and pine forest possessed of an
understory of serviceberry trees that fill the forest with white flowers each April. Between the bedrock knoll
and the beginning of the forest there is a uniquely bumpy ground of widely spaced, stunted trees. While
digging there seven years ago in preparation for an eventual artichoke bed, I discovered a jumble of pumpkinsized
boulders covered over by just a few inches of topsoil. Since no human being had ever lived here before, I
deduced that the stone must have been deposited in the same glacial withdrawal that left so much clay on the
opposite side of the knoll. These heavy boulders were the detritus given up by the ice in its northwest retreat
across the boulder catcher that was my knoll.
The discovery of a seemingly bottomless pile of boulders has since proven to be the most influential
factor in determining both the shape and the form of the resultant garden. I started excavating the fifty-to-ahundred-
pound boulders, on at a time, by pick and shovel and wheelbarrow and soon started mortaring them
together to construct terraced garden beds all along the varying slopes of the bedrock. Over the years these
terraces have grown ever more sophisticated and ambitious as my skills increased. While most of the
boulders are of the same mineral composition as the bedrock itself. I have also discovered bubbly pieces of
lava, large quartz crystals, and even a heavy piece of lumpy iron that looks suspiciously like a meteorite. They
are all gifts of the glacier-rocks, each one with a story of its own to tell; each one adding to the composition of
the growing garden.
I do most of the rock work in the late fall, during the two-month period when the garden is going to
sleep but the cold weather has not yet arrived to mar he setup time of mortar. When the rocks are in place, I
immediately start filling the boulder-framed beds with whatever organic material I have on hand. My main
source of the gardener’s gold and diamonds known as compost is kitchen scraps mixed with barrels of
seaweed and bales of hay, augmented with the abundant horse manure I gather by the truckload from a
neighboring stable. When the bed is full, I let the mass simmer for a winter or even longer, until nothing
remains but sweet-smelling compost. Since the finished product is much denser than the original, I start
adding in more wheelbarrowsful of decomposed horse manure until the top of the terrace is overflowing with
it. I let it sit for another few weeks and then plant.
I follow no recipe for building compost and therefore provide no fount of knowledge about how
anyone else should proceed. With a plethora of how-to books on the market, I have preferred to consult my
how-to garden directly. Actually, there are many excellent books teaching a gardener how to build a proper
composter. Every book recommends that we turn the mess regularly with a fork, adding as much air as
possible for the benefit of the aerobic bacteria. Turning also kills the stench. I have not yet discovered,
however, any how-to book that will tell me how to deal with garbage when it’s thirty degrees outside and the
composter itself is already overflowing and the breakdown of all that organic matter is progressing so much
more painfully slow than the how-to book says it’s supposed to do. And every time I put a fish carcass in the
composter, some dog or raccoon manages to get into it and makes a mess all over the year. But I can’t figure
out how the animal gets in. Then again, maybe that dog is doing me a favor. She is turning the compost and
I’m not, which accounts for both the overflow and the stench.
Actually, my own bottom-line advice about composters is less than clinical. It demands that instead,
we follow the advice of an old pop song. Get whatever composter suits your fancy. Build it, buy it, dig it, do it.
Place if as far from your house as is geographically possible without also getting yourself into a lawsuit
whenever the wind shifts toward your neighbors. Turn it every so often. Buy a few bales of hay. Whenever
you empty the garbage can into the bins, heap a few wads of hay on top. Besides that simple advice, que sera-
—whatever will be, will be. Flies, smells messes; one or another of them is going to creep up once in a while,
no matter how sanitary a person tries to be—and no matter how many times that how-to book says it
shouldn’t happen.
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My own rock terrace cum composters have been developing for several years now. Constructing the
boulders into terraces, filling them with garbage, planting them several seasons later, and building stone
stairways to connect them all have since turned into the most labor-intensive tasks of my life. Reiterating the
goals of Joe Hollis’ paradise garden, terrace building offers me the reintegration of my leisure activities. It is
the ongoing source of my physical well-being—my jogging, elliptical trainer, and aerobics. It is the largest art
project I will ever confront, a labor of love and spirit that now writhes across the knoll like a series of waves. I
could never have imagined the extent of these terraces in advance. They were completed on at a time. And
only when the current terrace is finished do I start imagining the placement and depth of the next one. They
are all constructed to the shape of the land, out of the land, and filled to the brim with yet more of the same
land.
Notice that this description has made no mention of the plants that ended up in the various terraces.
This points out an important distinction between gardening and landscaping. If gardening is the experience of
growing plants, then landscaping is the experience of growing gardens. Gardeners keep their eyes to the
ground and the greenery. Landscapers develop a peripheral vision, always scanning the larger environment
called home. In many ways, the two terms, gardening and landscaping, are not much more than two different
viewpoints of the same relationship to place. In this book I sometimes use the two terms synonymously.
In my confusion of suddenly facing so many new unplanted gardening beds, the how-to garden spoke
to me of the virtues of setting seed in one season, then herbaceous perennials grow year after year if sited in
an auspicious location. They put down roots both literally and figuratively. It was during the fall of my third
gardening season that I started accumulating perennials. As perennials tend to do, the newly planted peonies,
oriental poppies, lychnis, and polemonium soon taught me the important lesson of appreciating leaf texture
and plant shape as easy equals to the lavishness of their flowers. Over time, I find myself personally favoring
flowers on the blue end of the spectrum and round, mounding plants over tall or short ones. Captivated by
those two criteria, I convinced myself that the round ball of a crater-lake veronica, with its bluest of blue
flowers, must be the epitome of flowering perennials. But when that pregnant mound of greenery grew so
large that it finally collapsed outward under its own weight, I concluded that its new bird’s-nest shape looked
inelegant and sloppy or even wrong. I fought the sprawl by artfully employing green twine to lasso the
collapsed bundle into a mound again. Success was a twine skeleton that could hardly be seen at all.
Two years later, while immersed in the now-established task of stringing up the veronica to fit my
agenda, I suddenly recognized that the plant’s yearly collapse closely reflected the process that individual
flowers undergo when they open their petals from the center outward. Here was a plant busily engaged in its
own normal growth cycle, and I wanted to incarcerate it inside a green string prison for committing the crime
of aesthetic disobedience. I stopped tying ad soon started observing the veronica’s outward sprawl as an
opportunistic strategy evolved for dropping seeds over a far greater plot of ground than a tight mound would
ever permit.
As one might guess, this was also the year I developed an appreciation for the sprawling, falling,
ground-hugging torus shape. This kindergartener finally listened to the solicitations of a humble veronica and
was soon taught to observe the self-seeding of perennials as nature’s way of cultivating groups of plants
rather than individual specimens. This newfound sensitivity to the growth dynamics of a crater-lake blue
veronica had surely affected my gardening aesthetic. It also gave me my first tantalizing peek at the Mayan
compass, which set me on a long faltering journey leading to an ever-increasing relinquishment of control over
my garden.
The how-to garden soon pointed me towards unusual perennials, downright Dr. Seuss-looking
perennials, so that soon I was choosing such relative rarities as rosey incarvilleas, twirling euphorbias, and
spiny everlasting eryngiums over the much more common salvias and rudbeckias. I became transfixed by
formerly unheeded gardening events, perhaps exemplified by the remarkable way the Alchemilla mollis
focuses a dewdrop right at the center of its thick, perfectly round, blue-green leaves.
Perennials teach gardeners to look beyond the climax of flower blooming and to appreciate, with
equanimity, every aspect of a flowering plant’s growing cycle. In my case, I started to pay closer attention to
the moment a perennial first breaks soil, noticing, for instance, that a large grouping of columbines are up and
spurting toward the sky long before the platycodons show anything at all. When the platycodons make their
anticipated appearance at soil level they look a lot like a colony of tiny asparagus. A week after that event, I
finally notice that one of the plants I formerly identified as a columbine is actually a thalictrum with
columbine-shaped leaves. As another week comes and goes, the columbine remains close to soil level and has
started to plump up its stems. Meanwhile, the individual stems and leaves of the thalictrum have started to
look much more delicate than any columbine. Within another week the thalictrum has grown a foot taller
than either the columbines or the platycodons.
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So it goes throughout the seasons. This recognition of attributes beyond just flower was a sure sign
that I had ascended onto another gardening level.
The classical approach to landscape gardening insists we learn our own personal gardening aesthetic
after first immersing ourselves in the best of the traditional styles. It is an approach borrowed from traditional
art education. Students first study the theories and techniques utilized by masters like Cezanne and
Rembrandt and Picasso before they ever allow themselves to experiment on their own. We draw a better
picture and, by inference, plant a better garden after we learn the technique and tolls of the masters.
Certainly, it’s all useful, all helpful. Ad I followed this model, I would have adopted on faith specific
plantings utilized by, for instance landscape architect Russell Page and probably would have learned to
appreciate conifers a good ten years before I actually did so. Today those conifers would be ten years fuller
and more mature than the trees I finally got around to planting last spring. On the other hand, ten years ago I
had not yet discovered the local resource of buried boulders and so had not yet begun building terraces. With
a front ear of bedrock, I did not yet possess deep enough beds to plant those hypothetical conifers. Ten years
ago I would have viewed those conifers as “element” in my own version of a four-tree garden. And alas, it
seems quite certain that they would be long gone by now, scarified on the altar of their own exuberant
growth.
It is said that the difference between successful people and those who just get by is that successful
people tend to fail more often. One important lesson that the classical approach sometimes forgets to
mention is that the vast majority of the so-called masters were renegades or outright failures in their own
time. They were revolutionaries who believed that relying on too many old-fashioned rules stifles creativity.
As that statement pertains to music, I once knew a local subculture of five year olds who loved to play music.
They continued loving to play music until they started taking violin lessons at six and had their creativity
suffocated in favor of a rote recitation of the classical technique. None of them picked up and instrument
again until they turned thirteen and had recovered from their former torture enough to pick out their own
favorite tunes to play on a piano and guitar.
As the premise relates to gardening, the Japanese garden style, as one example, developed over
several hundred years. Its basic principles were constantly being refined and expanded upon by inspired
although rebellious gardeners who continually rejected and refurbished the established rules of the time. In
other words, straying from anyone’s idea of the traditional path does not imply either weakness of tradition or
lack of talent. It is the tradition and leads to the continued evolution of artistic expression. It is therefore best
to regard the old revered traditions no as laws set in stone, but as free tips by long dead masters.
Much of what passes for gardening aesthetics (including my own developing style) is actually a
fashion statement masquerading as objectivity. Orthodox call about height, color, texture, and the like have
more to do with correctness than truth. They mirror any issue of Vogue magazine where the models are
supposed to represent the perfect woman, though in fact only a certain stratum of the female population
covets that hollow-cheeked, gaunt look.
Reflecting the Vogue vision of female perfection, some gardening styles have likewise become
institutionalized. There is a good reason for this: style offers guidance to people unable, for whatever reason,
to work things out for themselves. It is, in many ways, the horticultural equivalent of those picture books
where children connect the dots and so draw a clever picture. Watching my own children connect the dots
with great concentration, I cannot say that the pastime has either helped or hindered their ability to draw on
their own. Likewise, following preconceived notions of style provides an easy roadmap leading to a
rudimentary sense of place. It neither helps nor hinders the development of a knockout garden.
If any particular style persists for a long enough period of time, we start referring to it as a classic.
Having stood the test of time, the classics are internally integrative, always historically pertinent, and
occasionally beautiful. The redwood deck, for instance, has emerged as a classic gardening element in the
United States.
Get enough of these classic gardens started in one locale and a tradition emerges: the French
tradition, the English landscape tradition, the Italian tradition, and so on If the various classical traditions often
reflect a sense of the place they originated (although not necessarily anywhere else), they likewise reflect a
strong sense of the lifestyle and fashion tastes of the landed aristocracy of that particular place. The
traditional French garden, for example, follows a set of conventions dictating geometrically sheared hedges
enclosing great beds of monochromatic flowers. It is a landscape invented for the precise purpose of being
viewed from above, from great terraces and bedroom patios, and granting much the same overall effect of a
giant Persian rug covering the floor of one’s grand landscaped estate. The French garden thus necessitates a
large manor for viewing, a large staff for maintenance, and inevitably, a bottomless financial capability to pay
for that high maintenance and control.
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The English landskip tradition is the direct ancestor of the modern American garden. It is perhaps
best exemplified by the work of one Lancelot Brown, better known to history as Capability brown. Brown
meticulously constructed naturalistic appearing pastoral landscapes (landskips) that presumed to emulate
Arcadia, the bucolic Greek paradise garden where centaurs and fauns were said to reside. Brown’s
constructed view of paradise can be seen in Walt Disney’s Fantasia, which includes a segment with Arcadia as
the visual accompaniment to Beethoven’s Pastoral Symphony.
The man’s work seems a paradox. This “capability” of his caused Brown to sacrifice great parcels of
the natural ecosystem of England—as well as many of the formal gardens constructed during the English
Renaissance—in the cause of creating a naturalistic artifact meant to resemble an idealized Greek image of
paradise. Brown leveled entire villages to the ground just to keep the view around the manor open and
naturalistic. But he is also responsible for tree planting on a vast scale. His staff planted one hundred
thousand trees on the estate of Lord Donegall alone.
The English landskip tradition has exerted an enormous effect upon twentieth century Western
culture, perhaps best reflected in that exemplar of the modern garden: the clipped lawn. In many respects,
the idea of a vast stretch of lawn was splendidly matched to the English countryside and the aristocratic
lifestyle from which it originated. The upkeep of the baronial lawn was overseen by a large workforce of
gardeners whose fastidious maintenance of acres upon acres of grass was attained entirely by driven
machines. It has even been argued that the landskip tradition was socially beneficial because it proved to be
such a bountiful employer of the otherwise disenfranchised servant class. This high-maintenance task was
utterly dependent upon the abundant rainfall, deep soils, and clement temperature variations of the English
countryside.
The idea of emulating the garden tradition of one specific culture and place doesn’t always translate
well into other cultures and other places. While the lawn was once the highly refined gardening tradition of a
few hundred wealthy scions of Empire on the grand scale, it is now the garden cliché of tens of millions of
homeowners on a much-reduced scale. Over the past hundred years, the lawn has democratized and
humbled itself and finally emerged as the quintessential icon of suburban America. Yet it rarely receives
either the traditional high-maintenance hand care or the climactic blessings that did so well to mediate an
equilibrium between British culture and the British ecosystem.
If the physical necessities of that original balance have essentially vanished in places like Tucson,
Minneapolis, and Orlando, what is retained from the original is its insidious cultural base: the definition of a
garden as a place to be controlled. Where place is unfriendly, culture turns more assertive. In places like
Spokane, Palm Springs, Houston, and Montreal, achieving the ideal of a beautiful lawn often develops into a
matter of poisoning the ecosystem.
Our lawn-tending ways have led to an ecological crisis of some magnitude. The highnitrogen
fertilizer needed to keep any lawn green also pollutes any body of water located downstream. Fifty
billion acres of American lawn at an annual maintenance cost of thirty billion dollars(2) demands vast footacres
or irrigation, which places unendurable stress upon already diminished water supplies across North
America. The amount of herbicides utilized to keep the creeping incursion of weeds at bay far outweighs the
amounts used even by commercial farming. Because herbicides harm many other organisms in their path—
whether they be out-of-sight fish swimming downstream, or pets and children who happen to play on the
typical lawn’s well-poisoned surfaces—the choice of planting a lawn today shares something essential with
other ecological irresponsibilities such as refusing to recycle, buying gas-hogging cars, driving off-road vehicles
to tour the desert, et cetera, ad infinitum. In every case, a once socially acceptable action continues to be
fostered in an increasingly overpopulated world and without any consideration of its cumulative detriment.
There are, of course, other ways to cover up dirt in a suburban front yard without recruiting artificial
fertilizers, excessive watering, and herbicidal poison. Discover ground covers. Or cordon off a little parcel of
the front yard and plant low-maintenance grasses, which don’t demand artificial stimulation. We might also
start to regard the lawn the same way many semivegetarians now regard meat: as a condiment rather than as
the main course. Surround a much-reduced lawn with flowerbeds and shrubs. In the process, reinvent yet
another English landscaping style known as the garden room.
Although my how-to garden has as yet resisted the temptation of the lawn, it has borrowed several
conventions from the Japanese gardening tradition. The Japanese developed their elegant style within a
temperate and wet climate bestowed with natural stylistic elements (e.g., moss, river-polished rocks, water,
and dense evergreens) interpenetrating with vistas of natural features (e.g., mountains and sky). These
attributes closely reflect my own environment. The rules that embody the Japanese style demand a close
adherence to shape, shadow, light reflection, and greenery. Those gardens that mirror the rules most strictly
are often very subdued. Like the English landskip tradition, they are “naturalistic” devices that skillfully hide
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the controlling hand of the gardener. They are planted primarily as a source of serenity. And when done well,
they often achieve their purpose.
Regard the concept of shakkei, (3) which translates literally as “borrowed landscape.” An already
existent view of a mountain, a pond, perhaps a temple, or a waterfall, is incorporated into the general garden
design by carefully framing it with trees. In a few exceptional cases, every single tree, herbaceous plant, and
manmade addition to the garden is placed not so much to hold one’s attention through its own individualistic
beauty but rather to lead the eye naturally to the view beyond. Pruning the trees to frame the vista has
transformed into a high art form. No saw cuts are ever seen by a visitor’s casual glance at the trunk.
Shakkei and the English lawn are both landscape devices, although the former is a perceptual device,
while the latter is physical. Shakkei exists independent of place. The Japanese physical prerequisites of stone,
water, and climate need not necessarily be adopted. What is pivotal, instead, is the view itself and the subtle
way we go about framing it. The lawn, by contrast, is a physical entity that demands green grass wherever it
grows.
In my own attempt to adapt shakkei, I have never fretted very much if the trees are planted in such a
way as to make some prototypical Mr. Toyota break out in deep contented grunts. I also find that when the
concept of shakkei is adopted successfully the result is so exceedingly subtle that most observers rarely
perceive that the plantings were made specifically to blend and focus any particular view. Shakkei also serves
as its own garden compass. The eye is led to a specific viewpoint and the feet soon follow down that path.
The garden and the view interpenetrate to accent a sense of place.
The how-to garden spoke strongly to me during the winter of my fifth season on the land. The
garden was in hibernation, and quite honestly, there was little to enjoy besides the boulders, the wild Oregon
grape that frequents so much of the Pacific Northwest, the fir trees, and an exceedingly mossy hillside. Of
those things I had planted myself, the bare but evocative Japanese maple proved to be the one notable
exception. By now it had spread more outward than up, and a few of the mahogany-colored branches were
snaking around one another like braided rope dispensing a wonderful shape and tint to the otherwise drab
winter garden.
One day in early December my family visited the Seattle Zoo, where I found myself more mesmerized
by the bunches of luminous lavender berries crowding the branches of a Callicarpa bush than by any of the
sadly aloof caged animals. These berries were as brilliant as any flower, and yet four inches of snow lay on the
ground. It caused me to embark on a study of the relative merits of shrubs and small trees, and to conclude
that shrubs are obviously an expression of commitment and longevity in the garden. Flowers come and go,
but shrubs and trees are permanent. Book after book on the subject reinvoked the basic concept that shrubs
and small conifers are best thought of as the bones of a garden. It is an apt metaphor. Evidently my garden
was telling me that it lacked bones.
The resultant acquisition of several shrubs and trees presented a practical solution to a perennial
garden that was consuming entirely too much time and precious water. Any gardener with an unlimited
appetite for increased garden area must eventually realize that all those enormously fanciful gardens
photographed in so many coffee table gardening books are predominantly the playthings of the wealthy or the
outright obsessive. My actual garden area encompassed nearly an acre. Being neither wealthy nor obsessive,
any serious consideration about further expansion hinged upon what I have named the three garden
constraints of time, money, and environment.
First, time. My career is not farming, gardening, or landscaping. The labor commitment to my
gardening avocation was now displaying signs of strain. If I wished to expand yet again, then every other part
of the entire garden had to become commensurately more self-sufficient. My choice of plants altered
drastically toward the self-sufficient, the long-term, and away from the needy. I sought out plants capable of
taking care of themselves without extra pampering from me.
I became a fledgling botanist noticing that bearded irises and peonies thrive in conditions far drier
than we gardeners usually allot them—a function of their Spanish and Central Asian heritage. I stopped
watering them altogether. I noticed those places where sun and trees created shadows during the long hot
days of August and planted accordingly. A frost pocket got a different planting. A west-facing rocky outcrop
that baked during the summer got something else.
I commenced a garden worthy of winter by acquiring two Callicarpa bushes. Another choice was a
Vibernum Burkwoodii, a shrub possessing the dual virtues of shiny evergreen leaves of great merit and clusters
of exceedingly fragrant white flowers produced profusely very early in spring. Continuing my love for blue
flowers, I bought several evergreen ceanothus, a xeriscaping species capable of thriving on no water at all
through the thirsty days of late summer.
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The second constraint is money. The purchase of new plants and gardening hardware costs plenty. I
discovered that a $1.98 packet of buddleia seeds proved no more difficult to germinate than radishes, and I
soon had more six-inch pots filled with one foot-tall buddleias than I could ever use myself. They proved
wonderful presents for gardening friends, some of whom had never heard of the plant. Buddleias have the
added advantage of attaining up to ten feet in height and flowering late during their first season. They put out
long racemes of sweetly fragrant flowers during August when not much else is blooming. They attract
butterflies better than anything else this side of a bergamot. Certain cultivars seem to possess an ability to
attract ants, which don’t seem to damage the shrub. I soon planted several in places far away from the house
where I could appreciate the endemic ant mounds. I like to think that the buddleias keep the ants happy, in
effect communicating a contractual agreement, a coexistence ideogram analogous to my chicken-wire fence
ideogram. Likewise, the buddleias teach me the difficult lesson of how to coexist with ants. The source of all
this robust growth, fragrance, color, butterfly feast, and ant retreat starts life as a seed no larger than a
particle of dust.
The third constraint is environment. Whatever I choose to plant, I could not permit myself to further
strain the limited natural resources, especially a limited water supply. Gardening thus becomes a matter of
what we manifest when we have the time, the money, and the natural resources. From then on, the three
constraints dictated my growing style every bit as much as my love for blue flowers.
Another year passed. Ornamental fruit trees were the next season’s great discovery. Because
ornamentals feed the eye and not the stomach, the nonutilitarian “idea” of them seemed disdainful or my
deeply ingrained obeisance to the great American work ethic. In the process of discovering them, I also
recognized that apple pie is the yardstick by which we measure traditional American values because apple
trees themselves are such halcyon edproducers. But one day, mostly in response to a ridiculously low price, I
responded to a local nursery offering Prunus (Japanese cherries) and Malus (crab apple) species. They now
flourish along the rim of my pond like a line of prima ballerinas whose outstanding virtues include striking red
bud color followed by profuse pink flower production, interesting bark texture, and an unusual reddish-green
leaf color in summer and fall. The waxy yellow crab apples that hang from the bare limbs of the Brandywine
crab apple have long since become one of the high-lights of my winter garden. Crab apples also meet the
demands of the third constraint. They never need extra watering no matter how hot and dry the summer
gets.
Inexpensive ornamentals unveil a hidden bonus of the second constraint, finances. Because shrubs
and trees cost so much, what better reason to study up on all those mysterious crafts utilized by the nursery
trade? In fact, learning how to propagate all manner of plants through layering and grafting need not be any
more difficult to master than learning to tile a bathroom or setting up a computer database.
Two years ago I received the wonderful gift of a beautiful and relatively expensive mock orange
cultivar. I immediately scraped a bit of bark off the soil side of six branch nodules and dropped those branches
(still attached to the mother plant) under the dirt with a rock on top to keep them down. Twelve weeks later I
had rooted six additional mock oranges. I cut the branches just above the roots and a year later had
succeeded at naturalizing mock oranges all over this land. No doubt due to the origination of its wild ancestor
in central Oregon, all those naturalized plants now seem much happier in their untended, unamended dirt
than the original did in its rich bed of topsoil with weekly watering. Like buddleias, mock oranges are now
among the most appreciated gifts I give to others.
Or another easy gift: start lilacs by planting the seed heads gathered from an existing plant. Like
buddleias, lilac seeds are no more difficult to germinate than radishes. However, quite unlike radishes, the
plants may take seven or eight years to grow large enough to reach flowering size. Then again, any such
intimation of the tortoise timetable always proves to be an important gift on its own behalf. The slow passage
of time counted from the yearly growth of shrubs and trees pays homage to the fact that the giver knows the
recipient is home.
I cannot leave this quirky education from my garden without mentioning the conifers—the cone
bearers—a class of tree that has taken me nearly eight years to learn “how to” admire. The reason for that
insensitivity relates directly to place. My knoll is surrounded by a thick second-growth forest composed
predominantly of conifers. Planting conifers directly into the knoll’s terraced beds seemed too much like
carrying coals to Newcastle.
The change in my attitude came in a flash. I was at a nursery, being shown the location of a shrub,
when the proprietor stopped to admire the beauty of a Boulevard cypress just then in the process of opening
new needles. This is a slow growing columnar-shaped conifer of the Chamaecyparis genus that may
eventually grow to fifteen feet high and six feet wide. Its bark is a deep red-brown, which provides a striking
contrast to the thick, silvery-blue needles that seem to corkscrew like a Shirley Temple hairdo. “I’ve never
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appreciated conifers,” I remarked to the salesman. He looked me over as if I had just announced that I’ve
never appreciated love or beauty, and commented, “I look at conifers as the fur and feather bearers of the
plant world. Very sensual stuff.”
A customer soon pulled the salesman away, leaving me to wander the aisles on my own. I ended up
in the conifer section. Rubbing my palm against the soft bristles of an arborvitae, the feathery plumage of an
incense cedar, the hedgehog prickliness of a blue spruce, and the downy softness of an Austrian pine, I was
suddenly transformed into a true believer.
I purchased two tine Boulevard cypresses, two Elwood cypresses, two blue-green Irish junipers, a
yellow-ochre-colored Rheingold arborvitae, a spidery-branched golden conifer known as a thujopsis, and the
fateful sequoia that soon got planted into a one-tree garden. The next two are more rounded and squat and
seem lit up from inside when spied from a distance. The sequoia is of course, an ambassador to future
generations.
As both my garden and I enter middle age, the established beds seem ever more capable of taking
care of themselves. I have tried many different gardening fashions, committed several monumental planting
blunders, and felt compelled to try more categories of plants than either this limited history or the soil is able
to nurture. I now find myself looking away from the actual plants and toward the landscape as a unity,
although I am also convinced that this projected sense of unity is as much a matter of self-deception—smoke
and mirrors—as it is the result of sophisticated planting technique. For example, every place my bedrock knoll
drops off toward forest or pond offers a natural cascade of rock outcroppings, moss, lichen, sedum, and
wildflowers. A rock gardener in the Japanese style might spend an entire lifetime trying to emulate what
those cliffs gather to themselves naturally. But whereas I once considered the cliffs to be “wild,” meaning
outside my gardening domain, a slight shift in perception now lets me regard them as exemplars of the wellintegrated
garden. Yet I have planted nothing on those cliffs besides a few scattered hen-and-chickens. Any
more tampering would simply cause one or another of the three constraints (time, money, or resources) to
rear its ugly head.
This sensibility for wild areas is an example of the Findhorn (4) notion of always leaving one area in a
garden as a natural sanctuary. Consider it safe ground, sacred ground, and an homage to the biota that
preceded the garden. Garden ecologist Forest Shomer asserts that the sanctuary “represents the mystery or
unconscious from which non-mental possibilities can emerge and is the resting place of the nature spirits and
elementals who don’t often take up residence in the control areas of the garden.”(5)
This perception of a wild area harmonizing with the cultivated garden now seems the next direction
to explore. It also implies its opposite—that the cultivated garden is capable of being perceived as an
integrated extension of the wild environment. In such a manner, the garden offers a heightened perception of
nature in microcosm.
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Reading & Writing Project for The Botany of Desire by Michael Pollan
Parts One through Four: Read each section assigned below—and, as you do so, take note of
three passages that you feel are especially interesting (a minimum of several sentences each)
and then, after you have finished reading, do a free write about your thoughts for why they are
significant. Please note that a free write is simply the process of writing whatever comes to your
mind. Your writing should not follow any formal format (no introduction, thesis, conclusion,
etc.). Simply write whatever comes to your mind. Please do pay attention to your sentence
structure and make sure that you proofread.
Each assignment should be a minimum of one to two full pages of double-spaced writing.
Upload these to Canvas. Check Canvas for Due Dates. Completed / Incomplete
Part One  Introduction: The Human Bumblebee & Chapter One – Check Canvas for Due Date
Part Two  Desire: Beauty / Plant: The Tulip – Check Canvas for Due Date
Part Three  Desire: Intoxication / Plant: Marijuana – Check Canvas for Due Date
Part Four  Desire: Control / Plant: The Potato – Check Canvas for Due Date
Part Five: Now that you have finished reading the book, do a free write in which you explain
how the book has changed your view about our relationship with nature and the desires some
of its plants can fulfill. Make sure that you address each of the desires and Pollan’s overall thesis
that there is an unconscious relationship between certain plants and the desires that they fulfill.
Even if you feel it has not changed anything, explain a minimum of several things that made you
think differently about your relationship with nature. (Hint: you may use some of the writing
from part one to compete this). This should be a minimum of three full pages, double spaced. It
can most certainly be longer. Upload to Canvas. Worth 25pts.
Please Note: in order to be eligible to write and upload
part five you must complete parts one through four. No
Exceptions.
Check Canvas for Due Dates
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English 1A – Group Presentation Due: See Canvas 25 points
Background: In his book, The Botany of Desire, Michael Pollan suggests that our selective tastes for certain plants can
be best understood in terms of our co-evolution with those plants. In other words, humans, for various reasons, have
favored certain plants and through cross breeding and careful cultivation have virtually assured that plant a long life
on the evolutionary ladder. According to Pollan, we manipulate the tulip because we are obsessed with beauty and
form, the apple because we crave the relief and pleasure of sweetness, marijuana because we seek, at different times,
the opportunity to both dull and heighten our senses, and, finally, the potato because it is in our nature to control by
playing the role of creator. As perfect as Pollan’s examples may be, it is difficult, as one reads this book, not to
consider other plants that could just as easily fit into his categories of sweetness, beauty, intoxication, and control.
• Sweetness: What about the strawberry? Not only is the strawberry sweet, but it also often represents a
desire for the erotic, which, for many of us, is a desire that can be never satiated. Dip a strawberry into
chocolate (another candidate for this project) and you have a combination of the erotic and a temporary
band-aid for the despair of loneliness. Possibilities: strawberries, sugar cane, cocoa bean (but must be
mixed with sugar), and cherries.
• Beauty: As popular as the tulip is, what about the rose? The rose fills our senses with its intoxicating swirls
of beauty, its rich smell (extended into perfumes and lotions and oils), velvety touch, rich colors, and syrupy
taste (rose tea). Possibilities: roses, orchids, dahlias, cacti.
• Intoxication: Man has cultivated the grape for wine and hops for beer as far back as Egyptian times— and,
while wine and beer may be legal, and, therefore, less taboo than marijuana, wine and beer have been
inextricably tied to many cultures for thousands and thousands of years. Possibilities: grapes (for wine),
poppies (opium), coffee plant (caffeine), coca plant (cocaine), tobacco (nicotine).
• Control: Both wheat and rice are agricultural staples that many companies have sought to create new
genetic strains for, some even produce seeds that cannot reproduce new crops, so the grower has to buy
more seed from the seed manufacturer (and not get it from “Mother Earth” for free). Possibilities: wheat,
rice, corn, soy.
The Task: For your group presentation, using Pollan’s book as a model, choose a plant that you, as a group, feel
humankind has cultivated to fulfill one of Pollan’s categories. Your presentation will need to consider (a) why we
favor this plant and (b) what its biology, cultural history, and cultural identity in our present-day society reveals about
our connections to it. Your overall presentation must reflect how this plant fulfills our desire for beauty, sweetness,
intoxication or control. If it does not, your presentation will not be successful.
Due for the Class Meeting of Your Presentation: Summary and Annotated Bibliography
Actual Presentation: 20-25-minute group presentation (do not exceed the time limit). 15 points
Annotated Bibliography: a properly formatted, formal Annotated Bibliography with correctly formatted MLA
citations and summaries. 10pts
Please provide a typed handout for me that includes each group member’s name and what he or she contributed.
 The Process: In order to complete all this work in a timely and organized fashion, you will need to communicate as
a group (some in-class time will be provided). How you choose to disseminate the work and what you choose to
present is entirely up to you. Because some students tend to be difficult to motivate, you need to let me know who
these people are so that I can speak with them about the importance of the project if they are not contributing. Each
member will be graded individually so that those who do not do the work will not jeopardize the grades of those who
do complete the work.
 The Research: For this presentation to be successful, you will need to research the plant’s biological and cultural
history and its commercial uses. In other words, find out as much about the plant as you can. Each member of the
group is responsible for a minimum of three unique sources. So, for example, if there are five members in the group,
the group is responsible for a total of 15 unique sources.
 Important Notes
(1) You must be present to give the presentation
(2) Each member of the group will be graded individually.
(3) You must turn in (a) the summary (see above) and (b) the properly MLA formatted Annotated Bibliography (4) Your
presentation cannot go over the 25-minute time limit.
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Introduction to Sentence Combining – Sentence Patterns
Sentence Pattern One = Subject (S) + Intransitive Verb (IV) + [adverbial “stuff”]
Intransitive Verb = actions verbs that do not have a direct object
S IV prepositional phrase prep phrase prep phrase
Emerson writes  [about his deep connection] [with God] ][through solitude and nature].
Sentence Pattern Two
(a) Subject + Linking Verb (LV) + Noun Complement (NC)
(b) Subject + Linking Verb (LV) + Adjective Complement (AC)
Linking Verb = Non-action verbs that link the subject to either a noun or an adjective
S LV NC
a. Emerson was a transcendentalist.
S LV AC prep phrase prep phrase prep phrase
b. Emerson is well-known [for his thoughts] [about the many connections] [between reason and faith].
Sentence Pattern Three = Subject + Transitive Verb (TV) + Direct Object (DO)
Transitive Verb = action verbs that have a direct object
S prep phrase prep phrase TV DO
Emerson, [in the solitude] [of his nature walks], experiences a poetic moment.
Sentence Pattern Four = Subject + Transitive Verb (TV) + Indirect Object (IO) + Direct Object (DO)
prep phrase S TV IO DO prep phrase prep phrase prep
phrase
[In that moment], he shows his readers his “perfect exhilaration” (7) [for the beauty] [of twilight] [on a
winter night].
Sentence Pattern Five = Subject + Transitive Verb (TV) + Direct Object (DO) + Objective Complement
(OC)
The objective complement can either be a noun (which renames the direct object) or an adjective (which modifies the direct
object)
prep phrase S TV D0 #1 DO #2 OC (adjective)
(a) [After a first reading], many readers find Emerson and his writings confusing.
(to be)
S TV DO OC (noun) prep phrase
(b) Many modern nature writers consider Emerson a deep influence.
to be
Here are five sentences: See if you can find the sentence patterns. Underline the words that form the
sentence pattern.
S IV prep phrase prep phrase prep phrase
The bird flew [over the house] [in the quiet neighborhood] [near the sea]. Sentence Pattern One
1. The author throughout his essay offers his readers a myriad of metaphors and similes.
2. The main protagonist, for the first part of the novel, is a young woman in her first year of high school.
3. However, the other researchers found the results suspicious.
4. The young scientist from UC Berkeley argued about the scope of the tests.
5. The author provided a number of examples as proof for the inefficiency of the tests.
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Sentence Pattern Variations
Passive Voice: the passive voice, though most writers do not realize it, is a variation of patterns three,
four and five. In general, you form it by (1) taking the direct object of the sentence and placing it in the
subject slot, (2) placing the subject in a prepositional phrase that begins with “by,” and (3) changing the
verb to a past participle with a “to be verb” (is, was, are, am, were). Writers always have the option to
remove that prepositional phrase if they wish (and many writers, consciously or unconsciously, choose
to do so). Pattern four is a little different [see below]. Keep in mind that most passive constructions
tend to be a variation on pattern three (because we only use patterns four and five in certain
conditions).
passive verb construction (PVC)
Pattern Three Passive Variation: S + TV + DO  DO + (“To Be Verb” & Past Participle) + S in “By” Prep
Phrase
Active Voice: Emerson, in the solitude of his nature walks, experiences a poetic moment.
Passive Voice: A poetic moment is experienced by Emerson in the solitude of his nature walks. (“by”
prep phrase can be deleted)
Pattern Four Passive Variation: S + TV + IO + DO  (a) DO + PVC + IO in “to” prep phrase + S in “By”
Prep Phrase OR
(b) IO + PVC + DO + S in “By” Prep Phrase
Active Voice: Emerson shows his readers his “perfect exhilaration” (7) for the beauty of twilight.
Passive Voice (Version a): His “perfect exhilaration” (7) is shown to his readers by Emerson.
Passive Voice (Version b): His readers are shown his “perfect exhilaration” (7) for the beauty of twilight
by Emerson.
Pattern Five Passive Variation: S + TV + DO + OC  DO + PVC + OC + S in “By” Prep Phrase
Active Voice: Many modern nature writers consider Emerson a deep influence.
Passive Voice: Emerson is considered a deep influence by many modern nature writers.
——————————————————————————————————————————————
——–
Delayed Subject
We often use the following sentence structure when we speak or write:
There is a lot of discussion by many writers about the influence of Emerson’s writings on modern
environmentalism.
This is a particularly interesting structure. For one, it sounds very conversational in writing (which you
want to do sparingly if ever at all). Second, this structure delays the “real” subject of the sentence or
buries it somewhere else in the sentence. Third, “there” is an empty word to use in the “subject” slot.
There is states that “something” exists. Keep in mind that patterns one through five are much more
focused than this (and, in fact, pattern three would be a better choice to cast this sentence).
S TV DO prep phrase prep
phrase
Over the years, many writers have discussed the influence [of Emerson’s writings] [on modern
environmentalism].
Convert these “active voice” sentences to the “passive voice.”
The writer presented his arguments carefully.
The writer offered his readers a different view of the argument about the need for a change.
Convert these “passive voice” sentences to the “active voice.”
The students were given a new perspective on the purpose of their education by their teacher.
Prohibition was repealed in 1933.
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Clauses and Phrases
Clauses: a clause is a group of words that contains a subject and a verb
(1) Independent Clause = a group of words that contains a subject and a verb that can stand alone
Every single sentence must contain at least one independent clause. You can combine independent clauses by
using “joining” words:
Coordinating Conjunctions (FANBOYS):
Many readers find Emerson and his writings confusing, but many writers consider him a deep influence.
Transition Words (Conjunctive Adverbs and Transitional Phrases)
Many readers find Emerson and his writings confusing; however, many writers consider him a deep
influence.
(2) Dependent Clause = a group of words that contains a subject and a verb that cannot stand alone (must be added to
a independent clause)
Every independent clause can be converted into a dependent clause
(a) add a subordinating conjunction to form a subordinate clause 
While + many readers find Emerson and his writings confusing, [many writers consider him a deep influence].
(b) convert a noun (most often the subject) to a relative pronoun to form an adjective clause
Emerson  who, in the solitude of his nature walks, experiences a poetic moment.
Emerson, who, in the solitude of his nature walks, experiences a poetic moment, was a well-known
transcendentalist.
(c) add a relative pronoun to an independent clause and use it as a noun in the sentence to form a noun clause
That + Emerson is experiencing a poetic moment
That Emerson is experiencing a poetic moment [is essential to understanding the “transparent eyeball”
passage].
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Phrases: a phrase is a group of words that is missing a subject, a verb, or both
To form a phrase from a clause, you can remove the subject, the verb, or both.
(a) remove the subject to form a verb phrase (cannot be done with a pattern two sentence)
Emerson writes about his deep connection with God through solitude and nature
(b) Remove a verb or transform an action verb into a verbal to form an absolute phrase
Emerson writes writing about his deep connection with God through solitude and nature
(c) Drop the subject and convert an action verb into a verbal to form a verbal phrase
Emerson writes writing about his deep connection with God through solitude and nature
(d) In pattern two sentences that have a noun complement, drop the subject and the “to be” verb to form a
noun
phrase appositive
Emerson was a transcendentalist who often wrote about a mystical-like connection with nature.
——————————————————————————————————————————————————–
—–
(e) prepositional phrases are groups of words that have no subject or verb and modify either nouns or verbs
Emerson writes [about his deep connection] [with God] ][through solitude and nature].
modifies verb “writes” both of these prep phrases modify the noun “connection”
(f) There are a variety of verbal phrases (which have no subject or verb and function in various ways).
Taking a quiet hike in nature provides an excellent way to release much of the stress in our daily lives.
Dedicated to a variety of causes, the non-profit company seeks to change the ways we take responsibility
for
our planet.
Underline the independent clauses and place parentheses around the dependent clause and brackets
around the phrases.
William, [after finishing several years [of college]], moved [to the coast] [of Oregon], (where he found a
low-paying job [as a cranberry harvester]); however, he enjoyed every single day [of his job] and never
regretted his choice.
After considering a variety of options, the doctor, who was well-known in the community for his
generosity, finally decided to retire before he felt too exhausted from the many years of patients and
problems.
The young senator, a fundamentalist from the state of Virginia, voted against the bill for equal rights
because he did not understand the need for equal pay since, in his opinion, women belonged in the
kitchen and not in the workplace.
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Sentence Focus
Which of these two options sounds clearer to you?
Option One
There is a negative false reputation that wolves suffer, and a misunderstanding of the wolf amongst
many people. Contrary to the popular belief that many people in the world believe, the main reality
of this situation is that humans are rarely if ever even attacked. In reality, nature is served by the
tracking down and eliminating of the weak and sick animals of other species. Although a robbery of
some prized chickens of a farmer will occasionally be committed, the tendency of the wolf is usually
to stay far from man, prowling the prairies and forests for his prey. Subsistence of these animals, in
fact, is usually based on a diet of mice. While the general belief is that the silence of the night is
fractured by the wolf’s piercing cries, there is blame falling on the wolf that actually is derived by his
cousin, the coyote.
Option Two
The wolf, who often suffers a negative and false reputation, is misunderstood by many people.
Contrary to popular belief, they rarely attack humans; in fact, they serve nature by tracking down
and eliminating the weak and sick animals of other species. Although they will occasionally rob
farmers of prized chickens, wolves usually tend to stay far away from humans, prowling the prairies
and forests for their prey. In fact, they primarily subsist on a diet of mice. While many also believe
the wolf fractures the silence of the night with its piercing cries, the wolf’s cousin, the coyote,
deserves the blame.
————————————————————————————————————————————
Sentence focus is not about grammatical error or making mistakes in your writing. Instead,
Sentence Focus “focuses” on the choices you make when you craft your clauses. Remember, a
clause is a group of words that contains a subject and a verb—and, by extension, Sentence Focus is
about choosing the best possible subject and verb for your clauses.
Here are the Seven Areas of Sentence Focus to Consider:
(1) Make what You are Writing About the Subject of Your Sentence
(2) Choose concrete subjects, avoid empty abstract subjects
(3) Don’t Rely on / Over Use the Passive Voice
(4) Don’t Rely on / Over Use the “There are” / “It is” Constructions
(5) Favor Active Verbs / Don’t over rely on “to be verb”
(6) Prune Out Unnecessary Clutter
(7) Don’t Bury the Subject of What You are writing about in an Introductory Phrase
Note: Do not worry about these issues when you are writing your essay. Think about them when
you go back and proofread.
All the sentences below state the same basic observation. Underline the one you think sounds the
most focused.
• Thoreau explains his connection to nature and solitude in his book Walden.
• The idea of a connection to nature and solitude is what Thoreau explains in his book Walden.
• His connection to nature and solitude is what Thoreau explains in his book Walden.
• His connections to nature are explained in his book Walden.
• There are connections to nature and solitude that Thoreau explains in his book Walden.
• It is in his book Walden that Thoreau explains his connection to nature and solitude.
• Thoreau’s explanation about his connection to nature and solitude is in his book Walden.
• The fact that he connects to nature and solitude is the main idea of what Thoreau writes about
in the book he wrote called Walden.
• In Thoreau’s book called Walden, his connection to nature and solitude is explained.
• In Thoreau’s book Walden, there are explanations that he gives about his connection to nature
and solitude.
S TV DO prepositional phrases
The most focused of these is: Thoreau explains his connection [to nature and solitude} [in his book
Walden].
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Examples of the Seven Areas of Sentence Focus to Consider – And How to Make Them More Focused
(1) Make what You are Writing About the Subject of Your Sentence
Unfocused: The idea of a connection to nature and solitude is what Thoreau explains in his book
Walden.
Unfocused: His connection to nature and solitude is what Thoreau explains in his book Walden.
Focused: Thoreau explains his connection to nature and solitude in his book Walden.
(2) Choose concrete subjects, avoid empty abstract subjects
Unfocused: One of the main things that Thoreau explains in his book Walden is his connection to
nature and solitude.
Focused: Thoreau explains his connection to nature and solitude in his book Walden.
(3) Don’t Rely on / Over Use the Passive Voice
Unfocused: His connections to nature are explained in his book Walden. the “by Thoreau” prepositional
phrase has been deleted
Focused: Thoreau explains his connection to nature and solitude in his book Walden.
(4) Don’t Rely on / Over Use the “There are” / “It is” Constructions
Unfocused: There are connections to nature and solitude that Thoreau explains in his book Walden.
Unfocused: It is in his book Walden that Thoreau explains his connection to nature and solitude.
Focused: Thoreau explains his connection to nature and solitude in his book Walden.
(5) Favor Active Verbs / Don’t over rely on “to be verb”
Unfocused: Thoreau’s explanation about his connection to nature and solitude is in his book
Walden.
Focused: Thoreau explains his connection to nature and solitude in his book Walden.
(6) Prune Out Unnecessary Clutter
Unfocused: The fact that he connects to nature and solitude is the main idea of what Thoreau writes
about in the book he wrote called Walden.
Focused: Thoreau explains his connection to nature and solitude in his book Walden.
(7) Don’t Bury the Subject of What You are writing about in an Introductory Phrase
Unfocused: In Thoreau’s book called Walden, his connection to nature and solitude is explained [by
Thoreau].
Unfocused: In Thoreau’s book Walden, there are explanations that he gives about his connection to
nature and solitude.
Focused: Thoreau explains his connection to nature and solitude in his book Walden.
Think about the choices you make when you want to discuss a series of connected “things”:
Not Focused: One of the main things that Thoreau explains in his book Walden is his connection to
nature and solitude. Another thing he explains in the book is his appreciation for the value of selfreliance.
Two more things that he thinks are important are spiritual discovery and independence.
In his book Walden, Thoreau explains his connection to nature and solitude.
Second, he explains his appreciation for the value of self-reliance. OR He also explains his
appreciation for the value of self-reliance
Third, He explores the importance of spiritual discovery. OR Additionally, he explores the
importance of spiritual discovery.
In his book Walden, Thoreau explains his connection to nature and solitude as well as his
appreciation of the value of self-reliance and the importance of spiritual discovery.
First and foremost, Thoreau, in his book Walden, explains his connection to nature and solitude, but
he also explores his appreciation for the value of self-reliance and the importance of spiritual
discovery.
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Exercise Sheet – Clauses, Phrases and Sentence Focus
Part One: Underline the independent clauses, place brackets around the dependent clauses, and place parentheses
around the phrases. Write an S above all the subjects and a V above all the verbs.
S V
1. (In the hopes of expressing her vision,) the gardener shapes the design ‘of her garden (according to her
aesthetic wishes.)
2. The gardener removes weeds, prunes branches, and deadheads old flowers because she wants to preserve her
design.
3. Michael Pollan finally chooses to build a fence because he wants to build a “middle ground between nature and
culture” (7).
4. Gardening is back breaking work.
5. Garden styles have been developed by many cultures over the years.
6. The idea of seeing, really seeing, is pondered by Annie Dillard in her book The Pilgrim at Tinker Creek.
7. If you feel the garden must be protected at all costs, there is reason to understand why you might want to kill
it, but regret will be experienced when you see its dead, furry face.
8. Garden styles have been developed by many cultures over the years.
9. The question of what makes a garden is pondered by many who decide to begin such an endeavor.
10. The worry that Adam and Eve might eat from the Tree of Life is the cause for why God throws them out of the
Garden of Eden.
Part Two: Figure out what you think the sentence focus issue(s) is/are and then focus/fix the following clauses.
1. Garden styles have been developed by many cultures over the years.
Focus Issue- Don’t Overuse Passive // Focused sentence – Many cultures have developed garden styles over the years
2. Gardening is back breaking work.
3. The idea of seeing, really seeing, is pondered by Annie Dillard in her book Pilgrim at Tinker Creek.
4. If you feel the garden must be protected at all costs, there is reason to understand why you might want to
kill it, but regret will be experienced when you see its dead, furry face.
5. The question of what makes a garden is pondered by many who decide to begin such an endeavor.
6. The worry that Adam and Eve might eat from the Tree of Life is the cause for why God throws them out of
the Garden of Eden.
7. We garden for many reasons, but one of the many reasons why we garden is because we are hoping that
the forces of nature will be controlled by our desire to craft them into our unique vision.
8. A second reason why we toil so hard in the garden is because the yield of beautiful flowers brings us great
satisfaction.
9. At the Home Depot Garden Center, there are many different varieties of flowers to choose from.
10. The idea behind why we might choose to create a Zen Garden is that the curves of nature are expressed in
the shapes made in the sand
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Sentence Combining Review – Part One
Coordinating Conjunctions, Conjunctive Adverbs & Transitional Phrases, Subordinating Conjunctions
and Run Together Sentences
Coordination is the linking of two syntactically equal units, such as independent clauses. We
coordinate independent clauses by using either (a) coordinating conjunctions or (b) conjunctive
adverbs and transitional phrases/expressions. When we use these individual words or short
phrases to combine independent clauses, we create an equal logical relationship between the
information/ideas in the clauses that we are combining (and the exact relationship is determined
by the word we choose).
A. Coordinating conjunctions join independent clauses and create a logical relationship between the ideas in those clauses.
Many students, in order to memorize them, also know them as FANBOYS.
For (cause and result): I planted the seeds in even rows, for I wanted a very linear garden design.
And (addition): I watered the plants, and my father pruned the bushes.
Nor (addition of negative statements): I did not bother to water the plants, nor did I bother to weed the garden.
But (opposition/contrast): I considered planting a Zen garden, but I really wanted a garden filled with colorful flowers.
Or (alternatives): One can plant the flowers in organized rows, or one can freely disseminate seeds in random patterns.
Yet (opposition/contrast): Roses produce gorgeous, odiferous flowers, yet they also easily succumb to fungal diseases.
So (cause/result): Raul wanted to attract hummingbirds and butterflies into his garden, so he planted a row of salvia.
Punctuation
Note that in each of the previous sentences, I placed a comma after the first independent clause, followed by the
coordinating conjunction and then the second independent clause. The rule is: when you combine two independent
clauses with a coordinating conjunction, you need to use a comma (which you place after the first independent clause and
before the coordinating conjunction).
IC 1 + comma + coord. Conj. + IC 2
Raul wanted to attract hummingbirds and butterflies into his garden, so he planted a row of delphiniums.
Exception to the rule: when the two clauses are fairly short, some writers choose to omit the comma:
Mary planted her roses and Bill fertilized them.
ABOY: It is also worth noting that four of these conjunctions— and, but, or, yet— are also used to join any like grammatical
unit (nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, phrases, clauses). Keeping this in mind, let’s take a closer look at a few of the
sentences from above:
(a) I considered planting a Zen garden, but I really wanted a garden filled with colorful flowers.
(b)One can arrange the flowers in organized rows, or one can freely plant seeds in random patterns.
(c) Roses produce gorgeous, odiferous flowers, yet they also succumb to fungal diseases like botrytis.
For each one of these sentences, the independent clauses share the same subject and can be reduced. Keep in mind that—
since you are no longer combining independent clauses when you drop the subject in the second clause— you no longer
use the comma (you’re actually combining verb phrases—which I have underlined in the examples below).
(a) I considered planting a Zen garden but really wanted a garden filled with colorful flowers.
(b)One can arrange the flowers in organized rows or freely plant seeds in random patterns.
(c) Roses produce gorgeous, odiferous flowers yet also succumb to fungal diseases like botrytis.
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B. Conjunctive adverbs and Transitional Phrases also join independent clauses and provide a logical relationship between
the ideas in each independent clause, but they do not have the grammatical power to join independent clauses (so we use
a semi colon whenever we use them to combine independent clauses). Conjunctive adverbs and transitional phrases
function in the same exact fashion. The only significant difference between these two is that conjunctive adverbs are single
words (however, therefore, etc) and transitional phrases are made up of two or more words (in other words, on the other
hand). They also function as transition words, providing more than just a logical connection between clauses. They help
to move your ideas forward from one sentence to the next. Here is a list of some of the more common ones as well as the
relationships that they provide:
——————————————————————————————————————————————————————–
Furthermore, also, moreover, in addition= and
Historians trace the first gardens back to ancient Babylonian times; moreover, we follow their same attention to symmetry
today.
——————————————————————————————————————————————————————–
However,*nevertheless,*nonetheless, still, at the same time= but
Free form gardens are planted by randomly disseminating seeds; however, even that randomness takes a bit of planning.
* Please note that nonetheless and nevertheless are each one word—and not none the less or never the less.
——————————————————————————————————————————————————————–
*Therefore, consequently, hence, thus, as a result= so
Gardens require many hours of back breaking work; consequently, many give up on their gardens soon after they plant
them.
*If you are going to use therefore, you need to make sure that whatever conclusion you draw from the first clause, can be
supported by the second clause. For example:
Gardens provide many rewards; therefore, everyone should be required to have one.
In this example, the first independent clause does not support the second. Even if you provided much more information
about what those rewards are, you can’t really justify the conclusion that everyone should be required to have one.
——————————————————————————————————————————————————————–
Instead = in place of
Many Americans do not want to take the time to maintain a garden; instead, they plant a lawn, thinking it requires less
maintenance.
——————————————————————————————————————————————————————–
On the contrary = in opposition to what has been stated
Many Americans plant a lawn, thinking that it requires a lot less work; on the contrary, lawns also take many hours of
maintenance.
——————————————————————————————————————————————————————–
* On the other hand = another point of view
Gardens provide much pleasure and satisfaction; on the other hand, many would-be-gardeners quickly lose interest.
*Whenever you use on the other hand, you need to make sure that you have previously discussed something that could be
on the one hand. In other words, these two transitional phrases form a visual of comparing something on the one hand to
something on the other hand.
On the one hand, gardens can provide much satisfaction and pleasure. On the other hand, many would-be-gardeners lose interest
soon after they realize how much work it actually requires.
You don’t always have to provide a clause with on the one hand, but you need to make sure that you, at the very least,
provide a clause that could be placed on the one hand. However, if you do provide a clause that places something on the
one hand, you need to make sure that you provide something that can be placed on the other hand. Finally, make sure
that you don’t accidentally write— on the hand— which will imply that whatever you are discussing is located on your
hand.
——————————————————————————————————————————————————————–
Meanwhile, at the same time = happening simultaneously
Chemical pesticides are a fairly effective tool for controlling pests; at the same time, they pose a variety of health risks.
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For example, for instance = in illustration
Many gardens showcase the amazing variety of a particular flower; for example, many gardeners choose to cultivate
various roses.
——————————————————————————————————————————————————————–
In fact, as a matter of fact = certainly, without a doubt, actually
Americans spend million of dollars on plants that die soon after they purchase them; as a matter of fact, one might argue
that the gardening industry is as much about death as it is about life.
——————————————————————————————————————————————————————–
After all = everything else having been considered, ultimately
Many Americans let their lawns fall into disrepair; after all, who really wants to mow a lawn once a week?
——————————————————————————————————————————————————————–
Similarly = in a like manner
Roses are often rich in color, texture and odor; similarly, orchids offer a wide variety of colorful hues, shapes and smells.
——————————————————————————————————————————————————————–
*In other words = clarification and restatement
Gardens are, in a sense, a futile effort to control nature; in other words, any attempt to shape a garden only lasts as long as
you are willing to put in the work to maintain that shape.
*In other words is particularly useful for offering an illustration about a quotation.
Example: Michael Pollan writes that gardening is “a middle ground between culture and nature”; in other words, gardening finds it
roots, its meaning, in both how we perceive nature and how we have learned, culturally, to shape it (53).
——————————————————————————————————————————————————————–
Then, next, subsequently, finally = following that
Many Americans don’t want to put in the necessary work to maintain a garden; subsequently, the garden soon loses its
shape.
Some other common conjunctive adverbs and transitional phrases (there are many more in addition to these): First,
second, third, unquestionably, accordingly, namely, still, anyway, besides, incidentally, next, thereafter, certainly, indeed,
now, likewise, otherwise, undoubtedly, balanced against, although this may be true, for the same reason, in any case, once
in a while, in spite of, in this case, in another case, on this occasion, in this situation, take the case of, to demonstrate, to
illustrate, as an illustration, to illustrate, without a doubt
Punctuation
Conjunctive adverbs and transitional phrases do not have the grammatical power to combine sentences, so you need to use
a semi colon whenever you use them to join two independent clauses together. If you look at the examples above, you will
notice that we place the semi colon after the first independent clause, then the conjunctive adverb or transitional phrase,
and then a comma after the conjunctive adverb or transitional phrase (and then the second independent clause follows):
IC 1 + semi colon + ca/tp + comma + IC 2
Free form gardens are planted by randomly disseminating seeds; however, even that randomness takes a bit of planning.
We also need to take note of the fact that you can move conjunctive adverbs and transitional phrases around in the clause.
If you do this, and you are still combining the clauses, then you must keep the semi colon in place and surround the
conjunctive adverb or transitional phrase with commas (or if you place it at end of the clause, use a comma and then a
period to end the sentence).
Free form gardens are planted by randomly disseminating seeds; even that randomness, however, takes a bit of planning.
Free form gardens are planted by randomly disseminating seeds; even that randomness takes a bit of planning, however.
You also, of course, have the option of choosing two separate independent clauses:
Free form gardens are planted by randomly disseminating seeds. However, even that randomness takes a bit of planning
Free form gardens are planted by randomly disseminating seeds. Even that randomness, however, takes a bit of planning.
Free form gardens are planted by randomly disseminating seeds. Even that randomness takes a bit of planning, however.
One might argue, however, that since the relationship between the ideas in each clause is still present, the stronger choice
is to combine them with the semi colon. The choice, of course, is yours.
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Subordination is the process we use to combine two clauses of unequal importance. Unlike
coordination, which shows an equal relationship between the ideas in the combined
independent clauses, subordination combines a dependent clause with an independent clause
and shows an unequal relationship.
Subordinating Conjunctions: When you place a subordinating conjunction in front of an independent clause, that clause (a)
becomes dependent and (b) receives less emphasis than the independent clause that you are combining it with.
DC + IC
Because many would-be-gardeners do not want to put in the necessary effort, they let their gardens grow wild.
Note that this sentence begins with a dependent clause— because many would-be-gardeners do not want to put in the
necessary effort— and is followed by an independent clause— they let their gardens grow wild. You form the dependent
clause by placing the subordinating conjunction because in front of the independent clause many would-be-gardeners do
not want to put in the necessary effort. Here are some common subordinating conjunctions and the relationship they offer
you as a writer (at best, this is a short list):
Although, though, even though = concession
Even though gardening requires a lot of time and effort, many gardeners feel that it is more than worth all the hard work.
Whereas, while = contrast/opposition
While many gardeners plant showy displays of color, many others choose, instead, to grow vegetables and fruit to eat.
When, as = time (at the same time)
When May finally arrives, bulbs such as tulips, daffodils, crocuses, and paperweights begin to emerge from the ground.
After, before = time (not at the same time)
Before you plant flowers in a garden filled with rocky, clay soil, you must amend it with nutrients.
Whenever = time (every time)
Whenever you plant flowers, you must first break up the root ball.
If, provided, as long as = conditional
Many Americans will only plant a garden if they can afford to pay someone to take care of it.
Even if = in spite of the fact that
Many Americans will let their gardens die even if they spent hundreds of dollars on it.
Because, since = cause and effect
Many Americans pave over the backyard because they do not want to bother trying to maintain a garden or a lawn.
Until = time (up to the time of)
Until you prune those rose bushes, they will remain gangly and unattractive.
Unless = exception
Most camellias, rhododendrons, and azaleas will not thrive unless you choose an acidic soil.
So that = in order to
Many Americans plant a lawn in their front yard so that their children can have a place to play.
More Subordinating Conjunctions (look up their meanings in the dictionary before you use them): as long as, as much as,
as soon as, if only, if when, if then, inasmuch, in order that, just as, lest, now, now since, now that, now when, once,
provided that, rather than, supposing, than, where if, wherever, whether
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Punctuation
Whether you use a comma to separate the independent clause and the dependent clause depends on which of the clauses
comes first. If you begin your sentence with the dependent clause (or subordinate clause as they are often called), then
you must use a comma after the dependent clause and before the independent clause. If the dependent clause comes
after the independent clause, then you do not use a comma:
Sub. Conj. + DC + comma + IC
While many gardeners plant showy displays of color, many others choose, instead, to grow vegetables and fruit to eat.
IC + DC
Most camellias, rhododendrons, and azaleas will not thrive unless you choose an acidic soil.
Concession
All subordinators deemphasize the clauses they are connected to, but the following subordinators—although, even
though, though (and to a lesser extent: while, and whereas) — show not only contrast between the clauses they join but
also concession. When someone concedes a point, they recognize that it has value, a fact that makes concessive
subordinators particularly useful for argumentative writing because they make it possible for one to both deemphasize the
importance of an opposing view and recognize that it has merit. When writing argumentatively, it is important to avoid
appearing one sided; in other words, recognizing the value of an opposing viewpoint provides depth to your argument
because it shows that you, as a writer, are aware of the complexity of the issue and have taken the time to consider the
opposition. At the same time, concessive subordinators make it possible to deemphasize that value in favor of the
strengths of your viewpoint.
Although gardening can take an incredible amount of time and effort, its rewards of satisfaction are often worth all the
struggles.
Even though using biological methods such as ladybugs are not as effective and swift as chemical options, the far safer,
less risky, use of biological pest controls is much safer for both you and the environment.
We can switch the emphasis by placing the concessive subordinators in front of the other clause:
Although its rewards of satisfaction are often worth all the struggles, gardening can take an incredible amount of time,
effort and struggle.
Even though the far safer, less risky, use of biological pest controls is much safer for both you and the environment, using
biological methods such as ladybugs are not as effective and swift as chemical options.
What You Should Take Away from this Lesson
• Use coordination (coordinating conjunctions (aka FANBOYS), conjunctive adverbs and transitional phrases) to combine
independent clauses by showing an equal logical relationship between the ideas in the clauses you are combining.
• When using the FANBOYS, use a comma between the two independent clauses (IC + , + CC + IC.).
• When using the FANBOYS, if you drop the subject of the second independent clause then drop the comma.
• You can use and, but, or, yet to join together any like grammatical structures.
• When using a conjunctive adverb or transitional phrase, use a semi colon between the two clauses (IC + ; + CA/TP + , + IC).
• You can move the IC / TP within the sentence. Keep the semi colon in place if you are combining the two clauses.
• When you use a subordinating conjunction to combine two independent clauses, two things happen to the clause you
place the subordinator in front of: (a) the clause becomes dependent (b) the clause receives less emphasis. As a result,
you create an unequal logical relationship between the ideas in the clauses you are combining.
• If the subordinate clause (SC) appears first, then use a comma (SC + , + IC.).
• If the subordinate clause appears second, do not use a comma (IC + SC).
• Concession provides an opportunity for you to recognize the value of a point of view / argument while deemphasizing it;
thus giving you the opportunity to emphasize the other idea in the independent clause.
Remember: Stop relying on a limited amount of subordinators and coordinators (most writers seem to only use and, but,
or, yet, so, because, since, even though, although, though, however and therefore). There are many other words to use
from— many of which offer very unique and valuable logical relationships that will push your writing forward.
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Sentence Combining Exercise
Combine the following sentences using coordinating conjunctions, subordinating conjunctions and conjunctive
adverbs/transitional phrases (feel free to remove unnecessary words wherever necessary). Look for more than
one way to combine them.
1. You’ve been working hard in the garden all day. Why don’t you sit down? I’ll bring you a nice cold drink.
2. You need to mow the lawn. You need to prune the shrubs. You need to water the flower beds. The garden
will surely die.
3. Many people garden. They are looking for the satisfaction that comes from getting their fingernails dirty. Few
first-time gardeners recognize how much work is actually involved.
4. John may have purchased all the plants. He hired a gardener to plant them. He hired a gardener to take care
of them.
5. Everything that Jerry grows yields beautiful, fragrant flowers and abundant fruit. Everything I plant dies
several days later. Jerry obviously has a green thumb. I think I have a brown thumb.
6. The flowers started to die. John hired a gardener. The garden has flourished ever since.
7. I planted several rows of vegetables in my garden. I read about the health benefits of growing your own food
in Mick Jagger’s book, You Can’t Always Get What You Plant (But Sometimes You Plant What You Need). I now
only eat homegrown vegetables. I feel healthier than I have for years.
8. Many gardeners suggest that you rotate the kinds of vegetables you grow each season. You are less likely to
invite unwanted insects that feed on your food.
9. Gardens cost lots of money. They require lots of time. They are very rewarding. They offer you the chance to
create your own little slice of nature.
10. The price of store bought vegetables keeps increasing. Many Americans have started their own organic
gardens. Not everyone has the space. Many Americans are taking advantage of community gardens.
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Run Together Sentences
Run Together Sentences (RTS): Many of us think that a run on sentence merely indicates that we are rambling. For
example:
I want to buy some ice cream, but I have no money, yet I am really craving it, for I love the sweet taste, so I
hope I can borrow some money from my girlfriend because she has lots of money and owes me many favors
due to the fact that I helped her get her job, yet she often tells me I eat too much ice cream, so I hope she
doesn’t deny my request; however, I know that I can make her feel guilty because she is so easy to
manipulate, but, just in case you think so, I do actually, really love her, so I don’t really want to make her feel
bad, and, in the end, all I really want is some ice cream.
While this sentence jumps from thought to thought and sounds like babble, the sentence is grammatically correct
(though it is also an example of very poor writing). When we speak of run on sentences— or what I want you to
call run together sentences (RTS)— we are talking about joining two or more independent clauses without using a
semi colon or a word that combines them; in other words, when you combine two independent clauses as if they
were one sentence, you have made a grammatical error:
Example 1: I decided not to visit the Sutro Baths for my essay I thought it would make more sense to go to the park.
Example 2: I decided not to visit the Sutro Baths for my essay, I thought it would make more sense to go to the park.
In the first example, the writer combined two independent clauses without using any punctuation (a fused
sentence). In the second example, the writer used a comma to combine the two independent clauses (a comma
splice). Both of these are incorrect. To fix them, you need to do one of the following (a) create two separate
sentences, (b) join the independent clauses with a semi colon, or (c) find a legal joining word to combine the
independent clauses:
(a) I decided not to visit the Sutro Baths for my essay. I thought it would make more sense to go to the park
(b) I decided not to visit the Sutro Baths for my essay; I thought it would make more sense to go to the park
(c) I decided not to visit the Sutro Baths for my essay because I thought it would make more sense to go to the park
Option C is the best choice because whenever you use a word to combine clauses, you establish a clear logical
relationship between the ideas/thoughts in those two clauses. Option A is a reasonable choice, but if you use too
many short sentences in a row then your writing will likely sound choppy. Option C is the weakest choice because
you are not utilizing the advantages of finding a word that builds a relationship between the clauses.
We have already reviewed coordinating conjunctions, subordinating conjunctions, conjunctive adverbs, and
transitional phrases— all strong choices for finding the best word to establish a relationship between the ideas and
thoughts between independent clauses— so if you are still struggling to find words to combine clauses, then refer
to the handout (available on the class website). That said— I would like to remind you that when you use a
conjunctive adverb or a transitional phrase to combine two independent clauses, you must use a semi colon or you
end up with a comma splice:
Incorrect: Stow Lake, no matter how much you may try to forget, sits in an urban park in the middle of a major
city, however, one still feels a connection to the wild when they encounter the many hawks, blue herons, and
turtles that live or pass through there.
Correct: Stow Lake, no matter how much you may try to forget, sits in an urban park in the middle of a major city;
however, one still feels a connection to the wild when they encounter the many hawks, blue herons, and turtles
that live or pass through there.
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Practice Sheet: Run Together Sentences (RTS)
Directions: First find all the RTS and then rewrite the independent clauses in the space below the paragraph so that
you have a new paragraph filled with sentences that no longer run together. Second, using correct punctuation
coordinating conjunctions, subordinating conjunctions, and conjunctive adverbs / transitional phrases, combine those
independent clauses so that you have a paragraph that flows much more smoothly.
Gardening can be a very rewarding activity, it offers a multitude of benefits that range from the
physical to the psychological and spiritual. These benefits, however, are not always singular, for
example, many of the physical benefits that come from working in the garden lead to
psychological benefits such as stress release. Further, releasing stress can lead to spiritual gains
such as mindfulness and peace of mind. Gardening also allows one to connect with the soil and
the sun, the gardener has a chance to express his or her creativity as well, all these lead to a
deeper connection with nature. After a long week at work, many are exhausted and frazzled
they want a chance to let go of their responsibilities and unwind and relax. Pulling weeds,
deadheading flowers, and pruning branches can be very meditative and relaxing, selecting
flowers that attract hummingbirds and butterflies and setting up bird feeders offers one the
opportunity to sit and observe nature. All in all, gardening offers many rewards all one has to do
is find some soil and start planting.
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Sentence Combining Review – Part Two:
Adding Detail to Sentences – Adjective Clauses (ACs)
When we wish to make our sentences more detailed, we often turn to modifiers to supply more information, the
most common typically being the adjective:
The beautiful and ornate landscape of the Japanese Tea Garden attracts many visitors each year.
Both beautiful and ornate tell us more about the landscape of “the Japanese Tea Garden.” While these adjectives
certainly offer us a more descriptive image of the garden, but how else might we add more detail about the
Japanese Tea Garden? The adjective clause offers you a potentially more vivid and descriptive structure than
simply using an adjective or two. Very simply, an adjective clause is a group of words that contains a subject and
a verb that is used to modify a noun, a modification that often supplies more detail and information about that
noun:
The beautiful and ornate landscape of the Japanese Tea Garden [, which attracts many visitors each year, ] sits
in Golden Gate Park.
Grammatically speaking, adjective clauses are formed from independent clauses (IC). For example, looking at the
example above, we see that the adjective clause can be removed and converted back to an independent clause:
IC 1: The beautiful and ornate landscape of the Japanese Tea Garden sits in Golden Gate Park.
IC 2: The garden attracts many visitors each year.
Taking this into consideration, we see that both independent clauses above share the same noun: the Japanese
Tea Garden. The adjective clause is formed by replacing the garden with the relative pronoun which and then
placing the clause next to the noun being modified (in fact, adjective clauses are also often referred to as relative
clauses because we use relative pronouns to introduce the clause). Your choice of which relative pronoun to use
will depend on the noun that you are replacing;
Forming Adjective Clauses
Who: use to replace nouns or pronouns that refer to persons
(he, she, they, Michael Pollan, Annie Dillard, the transcendentalists, etc).
IC 1: Michael Pollan argues that we are attracted to the apple because it fulfills our desire for sweetness.
IC 2: He has written extensively about the food we eat.
Combined: Michael Pollan, who has written extensively about the food we eat, argues that we are attracted
to the apple because it fulfills our desire for sweetness.
IC 1: The transcendentalists argued that we lose touch with nature as we grow out of childhood.
IC 2: They believed that the spirit resides in nature.
Combined: The transcendentalists, who believed that the spirit resides in nature, argued that we lose touch
with nature as we grow out of childhood.
Whom: use to replace nouns and pronouns that refer to persons that are acting as grammatical objects in the sentence
(her, him, them).
Independent Clause 1: Many see Emerson as a visionary. (Emerson is the direct object of the sentence)
Independent Clause 2: Emerson believed that God could be best understood through connecting with nature.
Combined: Emerson, whom many see as a visionary, believed that God could be best understood through
connecting with nature.
Note: the correct use of whom seems to be destined to disappear because many feel that who “sounds” correct:
EX: Emerson, who many see as a visionary, believed that God could be best understood by connecting with nature.
However, using whom when it is not grammatically correct, sounds bizarre:
EX: Emerson, whom was one of the transcendentalists, wrote about his connection with God through nature.
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Whose: use to replace nouns and pronouns that act as a possessive in the sentence
(his, hers, theirs, Thoreau’s, environmentalists’)
IC 1: Aldo Leopold has influenced much of the environmentalist rhetoric we see today.
IC 2: His essay “A Wilderness Ethic” asks us what responsibility we have for preserving the land.
Combined: Aldo Leopold, whose essay “A Wilderness Ethic” asks us what responsibility we have for
preserving the land, has influenced much of the environmentalist rhetoric we see today.
That: use to replace nouns and pronouns that refer to persons, places, animals, things, etc. (the Romantics, lions,
nature, wilderness, place)
Independent Clause 1: Timothy Treadwell lived among bears.
Independent Clause 2: They more or less accepted his presence.
Combined: Timothy Treadwell lived among bears that more or less accepted his presence.
IC 1: Many Republicans try to discredit any environmentalists.
IC 2: The environmentalists argue industry is destroying the air and water.
IC 3: We breathe the air.
IC 4: We drink the water.
Combined: Many Republicans try to discredit any environmentalists who argue that industry is destroying
the air that we breathe and the water that we drink.
Note: sometimes the relative pronoun is unnecessary and can be deleted:
Many Republicans try to discredit any environmentalists who argue industry is destroying the air that we
breathe and the water that we drink.  see the rules for reducing adjective clauses (on the next page)
Note: Do not use that to modify person’s names.
Incorrect: Michael Pollan that has written extensively about the food that we eat argues we are attracted to the
apple because it fulfills our desire for sweetness.
Correct: Many Republicans try to discredit any environmentalists that argue industry is destroying the air we breathe
and the water we drink.
Which: use to replace nouns and pronouns that refer to everything that are not persons
(it, those, plants, nature, place, wilderness).
IC 1: Nature brings to mind, for many, images of forests, waterfalls, and woodland creatures.
IC 2: Many Americans see nature as the opposite of civilization.
Combined: Nature, which many Americans see as the opposite of civilization, brings to mind, for many,
images of forests, waterfalls, and woodland creatures.
When: use to replace nouns and pronouns that refer to time (think of it as representing “the time-when”)
(then, midnight, three o’clock, the Sixties, the nineteenth century).
IC 1: In the nineteenth century, Emerson and Thoreau wrote about the spiritual and physical importance of
connecting with it.
IC 2: Many American Christians believed nature was little more than a place for resources then.
Combined: In the nineteenth century, when many American Christians believed nature was little more
than a place for resources, Emerson and Thoreau wrote about the spiritual and physical importance of
connecting with it.
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Where: use to replace nouns and pronouns that refer to a place as a place (think of it as representing “the place-where”)
(there, nature, place, wilderness, America, the ocean).
IC 1: Annie Dillard reminds us that nature is a place.
IC 2: Birds and insects unfold in flashes of beauty there whether we notice them or not
Combined: Annie Dillard reminds us that nature is a place where birds and insects unfold in flashes of beauty whether we
notice them or not.
Note: You could also write this sentence in the following way:
(a) Annie Dillard reminds us that nature is a place in which birds and insects unfold in flashes of beauty whether we notice
them or not. (Technically, this is a prepositional phrase with an adjective clause modifying the object of the preposition)
(a) Annie Dillard reminds us that nature is a place that birds and insects unfold in flashes of beauty whether we notice
them or not.
Note: Just because a noun refers to a place does not necessarily mean that you should or can use where.
Incorrect: The Sutro Baths, where were built at the end of the nineteenth century, mysteriously burned down in 1966.
Correct: The Sutro Baths, which were built at the end of the nineteenth century, mysteriously burned down in 1966.
This is because both where and when are, technically, subordinating conjunctions. While you can use them to form an
adjective clauses that tells you more about place (where) and time (when), they must be placed in front of an
independent clause; in other words, those particular adjective clauses must have a subject (where and when cannot be
the subject of the clause.
The ruins of the Sutro Baths, where one can see a myriad of sea birds, sits on the western edge of San Francisco.
where one can see a myriad of sea birds = where + one can see a myriad of sea birds (an independent clause)
Reducing Adjective Clauses
I. Reducing the adjective clause (direct object or object of the preposition)
When an adjective clause is formed by converting a direct object or object of the preposition, we can reduce the
adjective clause by omitting the relative pronoun. Look at the example below:
independent clause adjective clause
He works in the garden that he planted for his wife and children.
Let’s break the sentence into two independent clauses by converting the adjective clause to an independent clause.
S TV DO
He planted the garden [for his wife and children.]  Independent Clause that was converted into an adjective clause
S TV DO DO S TV
He planted the garden that for his wife and children.
 that he planted [for his wife and children.]
 that he planted [for his wife and children.]
We can drop the relative pronoun and the sentence will still work.
Correct: He works in the garden that he planted for his wife and children.
Correct: He works in the garden he planted for his wife and children.
Correct: Many people love the gardens that they first played in as children.
Correct: Many people love the gardens they first played in as children.
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II. Reducing the adjective clause to a verbal phrase that is acting as an adjective
When you have an adjective clause that contains a verbal and a to be verb, you can omit the relative pronoun and to be
verb. What you are left with is a verbal phrase acting as an adjective.
Corporations that are polluting the environment should be given much steeper fines.
Corporations polluting the environment should be given much steeper fines.
The Botany of Desire, which was written by Michael Pollan, is about how certain plants fulfill our desires.
The Botany of Desire, written by Michael Pollan, is about how certain plants fulfill our desires.
III. Converting an adjective clause to a noun phrase appositive.
When your adjective clause is a pattern two dependent clause that has a relative pronoun + linking verb + noun
complement, you can omit the relative pronoun and the linking verb. What you are left with is a noun phrase
appositive.
Annie Dillard, who is a Pulitzer Prize winner for her book Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, later converted to Catholicism.
Annie Dillard, a Pulitzer Prize winner for her book Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, later converted to Catholicism.
Using Several Adjective Clauses in a Single Sentence
Rachel Carson, who wrote such memorable environmental classics as Silent Spring, The Edge of the Sea, and The Sea
Around Us, is also remembered as an early environmentalist that was attacked by a number of politicians and many
chemical companies for being an alarmist who “courageously spoke out to remind us we are a vulnerable part” of the same
ecosystem that we are damaging.
IC 1: Rachel Carson is also remembered as an early environmentalist.
IC 1: She wrote such memorable environmental classics as Silent Spring, The Edge of the Sea, and The Sea Around Us.
IC 1: She was attacked by a number of politicians and many chemical companies for being an alarmist.
IC 1: She “courageously spoke out to remind us we are a vulnerable part” of the same ecosystem.
IC 1: We are damaging it.
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Punctuation
Whether you use commas with the adjective clause or not often depends on the context of how the clause is being
used. When we consider how a clause or a phrase works as a modifier in a sentence, we often take into consideration
whether that clause or phrase is restrictive or nonrestrictive. There are several different ways to consider this.
1. Restrictive Clauses
Restrictive clauses provide essential information about the sentence, information so necessary that if the clause were
removed, the sentence would no longer make sense.
Rachel Carson and Aldo Leopold exposed many problems with the way that Americans understood their
responsibility
for the land, but the ones that recognized the importance of adopting a new perspective on the consequences of
our
actions were the most important.
If you remove the adjective clauses, you are left with the following sentence, which does not really make any sense:
Rachel Carson and Aldo Leopold exposed many problems with the way, but the ones were the most important.
2. Non-Restrictive Clauses
On the other hand, if the clauses are supplying additional information, but do not affect the overall meaning of the
sentence, then they are nonrestrictive:
The deserts of Nevada, which stretch for many miles under the eyes of punishing heat, are filled with life.
If you remove the clause, you are left with a sentence that, even though it is less detailed, makes perfect sense:
The deserts of Nevada are filled with life.
3. Commas or No Commas? Restrictive or Non-Restrictive?
As far as how to properly punctuate these clauses, you use commas for nonrestrictive clauses and no commas for
restrictive clauses. However, whether a clause is restrictive or nonrestrictive is not always as obvious as the examples
above; moreover, sometimes the choice to make a clause restrictive or nonrestrictive will depend on how you wish that
clause to be understood (and, by extension, the clauses relationship to the noun you are modifying).
The natural areas that are in the National Park system have been set aside for all to enjoy.
The natural areas, which are in the National Park system, have been set aside of all to enjoy.
In the first sentence, the restrictive clause implies that you are identifying the specific natural areas in the National Park
system that have been set aside for everyone to enjoy– while, in the second sentence, the nonrestrictive clause implies
that you are giving extra background information about the natural areas, which are part of the park system.
While the choice to use an adjective clause restrictively or non-restrictively is often a choice of focus, you can only use a
“that clause” restrictively. All other adjective clauses can be used either restrictively or non-restrictively depending on
the context of the sentence and however you wish to focus the sentence. However, in general, many writers tend to
only use the “which clause” non-restrictively.
NOTE: RULE  Adjective clauses that begin with “that” can only be used restrictively (to identify the noun)
What to Take Away from This Lesson
Adjectives clauses are a very effective way to add detail to your sentences.
You can also use them to combine sentences especially when you have several sentences in a row that share the
same subject and you are looking for a way to reduce the repetition.
Use the appropriate relative pronoun (who, whom, whose, which, that, when, where)
You can reduce some adjective clauses by omitting the relative pronoun (and sometimes other words).
Restrictive adjective clauses identify the nouns they are modifying. Do not use commas.
Non-restrictive clauses provide background information about the nouns they are modifying. Use commas.
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Practice – Adjective Clauses
I. Directions: Underline the adjective clauses in the passages below.
(1) Robert Stone never knew his father, who skipped out of his life when he was a baby, leaving him to cope with a
schizophrenic mother and a series of Catholic schools and orphanages where, he says, he “learned to spell, learned
grammar, learned Latin — the only foreign language in which I ever had a literary experience — and got hit a lot.” And
though Stone, at 61, refuses to feel sorry for his abandoned young self (“I had a fine childhood,” he says firmly, deflecting
sympathy), the story of his genesis is echoed in all of the big, brilliant novels he has written since, especially in his
fascination with the absconding God of Jewish mysticism, the God who abandons his creation, leaving behind both
tantalizing bits of himself and all of us, long for what those divine fragments suggest we have lost. (San Francisco Examiner
Magazine (May 24, 1998): “Stone Alone”, by Joan Smith. p 7)
———————————————————————————————————————-
II. Directions: Find the adjective clauses and underline them. Then decide whether they are restrictive or non-restrictive
(write this above each clause). Finally make sure they are properly punctuated and fix them if necessary.
(1) Many cultures of the past have considered wilderness which we might consider as those places, that we think have been
left untouched by man, as places of desolation.
(2) Annie Dillard who wrote Pilgrim at Tinker Creek suggests that we often miss seeing the many “events,” which often are
happening all around us.
(3) In the nineteenth century when many believed that God left man in charge of nature, the civilizations of the Western
World believed that the resources found in nature would always be plentiful.
———————————————————————————————————————-
III. Directions: Using adjective clauses combine these independent clauses into a single sentence:
Annie Dillard wrote Pilgrim at Tinker Creek. Annie Dillard won the Pulitzer Prize in 1975. Pilgrim at Tinker Creek chronicles
Dillard’s thoughts on solitude, writing, religion, and the flora and fauna of Tinker Creek. Tinker Creek is located in the Blue
Ridge Mountains.
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Free Modifiers Part Two – Noun Phrase Appositives (NPAs)
Noun phrase appositives (NPAs) are another handy structure for adding detail to your sentences. We already
know that (a) a phrase is a group of words that is missing a subject, a verb or both and (b) that a noun is a person,
place, thing, concept etc., but we have not yet discussed what an appositive is. Apposition is “the act of placing
together or bringing into proximity,” or, in grammar terms, apposition is “a syntactic relation between expressions,
usually consecutive, that has the same function and the same relation to other elements in the sentence, the
second expression identifying or supplementing the first (dictionary.com). In the case of the NPA, a single noun or
a noun phrase is placed next to a noun or noun phrase, or, more specifically, the noun or noun phrase renames the
noun or noun phrase that it has been placed next to—and, through that process, the NPA clarifies, explains and/or
presents other aspects.
The simplest NPAs are names, titles or common tags:
1. Annie Dillard, a writer, is the author of Pilgrim at Tinker Creek.
2. The EPA, the Environmental Protection Agency, is supposed to monitor the companies that pollute.
3. Even though I already knew that Treadwell was killed by one of the bears that he was trying to protect, I
could not stop watching Grizzly Man, an interesting documentary.
While these are certainly not the most effective or interesting uses of the NPA, these examples do show how the
NPA basically works. Note that in each of the examples a noun or noun phrase renames another noun or noun
phrase—and very often an article (a, an, or the). In the first example, writer renames Annie Dillard; in the second
example, Environmental Protection Agency renames EPA, and in the third example, documentary renames Grizzly
Man.
The NPA, however, is a much more powerful and effective tool than shown in these examples. If we look at the
third example, we see that the adjective interesting is modifying the noun documentary (which renames Grizzly
Man). With this in mind, we can consider other ways to modify a noun and add even more rich detail to our
sentences. For example, we might consider using the adjective clause to modify the appositive that is renaming
the noun.
Even though I already knew that Treadwell was killed by one of the bears that he was trying to protect, I could
not stop watching Grizzly Man, an interesting documentary that gathers together the video footage
Treadwell took during his yearly expeditions to Alaska.
In this example, we see the appositive being used as an anchor to attach the adjective clause, the combination
allowing us to add some useful and rich detail to the sentence.
Another useful way to employ the NPA is to use them in a series:
Redwood tree forests are filled with many natural features that fill us with wonder— trees, shrubs, birds,
woodland creatures, waterfalls, and the moist air.
The Sutro Baths have a unique rhythm— the pull of the tides, the incessant rolling of waves, the song of birds
in flight, the interview between light and water.
In both of these examples, we see a series of words that rename the noun. In first example, we see a list of
features from the forest that fill us with wonder. In the second example, we see the addition of prepositional
phrases, which provide more detail about the appositives that rename rhythm.
Another very useful way to employ the NPA is to use it to rename an entire sentence:
Emerson felt that our minds could become one with the spirit of the natural world as if, when we convene with
nature, we become much like a transparent eyeball that loses all sense of the self, an observation that suggests
when we connect with nature we lose all sense of the I and just experience the natural world for what it is.
Observation renames the entire independent clause that comes before it—and the adjective clause that follows it
provides an explanation for what Emerson means when he claims that he becomes a transparent eyeball when he
experiences nature.
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Punctuation
Noun Phrase appositives, in general, are non-restrictive (though there will certainly be times when they are
restrictive), so, in general, we surround them with commas:
In “Non-moral Nature,” Stephen Jay Gould writes about the ichneumon fly, a wasp that passes “their larva
life as parasites feeding on the bodies of other animals” (1).
Michael Pollan, in his essay “Gardening Means War,” recognizes that ladybugs, insects that know “how to
catch 40 or 50 aphids every day without hurting anybody else,” are a very viable alternative to pesticides
(5).
From time to time, you might find yourself wanting to insert a series of NPA’s between the subject and verb.
When you make this choice, you need to consider the fact that, as readers who want to read as effortlessly as
possible, we don’t like there to be too many words between the subject and the verb of a sentence, so it often
helps to set that series off with dashes:
Muir Woods—a place where giants reach for the sky, an ecosystem with roots that stretch back to the time
of dinosaurs, a forest of silence that fills one with calm—was set aside as a national monument by Teddy
Roosevelt in 1908.
Sentence Combining with NPA’s and Adjective Clauses
As you are revising your essays, you can look for sentences that share the same nouns and see if you can reduce
any of them to NPA’s and/or adjective clauses and combine them.
The Sutros Baths are located on the far western edge of San Francisco.
They are the leftover ruins of a building.
The building used to house a large seawater fed pool.
The waves of the Pacific Ocean crash against the leftover concrete barriers.
The concrete barriers still reveal where the pools had once been used.
The pools are now filled with feathered visitors.
Some of those visitors are seagulls, ducks, pelicans, egrets and herons.
The Sutro Baths— the leftover ruins of a building that used to house a large seawater fed pool— are located on
the far western edge of San Francisco, where the waves of the Pacific Ocean crash against the leftover concrete
barriers that still reveal where the pools had once been used, pools that are now filled with feathered visitors such
as seagulls, ducks, pelicans, egrets and herons.
While your goal for this class is not to write sentences as long as this, this example illustrates just how effectively
you can add detail to your sentences by using NPAS, adjective clauses, and NPAs modified by adjective clauses. .
Other Notes
(1) You can use the same word as the one you are renaming (this can create a nice effect):
In order to save our planet from the destructive and garish forces of overdevelopment, we must find solutions that
bridge the gap between the need to for development and the need to conserve our resources, solutions that can
satisfy the desire to acquire wealth through building new real estate and the necessity to not overbuild, solutions
that will satisfy politicians and lobbyists as well as environmentalists and conservationists.
(2) You can also list appositives that are followed by a pronoun:
The dark green whirled leaves of skunk cabbage, the clover-like leaves of wild ginger, the frilly fronds of ferns, the
gentle babble of creeks winding across the forest floor, the insistent tapping of woodpeckers— all of these are the
sights and sounds of the redwood tree forest.
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Noun Phrase Appositives Practice Sheet
Directions: Underline the NPAs in each sentence and italicize the noun that renames the noun you are modifying.
(1) The home of good talk, then, is the third place—a meeting ground between the work place and the family circle,
between the “rat race” and the “womb.” (Christopher Lasch, The Revolt of the Elites)
(2) When I first started to read about the emerging science of chaos, I was immediately struck with similarities to
characteristics that had been ascribed to the Feminine: unpredictability, nonlinear processes, the importance of
context, and the inseparable relatedness of the parts to the whole. (Linda Jean Shepard, Lifting the Veil: The
Feminine Face of Science)
(3) Malawi’s cash crops— peanuts, tea, coffee, sugarcane, and tobacco— were unchanged, though their value on the
world market continued to fluctuate. (Paul Theroux, “Malawi,” National Geographic)
(4) This was the old slap-on-the-fingers-if-your-modifiers-were caught-dangling stuff—correct spelling, correct
punctuation, correct grammar, hundreds of itsy-bitsy rules for itsy-bitsy people. (Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and The Art of
Motorcycle Maintenance)
(5) Scores are important, but not as important as the process that produces them, a point of view that should
surprise no one, since America was the first nation to be argued into existence. (Neil Postman, The End of Education)
Directions: Create Your Own NPA/Adjective Clause Combinations
(a) The lighthouse, ___________________________________________________, sits on the edge of a
cliff above the Pacific Ocean.
Example: The lighthouse, a shiny beacon that was built in 1876, sits at the edge of a cliff above the Pacific
Ocean.
(b) Timothy Treadwell, _________________________________________________, was eaten by a lion.
Directions: Combine these sentences by converting them into NPA’s, adjective clauses, and NPA/adjective clause
combinations. Create several independent clauses or, if you feel like it, try to create one single clause. Don’t worry
about whether you do it correctly. Just give it a try.
1. Taking into consideration the rise of flavorless tomatoes, one might ask whether large, commercial-run farms
will ever return to growing fruit and vegetables with flavor.
2. Flavorless tomatoes are orbs of bland watery skin
3. Flavorless tomatoes are shiny red globes of genetically altered fruit.
4. Large, commercial-run farms seek to cut every possible corner to save money,
5. This is an important question to consider because the consumer is being left with a growing crop of
unappealing produce
6. It is a crop.
7. It looks incredibly delicious yet tastes like bottled water.
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Free Modifiers Part Three – Clause Modifying Verbal Phrases (CMVPs)
The clause modifying verbal phrase (CMVP) is a third way to supply your sentences with more rich detail. Phrases,
as we already know, are groups of words that are missing a subject, a verb or both. We also know that clauses are
groups of words that contain a subject and a verb, and we can deduce that CMVPs are verbal phrases that modify
clauses. Before we can continue, we need to take a few moments to consider what a verbal is.
What Are Verbals?
Verbals are nonfinite, non-tense verb forms that can function as nouns, adjectives, adverbs, and parts of finite
verbs. There are three forms of verbals:
(1) The “ing form” (aka the present participle) jumping, talking, singing, sleeping, smoking
(2) The “ed” or “had” form (aka the past participle) jumped, talked, sung, had slept, smoked
(3) The “to” form (aka the infinitive) to jump, to sleep, to talk, to sing, to smoke
To better understand what we mean by nonfinite/non-tense, let’s take a look at the following word groupings:
1. I teaching you how to modify a clause with a verbal phrase.
2. Environmentalists dedicated to saving Redwood forests for future generations.
3. Snyder argues that we to consider how we demarcate place by looking at the biology of the region.
You have likely noticed that all three of these word grouping don’t quite make sense because something seems to
be missing. Indeed, each word grouping needs a verb that provides tense:
1. I am teaching you how to modify a clause with a verbal phrase.
2. Environmentalists are dedicated to saving Redwood forests for future generations.
3. Snyder argues that we need to consider how we demarcate place by looking at the biology of the region.
You might also notice that even if those first groupings of words are missing tense, the verbals still contain action.
Indeed, verbals, once again, are nonfinite, non-tense verb forms that function as nouns, adjectives, adverbs, or
parts of a finite verb.
Wandering and meditating are two of the many rewards of hiking.
The dedicated environmentalist never stops protesting against companies that pollute the air.
Wandering and meditating act as the subjects of the first sentence and hiking is the object of the preposition of.
In the second sentence, dedicated acts as an adjective that modifies environmentalist and protesting against
companies that pollute the air acts as the direct object of the verb stops.
Clause Modifying Verbal Phrases
Clause modifying verbal phrases (CMVP) are phrases that (a) contain a verbal and (b) modify entire clauses (both
independent and dependent). Clause modifying verbal phrases can join two actions which happen at the same
time. This relationship can also be emphasized by adding “while,” “by,” or “in.”
While living at Tinker Creek, Annie Dillard recorded her observations and thoughts on solitude, writing, religion,
and the flora and fauna that surrounded her daily.
Please also note that a CMVP can be understood as a reduced independent clause; for example, let’s look at the
previous sentence. The CMVP can easily be converted to an independent clause:
Annie Dillard lived at Tinker Creek.
She recorded her observations and thoughts on solitude, writing, religion, and the flora and fauna that surrounded her
daily.
CMVPs can also imply a cause/effect relationship:
Environmentalists are dedicated to making the planet a cleaner and healthier place to live.
Environmentalists fight large industrial corporations and factories that pollute the water and air.
Dedicated to making the planet a cleaner and healthier place to live, environmentalists fight large industrial
corporations and factories that pollute the water and air.
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CMVPs can also establish actions that happen at different times by using words like after or before:
• William visited his friend’s garden. He tasted the fresh, homegrown tomatoes.
• William signed up for a plot of land at the local community garden.
• He planted his own tomatoes, basil and jalapeno peppers.
After visiting his friend’s garden and tasting the fresh, homegrown tomatoes, William signed up for a plot of land at
the local community garden, planting his own tomatoes, basil, and jalapeno peppers.
CMVPs are especially useful for supplying more information, detail and description for your sentence. Like the
other free modifiers we have looked at so far, you can set them up as a series.
In order to convince his readers that working with the earth helps one find a spiritual center, Jonathan Kotzel,
author of Gardening As a New Age Practice, tries to impress the importance of spirituality in gardening by
describing friends who have used gardening as a way to overcome depression, by interviewing inmates who have
found solace and peace through working the earth, and by offering his own experiences of using gardening to get
over the death of his wife.
You can also move them around in the clause that you are modifying:
By describing friends who have used gardening as a way to overcome depression and by interviewing inmates who
have found solace and peace through working the earth, the author of Gardening As a New Age Practice,
Johnathan Kotzel, in order to convince his readers that working with the earth helps one find a spiritual center,
tries to impress the importance of spirituality in gardening by also offering his own experiences of using
gardening to get over the death of his wife.
The CMVP Rule: If you look closely at all of the previous examples, you should notice a specific pattern: all of the
clauses and clause modifying verbal phrases share the same subject. Keeping this in mind, we can now take a look
at the CMVP rule: the implied subject of the verbal phrase must be the same as the subject of the clause that you
are modifying.
By closely examining Emerson’s claim that we become a transparent eyeball when we convene with nature, his
radical revisualization of nature as a place to better understand God is witnessed.
Who is examining Emerson’s claim in this sentence? Is “Emerson’s radical revisualization of nature” examining his
own claim? The sentence, as written, does not quite make sense (even if it kind of sounds like it does). Because
the implied subject of the verbal phrase is not the same as the subject of the sentence you are modifying, the
phrase does not feel like it is firmly attached to the clause it is modifying. When this happens, we say that it is
dangling (thus a dangling modifier). If this happens, then you need to find a way to fix it so it no longer dangles.
You have several options. You might notice that the independent clause has been written in the passive voice.
What if we rewrite it in the active voice?
By closely examining Emerson’s claim that we become a transparent eyeball when we convene with nature, we
witness his radical revisualization of nature as a place to better understand God.
In the active voice, the agent of the sentence we has been returned to the subject slot. Since we are the ones
doing the examining, the implied subject and the subject of the clause being modified now work. You could also fix
the sentence by converting the CMVP into a subordinate clause
Moving CMVPs Around in a Clause
As long as the implied subject of the CMVP is the same as the subject of the clause that you are modifying, you can
move the CMVP around in the sentence until you have found the place where it works the best.
The class rebelled against their professor’s unfair policies.
They refused to turn in work.
They wrote letters to the college president.
They boycotted class meetings.
1. Here are several options:
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2. The class rebelled against their professor’s unfair practices by refusing to turn in work, writing letters to the
college president, and boycotting class meetings.
3. After refusing to turn in work, the class rebelled against their professor’s unfair practices by writing letters to
the college president and boycotting class meetings.
4. The class, refusing to turn in work, rebelled against their professor’s unfair practices by also writing letters to
the college president and boycotting class meetings.
Punctuation
In general, you surround CMVPs with a comma.
CMVP + , + IC | CMVP + , +CMVP + , + CMVP + , +IC. | I + , + CMCP + , + IC
—————————————————————————————————————————————–
CMVP — Practice Sheet
Recognizing CMVPs (underline the CMVPs in the sentences below)
1) Feeling a little overwhelmed, she walked to the podium for the first time, trembling noticeably, and addressed
the audience.
2) Dismayed at the lack of progress and left with few options, the students finally took over the administration
building
3) To overcome his feelings of inadequacy, he took up the sport of jousting.
Create your own CMVPs for the following sentences:
1) Thoreau writes, in his essay Walking, that “in wildness is the preservation of society” (8).
Example: Attempting to express the importance of our connection to nature, Thoreau writes, in his essay, Walking,
that “in wildness is the preservation of society” (8).
2) The Sutro Baths have been left to the erosive elements of ocean and land.
Correct the dangling modifiers in the following sentences
1) The garden has been finished after completing all the necessary backbreaking work.
2) To familiarize you with the 19th century concept of the sublime and its affect on how we have come to
understand the natural word, the affect it had on painting in both Europe and America is explained by William
Cronon.
3) After reading your essay about cheeseburgers and their influence on how we define wilderness, several
questions came to my mind.
4) Before visiting Muir Woods, transportation must be arranged.
5) The day was spent hiking the trails of Mount Tamalpais, sailing on Richardson Bay, and eating lunch in Sausalito.
Try to combine these groupings of sentences by using converting them to CMVPs and attaching them to one of
the clauses:
The students continued their occupation of the building
They were stubbornly refusing to give in to the administration.
They were running low on food and water.
They were sleeping in shifts.
They were surrounded by squads of police and soldiers.
The president deferred to her advisors.
She claimed that they had studied the issue thoroughly.
She argued that her own involvement should minimal.
She looked tired and worn.
He tried a new way of doing the recipe.
He added good salsa, lime juice, sea salt and cilantro.
He made the best guacamole he’d ever tasted.
But he failed to make enough.
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Free Modifiers Part Four – Absolute Phrases
Absolute phrases are reduced sentences that typically modify whole sentences or clauses. While they are not the most
commonly used construction, they are a valuable tool when you are looking for another structure that will allow you to
add additional detail to your sentences.
In “To Autumn,” Keats celebrates the beauty of autumn, its dwindling rhythms, misty fruitfulness, and
intoxicating drowsiness hinting at Keats’ acceptance that he will soon die.
Comparing the independent clause (in bold) to the absolute phrase (in italics), what similarities and differences do you
see? Do they both have a subject? Do they both have a verb? What makes the absolute a phrase? If you guessed that
both the clause and the phrase have a subject, but the absolute phrase has no verb, then you guessed correctly.
Let’s take a closer look at the absolute phrase (in italics). The full subject of the sentence is— its dwindling rhythms,
misty fruitfulness, and intoxicating drowsiness— which is followed by the verbal (in this case a present participle)
hinting. We can easily convert the absolute phrase into an independent clause by transforming the verbal into an
active verb:
Its dwindling rhythms, misty fruitfulness, and intoxicating drowsiness hint at Keats’ acceptance that he will
soon die.
With this in mind, let’s take a quick look at the two different ways that you can transform an independent clause into
an absolute phrase.
(1) Delete the be verb in the sentence (am is, are, was, were):
Ind. Clause #1: I remember the emeralds in shop windows, lying casually in trays.
Ind. Clause #2: All of them were oddly pale at the center.
I remember the emeralds in shop windows, lying casually in trays, all of them were oddly pale at the center. (Joan
Didion)
Ind. Clause #1: In his article “The Trouble With Wilderness,” William Cronon argues that we need to rethink nature.
Ind. Clause #1: His goal is to convince his readers that we are not separate from the natural world.
In his article “The Trouble With Wilderness,” William Cronon argues that we need to rethink nature, his goal is to
convince his readers that we are not separate from the natural world.
(2) Transform the active verb into a verbal:
Ind. Clause #1: Science is a creative human activity.
Ind. Clause #2: Its geniuses act more as artists than as information processors.
Science is a creative human activity, its geniuses act acting more as artists than as information processors.
(Stephen Jay Gould)
Ind. Clause #1: After describing the fleeting nature of spring, Frost shifts his attention to man’s fall from grace in the
Garden of Eden.
Ind. Clause #2: Frost’s use of a coordinating conjunction ties the brevity of our lives to the brevity of that first green of
spring.
After describing the fleeting nature of spring, Frost shifts his attention to man’s fall from grace in the Garden of
Eden, Frost’s use of a coordinating conjunction ties tying the brevity of our lives to the brevity of that first green of
spring.
Using Absolutes in a Series: Like all other like-grammatical structures, more than one absolute phrase can be arranged
in a series:
In her Pulitzer Prize winning book Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, Annie Dillard explores what it means to see by using rich,
figurative language that contemplates the different ways we see, her metaphors building connections between sight
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and perception, her poetic choice of words adding a musical flow to her storied observations, her tapestry of images
reminding us that seeing is as much about understanding as it is about observing.
Building off of what we have learned so far this semester, let’s look at how this sentences breaks down into individual
independent clauses:
1. In her Pulitzer Prize winning book Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, Annie Dillard explores what it means to see.
2. She uses rich, figurative language.
3. This rich figurative language contemplates the different ways we see.
4. Her metaphors build connections between sight and perception.
5. Her poetic choice of words add a musical flow to her storied observations
6. Her tapestry of images reminds us that seeing is as much about understanding as it is about observing.
Quick Analysis
1. In her Pulitzer Prize winning book Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, Annie Dillard explores what it means to see.  base clause
2. She uses by using rich, figurative language  CMVP
3. This rich figurative language that contemplates the different ways we see.  adjective clause
4. Her metaphors build building connections between sight and perception.  absolute
5. Her poetic choice of words add adding a musical flow to her storied observations  absolute
6. Her tapestry of images reminds reminding us that seeing is as much about understanding as it is about observing.
Like CMVPs, you can move absolute phrases around in the sentence. The order you choose will depend on which order
sounds the best to you. Here are a few possibilities (which one sounds best to you?):
Her head thrown back, a rose clenched in her teeth, a smile on her lips, Lydia danced the tango.
Lydia, her head thrown back, a smile on her lips, danced the tango, a rose clenched in her teeth.
A smile on her lips, Lydia danced the tango, her head thrown back and a rose clenched in her teeth.
Punctuating Absolute Phrases
Her head thrown back, Lydia danced the tango.
If the absolute begins the sentence, place a comma at the end of the absolute.
Lydia, her head thrown back, danced the tango.
If the absolute appears in the middle of the sentence, place commas on both ends of the absolute.
Lydia danced the tango, her head thrown back.
If the absolute ends the sentence, place a comma at the beginning of the absolute.
How are absolute phrases different from clause modifying verbal phrases?
Throwing her head down, Lydia danced the tango.
Her head thrown down, Lydia danced the tango.
What is the difference functionally between these two phrase structures? (Hint: the answer can be best found in the
way you form them). Which one is the absolute an which one is the CMVP?
He drifts away, remembering sophomore year and the old Mercury he’d bought from Elvin Marsdale in French House.
A big, top-heavy brute of a car, it had broken down constantly, forcing him to spend as much time in junkyards looking
for parts as on the road. When, finally, his tuned ear told him the engine itself was dying–inexorable death from the
inside, rings totally worn, valves gasping, driveshaft groaning–he’d sold it to an ignorant graduate student at a slight
profit.
Find the absolutes in this paragraph …
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Practice Sheet:
Part One: (a) find and underline the absolute phrase (b) then convert the absolute phrase into an independent clause
1. She walked indolently along, with a mind at rest, its peace reflected in her innocent face. (Mark Twain)
Example: Its peace was reflected in her innocent face.
2. The spider skins lie on their sides, translucent and ragged, their legs drying in knots. (Annie Dillard)
3. Bolenciecwcz was staring at the floor now, trying to think, his great brow furrowed, his huge hands rubbing together, his face red. (James
Thurber)
4. You can get a fair sense of the perils of an elevator shaft by watching an elevator rush up and down one, its counterweight flying by, like the
blade on a guillotine. (Nick Paumgarten)
5. Marxism is dead, the Communist system utterly discredited by human experience, but the ghost of Marx hovers above the landscape, perhaps
with a knowing smile. (William Grieder)
Part Two: Transform one of the following sentences into an absolute phrase and attach it to the other sentence:
California has many industries vital to its economy. Technology is one of the most innovative and profitable.
Most Gardeners want to express something personal. Their overall designs reflect their creative selves.
Gardeners have to face many problems. Pests, deer, and blight are the most common and pervasive.
Part Three: Choose a base clause and then transform the other two sentences into absolutes.
1) Their faces bubbled with excitement. The children waited for the gates to Disneyland to open. Their mouths drooled with anticipation.
2) Their native lands have been left behind. An uncertain future looms ahead. Immigrants often have many obstacles to overcome.
Part Four: Choose a base clause and then transform the other sentences into a series of absolutes.
I gripped the wheel of the skidding car. My knuckles were white. My hair was standing on end. My stomach was heaving.
Part Five: Create your own sentences using absolutes.
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
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Coordination – Correlative Conjunctions
Correlative conjunctions are two-part conjunctions like these:
not only …………………………………… but also
not only …………………………………. but
not ………………………………………….. but
neither ………………………………….. nor
either …………………………………….. or
both ……………………………………….. and
Correlative conjunctions are not only used to establish connections and logical relationships between sentences, but
also to emphasize those ideas. In order for this structure to work as intended, you need to consider the following
two issues whenever you attempt to include them in your writing:
1) They must join similar grammatical units used in the same way.
conj. + verb phrase conj. + independent clause
Incorrect: Neil Young not only plays loud, thrashing grunge, but he also plays mellow acoustic melodies.
conj. + noun phrase conj. + noun phrase
Correct: Neil Young plays not only loud, thrashing grunge but also mellow acoustic melodies.
2) They should be placed as closely as possible in front of the elements you are emphasizing:
conj. + independent clause conj + independent clause
Okay: Not only was Jerry Garcia a great guitar player, but he was also a pretty good banjo player.
conj. + noun complement conj. + noun complement
Better: Jerry Garcia was not only a great guitar player but also a decent banjo player.
Quick Practice
Try combining the following sentences with not only…..but AND both ……. and
1) My Uncle Larry smoked a lot of marijuana. He had boxes and boxes of funny colored pills.
2) Mary watched birds in Golden Gate Park for fun. She watched them for a living.
3) Donald Trump’s essays about poetry were not very focused. His emails to his fellow classmates were very
strange.
Combine the following sentences with: not …… but
1) Frankie does not like thinking. He loves playing golf.
2) The congressman does not like to give press conferences. He loves to play golf and go on vacation.
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Fragments
Fragments— groups of words that are punctuated as if complete sentences— tend to come in two varieties:
dependent clauses (groups of words that contain a subject and a verb but cannot stand alone) and phrases (groups
of words that are missing a subject, a verb or both). And more often than not writers can fix them by simply
attaching them to an independent clause that is already in the paragraph:
1) I visited the Sutro Bath ruins. A place that reminds one of an ancient civilization left to the forces of time.
2) The Redwood trees in Muir Woods remind me of the Ents from The Lord of the Rings. Because they are
ancient, tall and almost seem to be wise.
3) The lagoon at Crissy Field reminds us that we can always return the land to its original habitat. Especially since
we have the creativity.
4) I revisited the ruins of Sutro Baths because I discovered an odd music in those foghorns. Which call like fallen
angels in the night.
5) Yosemite feels like wilderness, but sometimes I feel lost in the crowds. Considering how many people visit the
park every year.
Each one of these fragments can be easily fixed by simply attaching them to the clause, in fact each one fits the
sentence perfectly (and continues the idea that the clause put forth).
1) I visited the Sutro Bath ruins, a place that reminds one of an ancient civilization left to the forces of time.
2) The Redwood trees in Muir Woods remind me of the Ents from The Lord of the Rings because they are
ancient, tall and almost seem to be wise.
3) The lagoon at Crissy Field reminds us that we can always return the land to its original habitat— especially
since we have the creativity.
4) I revisited the ruins of Sutro Baths because I discovered an odd music in those foghorns., which call like fallen
angels in the night.
5) Considering how many people visit the park every year, I sometimes feel lost in the crowds, but it still feels like
wilderness.
Sometimes writers create fragments because they lose sight of the direction they are writing and then forget to
look back at the sentence to be sure that it completes a thought (or that is has a subject and verb).
The ruins of the Sutro Baths, which are the remains of the old building that housed a large heated sea water
swimming pool, which was, according to those who remember, very fun especially since it had a large slide
that dumped you in the water.
This is a much more complicated fragment than the previous examples, but should be even more easily noticed
because it never completes a thought (many writers never notice fragments because they don’t look back at what
they previously wrote—or don’t take the time to consider what they have actually written—or if it adequately
communicates what they are trying to say). If we break it down it looks like this:
(A) The ruins of the Sutro Baths [what looks like the subject]
(B) which are the remains of the old building [adjective clause – modifying Sutro Baths]
(C) that housed a heated sea water swimming pool [adjective clause – modifying building]
(D) which was, according to those who remember, very fun [adjective clause & CMVP]
(E) —especially since it had a large slide that dumped you in the water (subordinate clause + adjective clause]
The fragment has what appears to be a subject, but it is missing a verb for that subject (as well as the rest of the
predicate). The only way to fix this is to make sure that the subject has a verb (and whatever else you wish to
include in the predicate).
The ruins of the Sutro Baths once featured a heated, sea water swimming pool, which was, according to those
who remember, very fun— especially since it had a large slide that dumped you in the water.
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Acceptable Fragments: Some fragments are generally considered acceptable, but keep in mind that some
teachers will find some of these fragments unacceptable, and, with everything you write, you need to keep your
audience in mind!
• Used for emphasis: If we continue to spray insecticides, we may end up killing all of the natural predators for
the insects we are trying to control. A dire consequence, indeed.
• To answer a question: When we wander through the park, do we see everything? Not according to Annie
Dillard.
• As transitions: And now, keeping these qualities in mind, another perspective on why we should look more
closely.
• Exclamations: A poorly conceived plan, indeed!
• As questions: Which option should Americans choose? <– almost universally acceptable
Practice Sheet: Fragments
Directions: first underline all the fragments and then, in the space below, rewrite the paragraph by either (a)
combining the fragments with a nearby clause or (b) transforming the phrase or dependent clause into an
independent clause (or whatever else you think will fix the fragment):
The Japanese rock garden or “dry landscape” garden, often called a zen garden, creates a miniature stylized
landscape through carefully composed arrangements of rocks, water features, moss, pruned trees and bushes.
Featuring gravel or sand that is raked to represent ripples in water. A zen garden is usually relatively small,
surrounded by a wall. Meant to be seen while seated from a single viewpoint outside the garden, such as the
porch of the hojo. The residence of the chief monk of the temple or monastery. Classical zen gardens were
created at temples of Zen Buddhism in Kyoto, Japan during the Muromachi Period. Intended to imitate the
intimate essence of nature, not its actual appearance, and to serve as an aid to meditation. A Zen garden is an
interesting and deeply spiritual aspect of Japanese gardening traditions. The typical Zen garden consists of an
enclosed and shallow sand box of sorts. Which features predominantly sand or gravel with rocks of various shapes
and sizes. The rocks and sand (or gravel) are the chief elements of the garden. Which generally creates the scene
of islands in the sea. The sand or gravel in a Zen garden represents the sea or ocean and is used instead of water.
Carefully raked by tending monks to create the impression of waves on the surface of a body of water. The rocks
themselves represent islands or rock formations jutting out from the water. The overall goal creating a small-scale
recreation of an aerial or cliff-top view of an intricate coastal scene. One of the primary differences between a Zen
garden and most other varieties is the lack of living elements. Although moss may sometimes be included. Few
other plant or flower species will be found in a classic Zen garden. This can be both unusual and exotically
appealing to people with no past experience with the history and meaning of a Zen garden.
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PIE – A Way to “think” about Paragraph Structure
One should be wary of neat and convenient formulas that explain how to write. While they can
certainly be helpful, if always followed to the letter— instead of using them as an organization
guide— one can end up with very formulaic writing devoid of variety. In its simplest sense, PIE breaks
down to the following.
P = Point (basically the main point of the paragraph; in other words, what everything in your
paragraph relates to)
I = Illustration or Information (these are the examples, quotes, summaries, bits of essential
information that you provide to further illustrate your points)
E = Explanation (I prefer to think of this as the point where you address your illustration / information
/ Quote because not all those things need to be further “explained”—though it is often necessary.
To address an illustration is to justify its presence, to do something with it, to give it relevance, to
relate it to the controlling idea of your essay  the thesis).
One needs, as soon as possible to work on addressing the most significant pitfall that can arise from
following this too closely: falling into the trap of thinking that every paragraph you write should be a
process of making a Point, then offering an illustration followed by an explanation. The main idea is
the following: every paragraph needs at least one point, every point benefits from information
(illustration, quotes, etc.), and all information needs to be addressed. It is quite possible to begin a
paragraph with information that leads to an explanation and then leads to a point. The point is: every
paragraph needs “something” that the “illustrations” and “explanations” relate to. Also … do not
forget that every point must support and relate to – which must be the controlling idea of your essay
(your thesis).
Finally, one can write sentences that combine points with explanations and illustrations …
Read this example
Next, Emerson shifts from the reverence and awe one might feel for the stars to reverence
for the many facets of nature down here on earth, writing that that the stars are “inaccessible,” that
we can never touch them and that, in the end, this is an essential part of the reason why they
“awaken a certain reverence” (10) He then shifts to explaining how the wise person— i.e., the person
whose mind is open to the influence of nature— recognizes that nature does not act meanly, that
nature is not a trivial toy to be played with, that nature never ceases to amaze and intrigue the
person who experiences it, and, perhaps most importantly, the truly wise person realizes the best
moments experiencing nature as an adult return one to the wonder which childhood was often filled
with, to a time before the experiences of being an adult deadened and dulled the innocence and
curiosity of childhood experiences in nature. Emerson then connects this reawakened mind to a
“most poetical sense” of how we see things. He offers the example of the woodcutter— who sees a
tree only for its potential materials— and the poet, who sees the tree for what it is: as a whole tree
with all the beauty one might associate with a tree. He further explains this poetical perception by
describing a walk through a variety of farms and woods, in which he sees all these parcels of
individually owned land as one landscape and not a landscape divided by ownership.
This paragraph is basically information (illustration)—with very little explanation (addressing) of
that information. By addressing the information, one can expand the paragraph into two
paragraphs and offer the essential analysis necessary for an “analysis essay.”
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Now Read this example
[1] Next, Emerson shifts from the reverence and awe one might feel for the stars to
reverence for the many facets of nature down here on earth, writing that that the stars are
“inaccessible,” that we can never touch them and that, in the end, this is an essential part of the
reason why they “awaken a certain reverence” (10). [2] “awaken” implying our senses and spirit
have been asleep or dulled and that through this experience those inactive senses are stirred up,
excited, and aroused. And this is precisely where Emerson associates that same awakening, that
same awe, that same reverence for the majesty of the nighttime sky with all and any “natural objects”
(10), the phrase “kindred impression” (10) connecting the stars to all “natural objects” (all of which we
can touch, unlike the stars, if we choose). “Kindred” denotes there is a definite similarity between the
stars and the natural objects of the earth, but even though they are not the same, they do, in a sense,
come from the same natural origin (later in the essay, the “Universal Being”). “Impression” indicates
the effect something has on the mind, the conscience, and one’s feelings. So, when combined in this
context, these two words indicate, once again, that Emerson is drawing a connection between the
intensity and awe we hold for the stars and the awe and reverence that we might have for any natural
object, but, for this to happen, the mind must be “open to their influence” (10). [3] “Influence” is the
key word here, for it indicates that experiencing these natural objects and surroundings can affect
one’s moods and feelings, that one can experience the same awe for the stars in the entirety of
nature if one is open to seeing that influence, that, ultimately, nature is as grand and awe-inspiring
as those stars (and, by connection, one can also experience God in and through nature).
[4] Emerson then shifts to explaining how the wise person— i.e., the person whose mind is
open to the influence of nature— recognizes that nature does not act meanly, that nature is not a
trivial toy to be played with, that nature never ceases to amaze and intrigue the person who
experiences it, and, perhaps most importantly, the truly wise person realizes the best moments
experiencing nature as an adult return one to the wonder which childhood was often filled with, to a
time before the experiences of being an adult deadened and dulled the innocence and curiosity of
childhood experiences in nature. [5] In other words, one of the deepest consequences of opening
one’s mind to the influence of nature is that it awakens, in part, some of that lost wonder of our
childhood. [6] Emerson then connects this reawakened mind to a “most poetical sense” of how we
see things. [7] To see things poetically is to see them as they are and not in an analytical or purely
functional way; the poet sees nature in its entirety and not by its material divisions. [8] He offers the
example of the woodcutter— who sees a tree only for its potential materials— and the poet, who
sees the tree for what it is: as a whole tree with all the beauty one might associate with a tree— as
well as a “natural object” that shares a “kindred impression” with the stars that invokes a sense of
awe, reverence and wonder. [9] He further explains this poetical perception by describing a walk
through a variety of farms and woods, in which he sees all these parcels of individually owned land
as one landscape and not a landscape divided by ownership. [10] The poetically-awakened mind
realizes one can possess a deed to some land, but one can never own the landscape, the view, the
experience (and the awe and the wonder it can invoke if one’s mind is open to the influence).
[1] This sentence serves as both a point and an illustration.
[2] These sentences address, explain and analyze what Emerson says about the connection between the stars in
the heavens and the awe and reverence we can have for all the natural “objects” down here on the earth if our
minds are open to their influence. It does so, in part, by defining and analyzing key words and phrases that are
essential. Keep in mind that these sentences employ both “illustration” and “explanation.”
[3] This sentence also makes a point – and it offers a mini-conclusion for the paragraph which began with a
sentence about how the stars invoke reverence and now ends with a sentence that shows how that awe can be
experienced in all natural objects if one’s mind is open to the influence.
[4] This sentence is simultaneously a point, information, and a little bit of explanation. You should notice that
instead of directly quoting Emerson, it summarizes what Emerson says. You always have the option to do this—
but you must be careful that your summary is accurate Also, the sentence serves as a transition from the.
[5] Addressing, analyzing and explaining
[6] Information
[7] Addressing, analyzing and explaining
[8] Information + Addressing, analyzing and explaining
[9] Information
[10] Addressing, analyzing and explaining
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Should I paraphrase, summarize, or quote?
In general, use direct quotations only if you have a good reason. Most of your paper should be in your own words.
In research papers, you should quote from a source (as quoted from Harvard.edu):
 When you plan to discuss the actual language of a text.
 When you are discussing an author’s position or theory and you plan to discuss the wording of a core
assertion or kernel of the argument in your paper.
 When you risk losing the essence of the author’s ideas in the translation from her words to your own.
 When you want to appeal to the authority of the author and using his or her words will emphasize that
authority.
You should summarize or paraphrase when
 What you want from the source is the idea expressed, and not the specific language used to express it
 You can express in fewer words what the key point of a source is
Distinctions between Quotation, Paraphrase, and Summary:
Quotation: an exact duplication of the author’s words as they appear in original source. Must be cited. In the pages
that follow, you will find all the necessary rules and proper formatting conventions.
Paraphrase: a restatement of the author’s words in your own words. Must be cited (no quotation marks).
Summary: a brief condensation of the main point of the original source. No citation or quotation marks required;
however, for hopefully obvious reasons, you should include the names(s) of the author(s) and the title (so that your
reader knows what you are actually summarizing).
Examples of Paraphrasing and Summarizing [Examples adapted from Owl.purdue.edu]
The original passage: Students frequently overuse direct quotation in taking notes, and as a result they overuse
quotations in the final [research] paper. Probably only about 10% of your final manuscript should appear as directly
quoted matter. Therefore, you should strive to limit the amount of exact transcribing of source materials while
taking notes. From: [Lester, James D. Writing Research Papers. 2nd ed. (1976): 46-47.]
A legitimate paraphrase: In research papers students often quote excessively, failing to keep quoted material down
to a desirable level. Since the problem usually originates during note taking, it is essential to minimize the material
recorded verbatim (Lester 46-47).
An acceptable summary: In Writing Research Papers, James D. Lester cautions students to just take a few notes in
direct quotation from sources to help minimize the amount of quoted material in their research paper (Lester 46-
47).
A plagiarized version: Students often use too many direct quotations when they take notes, resulting in too many
of them in the final research paper. In fact, probably only about 10-20% of the final copy should consist of directly
quoted material. So it is important to limit the amount of source material copied while taking notes.
Acquiring Basic Factual Knowledge and Making It Your Own
As you work on your research, you will learn factual things such as the requirements for growing roses or the
symbolic meaning behind different kinds of stones in a Zen garden. This is not the kind of information that you
should be quoting, summarizing, or paraphrasing. You should incorporate such facts into your general knowledge
and write about them entirely in your own words. For example, you might visit Wikipedia. org and learn about the
overall history of how gardens have evolved. That is a fact-finding endeavor. Such information is not unique to
Wikipedia.org. You, in a sense, have learned about something. However, if you use this new knowledge and do not
write what you have learned entirely in your own words, then you have plagiarized.
The Tricky Part Is
1. The majority of your essay needs to be written by you. 2. You should only quote, paraphrase, or summarize when
you are providing something useful to your essay. 3. You should not quote basic information / facts.
4. If you just cut and paste those basic facts that you have found or simply change around some words without
properly citing the source, then you have plagiarized.
For example, if you learned from Wikipedia.org that Columbus first sailed to what he thought was India in 1492,
you would not quote that information. Part of doing research is learning the knowledge and basic facts necessary
for writing about the topic.
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CITING SOURCES IN-TEXT – Contextualizing Sources
From now on, you are no longer allowed to do the following:
“My experience as a gardener has taught me that nature resents our presence. She deploys her various agents to
undo our work in the garden” (Pollan 27). This quote means that Pollan thinks that nature resents gardeners so it
sends things to undo the garden.
(A) You are not allowed to leave a quotation floating around by itself.
(B) You must find a way to provide context for the quote by either introducing it or integrating it into the flow of
your own sentence. [context = the parts of something written or spoken that immediately precede and follow a word or
passage and clarify its meaning and justify its presence]
(C) You should not use a quotation that includes more than one sentence unless you are blocking that quote.
(D) Do not refer to the quote as a quote or quotation.
(E) Your explanation cannot just be a restatement of what the writer said. You need to explain what the quotation
means; in other words, you need to provide relevance for the quotation.
Context = the parts of something written or spoken that immediately precede and follow a word or passage and clarify its
meaning and justify its presence
Relevance = importance to the matter at hand, to what you are writing about
1. So and so says, According to so and so, As so and so says
At the very least, whenever you include a quotation in your writing, you need to set it up with some simple
context. The most common way is to use the author’s name followed by a verb.
The format = So and so + verb + comma + “quotation” + (citation).
So and so + verb + that + “quotation” + (citation).  note no comma when you use “that” after the verb
According to so and so + verb + comma + “quotation” + (citation).
As so and so + verb + comma + “quotation” + (citation).
Some examples:
 Emerson explains, “[to] go into solitude, a man needs to retire as much from his chamber as from society” (10).
 Emerson explains, to “go into solitude, a man needs to retire as much from his chamber as from society” (10).
 According to Emerson, to “go into solitude, a man needs to retire as much from his chamber as from society” (10).
However, your writing will be stronger and more varied if you build in context for the quotation before you use it.
In the examples above, you are only offering the context of who said it. Sometimes this is all you need; however,
when possible, you should consider providing more. This can be accomplished by using the “so and so says”
format AND adding some modification which provides context.
Some examples:
 Emerson, describing a very certain quality of solitude, explains that to “go into solitude, a man needs to retire
as much from his chamber as from society” (10).
 Emerson, who will later in his essay deeply connect with God though nature while he takes a walk alone,
explains, to “go into solitude, a man needs to retire as much from his chamber as from society” (10).
Use a comma to separate your own words from the quotation when your introductory phrase ends with a verb such
as adds, compares, clarifies, confirms, responds, wonders, emphasizes, acknowledges, refutes, mentions, implies,
asserts, doubts, rejects, comments, admits, agrees, suggests, challenges, observes, writes, endorses, illustrates,
denies, insists, hopes, disputes, refers to, reasons, concludes, argues, reports, feels, claims, judges, implies. (Note:
make sure that you know the definition for the word you choose to use.)
Weak: In Michael Pollan’s article “Gardening Means War,” he concludes that “the key to eliminating an insect
from the garden is knowledge: about its habits, preferences and vulnerabilities” (29).
Stronger: In his article “Gardening Means War,” Michael Pollan concludes that “the key to eliminating an insect
from the garden is knowledge: about its habits, preferences and vulnerabilities” (29).
*********************************************************************************************
Does not work: According to Michael Pollan, in his essay titled “Gardening Means War,” he says, “the key to
eliminating an insect from the garden is knowledge: about its habits, preferences and vulnerabilities” (29).
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Fixed: According to Michael Pollan, “the key to eliminating an insect from the garden is knowledge: about its
habits, preferences and vulnerabilities” (29).
Fixed: In his essay titled “Gardening Means War,” Michael Pollan writes, “the key to eliminating an insect from the
garden is knowledge: about its habits, preferences and vulnerabilities” (29).
——————————————————————————————————————————————
2. Using a full sentence to set up the quotation: If you do not already do so, you should start utilizing the
technique of providing a full sentence before the quotation, a sentence which provides your reader with some
helpful context.
The format = full sentence + colon + “quotation” + (citation).
Emerson, who later experiences a very deep connection with God while in solitude, begins his essay by
explaining how to achieve a certain quality of solitude: to “go into solitude, a man needs to retire as much from
his chamber as from society” (10).
——————————————————————————————————————————————
3. Integrating a quotation: This is the most varied way to use a quotation in your writing—and when used well,
it can be the most effective way to provide context and / or address your quotation.
The Basic Rules
 You choose to include the parts of the quotation that (1) are the most relevant to what you are doing with the
quotation and (2) will fit as seamlessly as possible into the grammatical flow of your sentence (and this, for many
writers, will be the most challenging part).
 Indeed, you must make sure that whatever words you include fit the grammatical structure of all the overall
sentence.
 You get to choose and use whichever words or phrases you want to include.
 You can open and close the quotation wherever and whenever necessary so that you can (1) add your own
words, (2) change a word or phrase so that the quote fits the grammatical flow of your sentence, and / or (3) you
can omit whatever words you think are unnecessary. However, you must make sure that you do not alter the
original meaning of what you are quoting.
 When you integrate the words of the quotation into your sentence, place the citation at the end of your
sentence (unless you are quoting from different sources or different pages within that sentence—and then place
the citations after each different source).
Example
Emerson begins his essay by explaining that “to go into solitude” one does not just “retire as much from his
chamber,” his home, but also must disconnect “from society” (10). Emerson further explains that he is not
“solitary whilst” he reads and writes, “though nobody is with him” (10). In other words, to achieve this particular
quality of solitude, one must physically leave one’s home and mentally disconnect, for even when one is writing
and reading one is still connected to thoughts of civilization. Later in the essay, he will go for a walk away from
home, away from society and experience nature in solitude—and, in those moments, he will deeply connect with
God, so this quality of solitude will play an important role in those moments when he later becomes a “transparent
eyeball” and “part and particle of God” (10). Next, Emerson explains that if one wants to experience true solitude,
one should “look at the stars,” whose “rays that come from those heavenly worlds, will separate between him and
what he touches” (10). Here, we see Emerson introduce us to the awe that the many stars of the nighttime sky
evoke in us. They are so awe inspiring that we “might think the atmosphere was made transparent with this
design, to give” us, “in the heavenly bodies, the perpetual presence of the sublime” (10). Sublime is the most
important word here, for it not only means the beauty of the stars but also the slight fear that such awesomeness
also evokes.
——————————————————————————————————————————————
4. Blockquoting
The Basic Rules
 If the quotation takes up four or more lines, you must block the quote. However, if you wish, you may also
block a quote that takes up less than four lines.
 Do not include quotation marks with a blockquote (unless what you are quoting includes quotation marks).
The blockquote means that you are quoting something.
 Punctuation of Citation = do not put a period after the citation when you are block quoting. It is separate from
the blockquote.
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The Basic Formula
provide substantial context before the quote, ending that context with a full sentence that introduces and sets up
the blockquote that follow.
Context context context context context context Context context context context context context Context
context context context context context. Context context context context context context Context context context
context context context. Context context context context context context Context context context context context
context Context context context context context context. Full sentence that sets up the quotation:
Quotation quotation quotation quotation quotation quotation quotation
quotation Quotation quotation quotation quotation quotation quotation
quotation quotation. Quotation quotation quotation quotation quotation
quotation quotation quotation. Quotation quotation quotation quotation
quotation quotation quotation quotation quotation quotation quotation
quotation quotation. (citation)
Address the quote address the quote address the quote address the quote address the quote address the quote
address the quote address the quote address the quote address the quote address the quote address the quote
address the quote address the quote address the quote address the quote address the quote address the quote
address the quote address the quote address the quote address the quote address the quote address the quote
address the quote.
Example
And it is in this state of “perfect exhilaration” that one returns to reason and faith, these words being
essential because, for Emerson and his fellow transcendentalists, the spiritual and the scientific were never in
competition with one another. For some, this might be difficult to understand— especially since he is about to
speak about his very deep, mystical connection with nature in exceptionally poetic terms— but that poetic outlook
is exactly what fuels his direct experience. It may be poetic, but it is also reasoned through a connection to what is
there. And with this focused attention on his surroundings, he then writes about the intensity of his connection
to both the natural landscape and God:
There I feel that nothing can befall me in life, — no disgrace, no calamity,
(leaving me my eyes,) which nature cannot repair. Standing on the bare
ground, — my head bathed by the blithe air, and uplifted into infinite space, —
all mean egotism vanishes. I become a transparent eye-ball; I am nothing; I
see all; the currents of the Universal Being circulate through me; I am part or
particle of God. (10)
When one considers the reverence, the childhood wonder, and the most poetical sense of mind that he has
already introduced us to, one can see the absolute delight and awe he has for such an intense experience, a
moment of experience in which he fully absorbs his surroundings, the intensity of the connection itself being what
instructs and connects him. Indeed, he speaks in mystical terms, in a connection through which he purely
experiences the moment itself as if he is there, but not there, and, in that state, connects with God. In this
perennially festive moment, he lets the self, the “mean egotism” go, and it is as if he joins, in that moment, the
same “infinite space” where one would find the stars and the “city of God” (10), as if he has bridged the
“intercourse with heaven and earth” (10). To be transparent is to be opaque, as if you are there but cannot be
seen. One might also think of a substance like water which is sheer and allows light to shine through, as if in those
moments the light of everything in the universe, viz., the “Universal Being,” radiate through him thus allowing him
to absorb everything in his surroundings. The “eye,” the organ through which we see, can also be seen as a pun on
the personal pronoun “I,” which connects this experience to the self, and, as a result, the self, the “I,” is also made
transparent and one then becomes nothing, as if one is no longer there, and then becomes a “part” of God or a
minute particle of God, both indicating that he has connected and become part of nature and part of God. At the
very least, one sees the absolute intensity by which he finds this connection, one that is bound to reverence, to
wonder, and to a most distinctly poetical sense of mind.
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THE MECHANICS OF IN-TEXT CITATIONS
Basically, when you cite a quotation that you are using in your essay, you are providing an abbreviated reference to the
full information you will provide in your Works Cited page. For most printed sources you will know the author’s name
and the page number (and title). Depending on certain factors, that will be the information you will be using. Most of
the rule for MLA are very straightforward. We will begin with those and then move on to the exceptions.
The goal is to always provide the least amount of information necessary to make it clear to your reader what the
source is (and that minimal information must clearly refer to the full citation in your works cited page).
We must not forget the “defining characteristic of the garden” is that, “in essence, it is an imposition on nature, one that will only
sustain its imposition if one is willing to do the labor necessary to keep its form, its shape” (Fitzgerald 79).
The full works cited page for this source would be the following:
Fitzgerald, William. “The Impermanence of Order: The True Nature of Gardens.” English 1A Course Reader. edited by Nathan Wirth,
Novato, Nathan’s Mind Inc., 2019. pp. 78-81.
In this case, you have provided the author’s last name and the page number from the full citation above.
However, providing more information about the writer in the sentence can be helpful, particularly if you want your
reader to know more about the source you are quoting.
In his 19th century essay Nature, the American transcendentalist Ralph Waldo Emerson writes, “nothing can befall me in life, — no
disgrace, no calamity, (leaving me my eyes,) which nature cannot repair” (8).
Basic Formatting Rules for In-Text Citations (Where to Place Citation in the Sentence)
1. When the quotation ends the sentence, the end-of-the-sentence punctuation must be placed
after the citation. The citation is part of the sentence.
————————————————————————————————————————————————
Correct: Pollan writes, “My experience as a gardener has taught me that nature resents our presence” (28).
————————————————————————————————————————————————
Incorrect: Pollan writes, “My experience as a gardener has taught me that nature resents our presence (28).”
Incorrect: Pollan writes, “My experience as a gardener has taught me that nature resents our presence. (28).”
Incorrect: Pollan writes, “My experience as a gardener has taught me that nature resents our presence.” (28).
2. Place the citation at the end of the quotation if the quotation appears elsewhere in the sentence.
Robert Pogue Harrison, an Italian literature professor at Stanford University, writes about his fascination with New York
slum gardens, which are made up of “largely random material such as toys, stuffed animals, flags, found objects, milk
cartons, recycled trash, piles of leaves” (41); in other words, even though this gathering of items seems un-gardenly, it
retains the spirit of organization, presentation and creation that all gardens possess.
3. If, within the same sentence, you quote from the same source but from two different pages, then
provide the page numbers in the citations after each quotation.
Parker, arguing that gardening is a waste of time for most people, insists that we “still need gardens because they
remind us of our connection to the earth” (21), an observation that he feels “justifies the ridiculously large gardening
industry that makes its profits off selling plants to people who don’t even bother to figure out how to keep them alive”
(6).
4. When you integrate a quotation into your sentence and open and close it in order to add or
change words, then place the citation at the end of the last part of the integrated quotation.
We must not forget the “defining characteristic of the garden” is that, “in essence, it is an imposition on nature, one that
will only sustain its imposition if one is willing to do the labor necessary to keep its form, its shape” (Fitzgerald 79).
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Other Things to Consider
If you do not know the author’s name, then use an abbreviated title and the page number if provided
Article “Gardening in the 21st Century: A Manual for the Newbie” = (“Gardening in the 21st Century” 15).
Book A Rose Is a Rose Is a Rose if a Rose Is a Rose = (A Rose Is a Rose 94)
If you do not know the author’s name and the page number, then use an abbreviated title
Article “Gardening in the 21st Century: A Manual for the Newbie” = (“Gardening in the 21st Century”).
Book A Rose Is a Rose Is a Rose if a Rose Is a Rose = (A Rose Is a Rose)
If the article has an author but no page number, then only use the author’s last name (Smith)
Multiple Authors / Authors with the Same Name
 If there are two authors for the source, then provide their last names. Ex: (Hunter and Garcia 15)
 If there are there or more authors, then only include the last name of the first listed author followed by “et al.” Ex:
(Weir et al. 38).
 If you should happen to encounter two different sources whose authors share the last name, then provide the first
initial to indicate which one you have quoted. (J. Page 17) (B. Page 18)
Quoting from More Than One Source by the Same Author
If you are quoting from more than one source by the same author, then provide a short abbreviation of the title of the
works so that your reader can differentiate between them. You can also make it clear which source you are quoting by
giving your reader this information in the sentence.
Greg Smith argues, in his book Tomatoes on the Frontline, that scientists “need to pay more attention
to the flavor of tomatoes” (18). However, he later admits, in an article he wrote for The New York Times,
that “farmers cannot just abandon these new advantages” because they “will no longer be able to sustain
a large enough yield to stay in business” (“Yielding” 5).
Please note that, in each of these situations, you can either provide the name(s) in the context of the sentence or in the citation.
However, do not do both. And the page number, if known, must be included.
Quoting from Dictionaries (Print or Online)
When you provide a dictionary definition, I want you to provide a signal phrase that tells us which dictionary you used or
place it in a citation at the end of the sentence.
Italicize titles of dictionaries (book or website)!!
Ex: One of the odder sounding words in the English language is flibbertigibbet, which means “a chattering or flighty,
light-headed person” (dictionary.com).
Ex: One of the odder sounding words in the English language is flibbertigibbet, which means “a chattering or flighty,
light-headed person” (Webster’s College Dictionary).
Indirect Sources (a source referenced within a source)
 You are reading an article titled “Garden Is Food” written by Willy Weedman and come upon a quote from a different
writer than the author of the article (in other words, the author of the article has quoted another writer). That writer’s
name is Samuel Johnson. There are two ways to deal with quoting that source.
(a) Include the name of the writer that you are quoting in your signal sentence and then cite the source in the usual way
except, in this case, also add qtd.
Samuel Johnson argues that “gardens are only good for growing herbs” (qtd. In Weedmen 19).
(b) Do some extra research and find the actual source and include it as one of your required sources and then follow the
general rules for citing that particular source.
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Downloaded Online Files of Sources (e.g. pdfs and word docs)
If you download an article / essay from an online resource (e.g. databases), then follow all the same rules as the printed
sources. These kinds of sources tend to have page numbers. Please note that you still need to follow the correct format
for citing it as a web source in your works cited page. Refer to the examples in this course reader for more information.
Websites or Articles Found through a Database and No Page Numbers Are Provided
 Typically, you cannot provide a page number for websites because, usually, they are not paginated.
 Typically, you will know the author’s name and the title of the article. In these cases, you can either:
(a) mention the author’s name in your sentence and then provide an abbreviated version of the title in the
parentheses.
 Swift argues that “tomatoes are a juicy invitation to experience the soul of the salad” (“Tomatoes from the
Heart”)
 Note: the full title of the article is “Tomatoes from the Heart and Other Salad Observations” and the author
is Benjamin Swift.
(b) provide the author’s last name, a comma, and an abbreviated version of the title in the parentheses.
When one thinks about the flavorless tomato, one is reminded of “a watery cup of weak coffee that seemed
to have promised a chance to begin the morning right but, instead, only provided a hot cup of dirty looking
water” (Winslet, Homegrown)
 Note: the full title of the book is Homegrown Secrets from My Garden and the author is Kate Winslet.
In-text Citations: “When” and “What” to Put in the Parentheses
1. Note: Anything you provide in your sentence should not be included in the citation.
2. If your source has a page number and author, follow the rules outlined in Basic Formatting Rules for In-Text
Citations
3. If your source has no author or page numbers, follow the rules outlined in What to Do When There is No Author or
Page Number to Reference
4. If your source was found online, follow the rules outlined in In-text Citations for Online Sources
5. In order to decide whether you are supposed to include the author’s last name in the citation or not, look at the net
page: Citing Sources in Your Essay as You Move Between Different Sources
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Citing Sources in Your Essay as You Move Between Different Sources
STEP ONE: First Time You Quote from a Source
 Ask Yourself if your reader needs to know (a) the author’s full name, (b) something relevant about the author, (c) the
title of the source, (d) something relevant about that source (context for the source).
 None of these are required—but each is worth considering, and, often, you should consider including this information
in order to build context and relevance for your quotation. Refer, in this Course Reader, to the sections about MLA:
Integrating Sources for different methods to contextualize and set up your quotations.
 You are, however, REQUIRED to include, at the very least, the author’s last name and the page number (if known).
Refer to the previous sections for those sources in which you do not know the page number or author.
 Always place the page number in the citation (parentheses). Do not include the page number in your sentence.
The source for these examples is a book titled The Rise of the Corporate Farm by James Fortini
Example One (Full Name, Something Relevant about the Author)
James Fortini, a Botanist and author who explores how the rise of corporate farms have led to an increase in flavorless
tomatoes, writes about “how these large farms are far more concerned with how the tomato looks at the supermarket
than how it tastes in your salad” (145).
Example Two (Title of the Source, Author’s Full Name)
In his book The Rise of the Corporate Farm, James Fortini writes about “how these large farms are far more concerned
with how the tomato looks at the supermarket than how it tastes in your salad” (145).
Example Three (Title of the Source, Something Relevant about the Source to Provide Context, Author’s Full Name)
In The Rise of the Corporate Farm, which chronicles how the rise of corporate farms have led to an increase in flavorless
tomatoes, James Fortini writes, “these large farms are far more concerned with how the tomato looks at the supermarket
than how it tastes in your salad” (145).
Example Four (Minimum Requirement Placed in the Citation – Author’s Last Name, Page Number)
In the twentieth century, the rise of corporate farms led to an increase in flavorless tomatoes; moreover, “these large
farms” have become “far more concerned with how the tomato looks at the supermarket than how it tastes in your
salad” (Fortini 145).
Important: Please keep in mind that if you choose not to provide the author’s full name and/or the title of the source the
first time you quote from it, then do not provide that information later in the essay if you quote from that source again.
STEP TWO: Each Subsequent Time You Quote from That Source
How you cite a source when you quote from it again depends on
(a) Whether you have not quoted from an alternate source before quoting from this source again
(b) Whether you have quoted from an alternate source since quoting from this source
A. You have Not Quoted from an Alternate Source Before Quoting from This Source Again
If you have not quoted from any alternate sources before quoting this source, then, if you know the page number, you
only need to provide that in the citation. If you do not know the page number, then you need to follow one of the
exceptions listed below. Consider the following to help you decide what to include.
 If you know the author, title and page number, then only use the page number  (149)
Full Source = A book titled: The Rise of the Corporate Farm by James Fortini
 If you know the author and title but not the page number, then use only the author’s last name  (Parker)
Full Source = An article titled: “The Tomato and the Radioactive Spider” by Peter Parker (no page numbers)
 If you know the title but not the author and page number, then use only an abbreviated title  (“Tomatoes Today”)
Full Source = An article titled: “Tomatoes Today: Appearance Trumps Flavor” (No author stated / No page numbers)
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B. You Have Quoted from an Alternate Source Since Quoting from This Source Again
You know the author, title and page number = last name + page number (Fortini 37)
Full Source = A book titled: The Rise of the Corporate Farm by James Fortini
You know the author and title but not the page number = last name (Parker)
Full Source = An article titled: “The Tomato and the Radioactive Spider” by Peter Parker (no page numbers)
You know the title and page number but not the author = abbreviated title + page number (“21st Century Tomato” 3)
Full Source = An article titled: “The 21st Century Tomato: Say Goodbye to Flavor” (No author – But Has Page Numbers)
You know the title but not the author and page number = abbreviated title  (“Tomatoes Today”)
Full Source = An article titled: “Tomatoes Today: Appearance Trumps Flavor” (No author stated / No page numbers)
 Remember: whatever you include in your sentence do not include in the citation (the parentheses)
 When you quote from a previously quoted source, you can use the author’s last name in the sentence if you wish.
Example One (Author’s Last Name Mentioned in the Sentence)
Fortini builds on his previous claim about this unacceptable trade off by suggesting we “might then consider purchasing our
tomatoes directly from the farm or, at the very least, from a Farmer’s Market” (149).
Example Two (Author’s last Name NOT Mentioned in Sentence)
Since large corporate farms seem determined to continue to choose the appearance of the tomato over its flavor, we
“might then consider purchasing our tomatoes directly from the farm or, at the very least, from a Farmer’s Market” (Fortni
149).
Example of Citing Sources in Your Essay as You Move Between Different Sources
Please note that, for the sake of providing an example, I have used more quotations than you should EVER include in a
paragraph. DO NOT INCLUDE THIS MANY QUOTATIONS IN A PARAGRAPH!
———————————————
Kate Winslet, in her book Homegrown Secrets from My Garden, reminds us that tomatoes, when grown in the home, are
filled with a flavor that reminds one of “childhood summer days spent frolicking in the hot summer sun” (14). Indeed,
commercial tomatoes, which taste like little more than water, used to be “as sweet as one’s memories of grandfathers who
gardened and grandmothers who baked” (16). Nowadays, however, as Robinson Smith suggests in his article “Genetic Art:
The Death of Flavor,” tomatoes look like beautiful “red clusters of genetically engineered art” (12), but taste like “plastic
bags filled with water and seeds” (19). All of this suggests that consumers are far more interested in the appearance than
the taste of the tomato, a point that Fergie Fergussen, in her posthumous autobiography, agrees with when she says, “we
have surrendered the perfection of the summer flavor that seems to spill from the homegrown tomato, regardless of how
rough around the edges it may be, for the plasticity of the store bought tomato, which taunts us with its illusionary
perfection as if it had undergone plastic surgery but we are just too tired to notice” (89). We must never forget “nature
herself knows how to produce the fullest, sweetest flavor better than any of us” (Winslet 29), so if it is flavor we wish to
preserve, we should leave that to Mother Nature. Moreover, we must never let go of the fact that “industry only wishes to
turn a profit,” so if we wish to encourage modern farmers to return to more natural methods, we can send “a message that
we no longer want flavorless tomatoes by no longer buying them” (modernagriculture.com). The choice can still belong to
the consumer.
Sources Used in the Paragraph
1. A book Homegrown Secrets from My Garden, by Kate Winslet
2. An article  “Genetic Art: The Death of Flavor” by Robinson Smith. The article– which was published in a journal and
later electronically stored– was downloaded from a database as a pdf.
3. An eBook Gardeners Never Cry by Fergie Fergussen
4. A source with no title and no author found on the following website
https://monkessays.com/write-my-essay/modernagriculture.com/stuff/what?/@35674%%$#000000456790@00000
Note: Even though sources 2 and 3 come from electronic and/or online sources, when citing them in-text, you still use author
and page number. You will need to specify the nature of the source in your works cited page.
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Formatting the Works Cited Page: Italicizing Sources or Using “Quotation Marks”
(These conventions apply when you use the titles in the text of your essay and the works cited page)
I. Italicize the following titles of the following types of sources (MLA convention no longer accepts underlining for titles)
Movies: Avatar, The Thin Red Line, The Godfather, Mulholland Drive, When Harry Met Sally
Books: The Oxford English Dictionary, Walden, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek
TV Shows/Radio Programs: Lost, Survivor, Twin Peaks, 60 Minutes, Fresh Air
Magazines: People, Time, Rolling Stone, Teen, Cosmopolitan, Vogue
Newspapers: The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Christian Science Monitor
Websites When Used as Sources: nytimes.org, wikipedia.org, ccsf.edu
Plays: Waiting for Godot, Death of a Salesman, Romeo and Juliet
Albums/CDs: American Beauty, Natty Dread, After the Goldrush, Blood on the Tracks
Pamphlets: New Developments in AIDS Research, Common Sense
Famous Speeches: Letter from Birmingham Jail, The Gettysburg Address
Names of Vehicles: The U.S.S. Enterprise, Titanic, Challenger
Note: Sacred Texts such as The Bible or The Koran are neither underlined nor italicized unless you are referring to a
specific published edition (e.g. The King James Bible, The New Riverside Koran).
II. Use quotation marks for the titles of the following sources
Essays/Articles: “Gardening Means War,” “Two Gardens”
(Exception to the rule: if the essay is lengthy, such as, for example. Emerson’s Nature, then italicize it)
Poems: “Nothing Gold Can Stay,” “Blackberry Picking,” “A Dream Deferred”
(Exception to the rule: if the poem is lengthy, such as, for example. Milton’s Paradise Lost, then italicize it)
Song Titles: “Jumping Jack Flash,” “In My Life,” “No Woman, No Cry” “Moondance”
Short Story Titles: “A Rose for Emily,” “A Good Man is Hard to Find,” “Araby”
Capitalize all the words in the title except for the following words:
Articles (the, a, an) unless it is the first word of the title
Prepositions (of, in, on, for, etc.) unless it is the first word of the title
Conjunctions (and, or, etc.) unless it is the first word of the title
Exceptions to the Rules
 If the original title capitalizes words that are normally not capitalized, then capitalize those words.
 If the original title does not capitalize words that are normally capitalized, then do not capitalize those words
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Formatting the Works Cited Page (Bibliography)
The in-text citation is a shorthand reference to the works cited page, where you provide all the required
information (all of which makes it as easy possible for your readers to find the source themselves so they
can read more if they wish). The Works Cited page is also sometimes referred to as the “Bibliography.”
They are both the same (I personally like “Works Cited”). Some students also include a “Works
Consulted” list, which is reserved for those sources that you may have looked over but never actually used
in your essay. Such a list, in some people’s eyes, adds more authority to your work because it indicates
the full breadth of sources you considered during your research. I’ll be honest and say that for most
sources, one of the best ways to format your citation is to use one of the many online sources that will
format the information for you. However, these citation engines do not cover all of the possible sources
that you might be using. Fortunately, this information is available from a wide variety of sources online,
so, if you are confused, some quick online research will yield many websites that can show you exactly
how to format the citation (for all the different formats, MLA, APA, Chicago, etc.). The course reader, in
the pages that follow, includes directions for and examples of a few of the most common sources you will
likely use.
Formatting Rules
1. Organize the list of works in alphabetical order by author’s last name.
2. If the author is not known, then use the title. It should be alphabetized along with the authors’ last
names. If the title begins with the, a, or an— disregard it and use the next word. For example, if the
title is “A New Approach to Genetics,” then alphabetize according to the word New.
3. If the title and author is not known— and the source is a website— then begin the citation with the
website title. If the website title begins with the, a, or an— disregard it and use the next word. For
example, if the website title is The Genetics World, then alphabetize according to the word Genetics.
Italicize the website title. This very uncommon.
4. If your citation fills up more than one line, then indent each subsequent line of the citation five
spaces. See the example on the next page
5. Do not number the sources. See the example on the next page
6. You can double space or not. I leave that choice up to you; however, other teachers may have their
own specific preferences.
7. When listing two or more sources by the same author, replace the author’s last name with three
hyphens and a period —.  and then alphabetize the sources according to the title. See the
examples on the next page.
A works cited page NEVER counts toward your minimum page requirements!
———————————————————————————–
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SAMPLE WORKS CITED PAGE
Works Cited
Cyrus, Miley. Personal Interview. 17 April 2018.
“A Disturbing Tomato Mutation.” YouTube, uploaded by TomatoYucker, 6 June 2016,
www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBlpjSEtELs. Accessed 17 Feb. 2020.
Fitzgerald, William. “The Impermanence of Order: The True Nature of Gardens.” English 1A Course
Reader, edited by Nathan Wirth, Nathan’s Mind Inc., 2019. pp. 78-81.
“The Future of the Tomato.” Future Genetics 24 Dec. 2012,
futuregenetics.com/articles/@34567%&00004/futuregentics.htm. Accessed 2 May 2018.
Grizzly Man. Dir. Werner Herzog. Lions Gate Films, 2005.
Pollan, Michael. The Botany of Desire. Atlantic Monthly Press, 2001.
—. “Gardening Means War.” English 1A Course Reader, edited by Nathan Wirth, Nathan’s
Mind Inc., 2020, pp. 87-89.
Roma, Allan. Tomatoes in Crisis. Binghamton UP, 2003. eBook.
Salsa, Frances Spicy. The Death of Flavor: Modern Practices in Farming. Chronicle Books, 2001.
Tomatillo, Arthur. “Genetics and Your Food.” New Science, 12 June 2004, pp 85-96.
—. “Genetics for the Future.” Genetics Today & Tomorrow, vol. 48, no. 1, 2007, pp. 173-96.
ProQuest, doi:10.1017/S0018246X06005966. Accessed 17 April 2018.
—. “A Historical Look at Genetics,” Science Forward. 14 December 2006, scienceforward.org/
articles/geneticstoday.htm. Accessed 21 April 2018.
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Basic Formatting for Common Sources
(A) Common Print Sources
(1) Book with One Author
Basic Format
Last Name, First Name. Title of Book. Publisher, Publication Date.  follow the exact format (including punctuation)
Example
Pollan, Michael. The Botany of Desire. Random House, 2001.
 Note: If the book was published before 1900, the publishing house has offices in multiple countries, or if it is
obscure publishing house, you should include the city of publication.
Basic Format
Last Name, First Name. Title of Book. City of Publication, Publisher, Publication Date.
Example
Miser, Randy. The Man Who Would Be a God. Philadelphia, Perplexia Press, 1876.
 Note: If the book has an editor, then include this information after the title of the book.
Basic Format
Last Name, First Name. Title of Book. edited by First Name Last Name, Publisher, Publication Date.
The book The Many Lives of My Life written by Johnathan Harker and edited by James T. Kirk would be formatted as 
Harker, Johnathan. The Many Lives of My Life. edited by James T. Kirk, Voyageur Press, 2004.
(2) Book with two authors (choose the same order as shown in the book. The first author’s name should be formatted
last name, first name and the second author’s name should be in normal order.
The book Bringing Up Chaos by John Zabriskie and William Holden would be formatted as 
Zabriskie, John and William Holden. Bringing Up Chaos. Island Press, 1976.
(3) Book with three or more authors (list the first author’s name—last name, first name— and then use a comma
followed with et al. to represent the rest of the author’s names).
The book Our Lives as Mountain Goats by Mary Masterson, Jonathan Harker and Jose Saramango would be formatted
as
Masterson, Mary, et al. Our Lives as Mountain Goats. Yale UP, 1995.
(4) A Source found in an Anthology or Collection
Basic Format
Last Name, First Name. “Title of Essay.” Title of Anthology, edited by Name(s) of Editor(s), Publisher,
Publication Date. page range of entry (use p. for single page or pp. for two or more pages)
If the article (a) is titled “A Poet Looks Back at His Trees,” (b) is written by William Williamson and (c) comes from pages
114-129 in a book titled Writers in Their Gardens, which is (d) edited by Marianne Wilson, that book would be formatted
as
Williamson, William. “A Poet Looks Back at His Trees.” Writers in Their Gardens, edited by Marianne
Wilson, Penguin, 2011, pp. 114-129.
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(B) Common Online Sources
(1) A Page / Article Found on a Website
Last Name, First Name. “Title of Article.” Name of Site. Publisher Name (if given), Date Published, URL, Date You
Accessed Source.
Garcia, Jerry. “My Life as a Bowl of Chili.” oddStories, 14 Aug. 2017, www.oddstories.com/life-asfood/
garcia.htm. Accessed 17 Jan 2020.
Note: sometimes some of this information is not available. List what the site offers. If there was no author for this article,
then the listing would look like this:
“My Life as a Bowl of Chili.” oddStories, 14 Aug. 2017, www.oddstories.com/life-as-food/garcia.htm.
Accessed 17 Jan 2020.
When you include the URL, omit the http:// or https://
(2) Article from a Web Magazine (or Newspaper)
Last Name, First Name. “Article Name.” Title of Web Magazine. Publisher Name (if given), Publication Date, URL, Date You
Accessed Source.
Miller, Lee. “When Tomatoes Come Home to Roost.” Modern Farmer. Farmani Inc., 15 Nov 1991,
modernfarmer.com/articles/tomatoesroost.htm, Accessed 4 Apr 2020.
(3) A source from an online Database (e.g. ProQuest, JSTOR, Ebsco Host, LexisNexis, Gale, etc.)
95% of the time, the database offers readers a link to the correctly MLA formatted citation. Use that link to copy and
paste the information into your works cited page.
Look for the following Information (not all of these will be provided or relevant to your source):
1. Author and/or editor names (if available); last names first.
2. “Article name in quotation marks”
3. Title of the website, project, or book in italics.
4. Any version numbers available, including editions (ed.), revisions, posting dates, volumes (vol.), or issue numbers
(no.).
5. Publisher information, including the publisher name and publishing date.
6. Take note of any page numbers (p. or pp.) or paragraph numbers (par. or pars.).
7. *DOI (if available), otherwise a URL (without the http:// or https://) or permalink.
8. Date you accessed the material (Date Accessed). While not required, saving this information it is highly
recommended, especially when dealing with pages that change frequently or do not have a visible copyright date.
Stevens Ruth S., et. al. “Self-Service Holds in Libraries: Is Patron Privacy Being Sacrificed for Patron
Convenience?” Reference & User Services Quarterly, vol. 52, no. 1, American Library Association,
Fall 2012, pp. 33-34. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/refuseserq.52.1.33. Accessed 12 Dec. 2019.
* A DOI, or Digital Object Identifier, is a string of numbers, letters and symbols used to permanently identify an article or
document and link to it on the web. A DOI will help your reader easily locate a document from your citation. Think of it
like a Social Security number for the article you’re citing — it will always refer to that article, and only that one.
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Punctuation: Commas, Semicolons, Colons, and Dashes
A. Commas: Contrary to common belief, commas have little to do with (1) the length of the sentence
determining a need for a comma or (2) the feeling that one needs to pause— nor are commas mysterious in
nature. They serve a very valuable and very specific purpose. They separate elements in a sentence and keep
them from crashing into each other. This is not an exhaustive list of comma usage but should be a good start.
I. Use commas to join independent clauses with a coordinating conjunction.
Independent Clause #1 CC Independent Clause #2
Mary Oliver often writes about the presence of the sacred in nature, but she never mentions god.
DO NOT FORGET – if you are using And, But, Or, Yet and your sentences share the same subject, you can drop the
second subject, BUT you must also drop the comma (because the coordinating conjunction now serves as the
joining element between two verb phrases).
Independent Clause #1 CC Independent Clause #2
John purchased several new books for his best friend, but he decided to keep them all for himself.
Subject Verb Phrase #1 CC Verb Phrase #2
John purchased several new books for his best friend but decided to keep them all for himself.
DO NOT FORGET – or be confused by the difference between a coordinating conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet,
so) and a conjunctive adverb (however, therefore, nevertheless, moreover, etc.). The conjunctive adverbs have
their own rules. See the section about them earlier in the course reader:
 John purchased several new books for his best friend, but he decided to keep them all for himself.
 John purchased several new books for his best friend; however, he decided to keep them all for himself.
II. Introductory Elements: when you include dependent clauses, various phrases, and conjunctive adverbs
before am independent clause, you should use a comma to mark the boundary between the elements (thus
separating the introductory element from the subject of the independent clause)
1. Use a comma after an introductory subordinate clause [SC + , + IC].
Subordinate Clause Independent Clause
After a consumer notices the image in an advertisement, the advertiser can then deliver the information for the
product through the text.
DO NOT FORGET – when the subordinate clause comes after the independent clause, do not use a comma (the
majority of the time).
2. Use a comma after most introductory phrases
a. Transitional Phrases (e.g. on the one hand, for example, on the contrary, in other words, etc.
On the other hand, John cannot be trusted with keeping track of his own money.
b. Verbal Phrases
Considering his options carefully, John searched through the latest class schedule.
c. Prepositional Phrases (generally speaking, only longer ones)
After a long and critically well-received career, the brilliant actress never received an Academy Award.
d. Noun Phrase Appositives
A strange and oddly dressed man, the young plumber waited for his opportunity for a makeover.
e. Absolute Phrases
His procrastination stronger than ever, the young student went dancing instead of finishing his essay.
3. Use a comma after conjunctive adverbs at the beginning of an independent clause.
 Generally, reading as much as possible will help you grow as a writer.
 However, we must look at the issue more carefully.
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III. Interrupting Elements: As you become more confident with your writing and learn how to comfortably
include elements that add detail and modify elements in your sentences (all of which have been covered in this
reader), you will need to pay close attention to where and how they interrupt and modify elements of your
sentences. In general, elements that interrupt an independent clause with additional information should be offset
with commas. If the element appears at the end of the sentence, you should precede it with a comma.
While not one hundred percent foolproof, if you can remove the interrupting element and the sentence is still
clear, you should use commas to offset the element.
1. Use a comma to offset non-restrictive adjective clauses (adj clause) in a clause.
The Sutro Baths, which were developed by the self-made millionaire Adolph Sutro, burned in 1966.
DO NOT FORGET: Non-restrictive clauses add extra, additional detail to the clauses they modify while restrictive
clauses identify the nouns they modify (and you do not separate them with commas). Also—do not forget the rule
that adjective clauses which begin with that are ALWAYS restrictive.
2. Use a comma to offset a transitional phrase in a clause.
John, in other words, cannot be trusted with keeping track of his own money.
John cannot be trusted with keeping track of his own money, for example.
3. Use a comma to offset a verbal phrase in a clause.
John, determined to find the most interesting classes, searched through the latest school schedule.
John searched through the latest class schedule, looking for classes to fit his work schedule.
4. Use a comma to offset prepositional phrases (generally speaking, only longer ones)
The brilliant actress, after a long and critically well-received career, never received an Academy Award.
5. Use a comma to offset an absolute phrase in a clause.
The young student, his procrastination stronger than ever, went dancing instead of finishing his essay.
The young studen went dancing instead of finishing his essay, his procrastination stronger than ever.
6. Use a comma to offset a noun phrase appositive in a clause.
The young plumber, an odd and strangely dressed man, waited for his opportunity for a makeover.
The hairdresser offered the young plumber her most minimal hairstyle, a clean-shaven head.
7. Use a comma to offset a conjunctive adverb in a clause.
Reading as much as possible will, generally, help you grow as a writer.
Reading as much as possible will help you grow as a writer, generally.
We, however, must look at the issue more carefully.
We must, however, look at the issue more carefully
we must look at the issue more carefully, however.
8. Use a comma to offset negation in a clause.
I want a new car, not another vacuum cleaner, for my anniversary gift.
I want a new car for my anniversary gift, not another vacuum cleaner.
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IV. Separating Elements in a List: In general, when you use three or more of the same like grammatical
structure, separate them with a commas and a coordinating conjunction (X, Y, and Z):
Hortense cried, screamed, and wailed after receiving an F in her basket weaving class.
John, Bill, and Horatio sang in the school choir throughout their years in high school.
Billy received several new video games, a complete set of Star Wars DVDs, and a handful of books for Christmas.
John pondered his options, considered some potential reactions, and prepared a plan.
After considering his options carefully, creating a plan of action, and setting it in motion, John went to bed early.
THE OXFORD COMMA refers to the comma between the second to last item in the series and the coordinating
conjunction:
 We invited the teachers, Billy, and Sammy.
If we use the Oxford comma then it is clear that you are inviting three different persons (1) some teachers, (2)
someone named Billy, and (3) someone named Sammy. If you remove the Oxford comma, then you end up with
the following We invited the teachers, Billy and Sammy.
Now, who, exactly, is being invited is no longer clear. It might still be (1) some teachers, (2) someone named Billy,
and (3) someone named Sammy—BUT without that comma it also looks like Billy and Sammy are noun phrases
appositives and, thus, those are the names of the teachers being invited. Here is an unfortunate example of the
problem, which comes from a description of a documentary about the actor Peter Ustinov:
… highlights of the global tour include encounters with Nelson Mandela, an 800-year-old
demigod and a dildo collector.
Without the Oxford comma, the sentence seems to be saying that the famous South African leader was an 800-
year-old demigod and a collector of dildos. If you include the Oxford comma then it is clear that Peter Ustinov, in his
storied life, encountered (1) Mandela, (2) an 800-year-old demigod, and (3) a dildo collector.
So … what does one do and does one have to use the Oxford comma. The answers are: (1) you do not have to use
the Oxford comma and (2) to avoid unfortunate mistakes, pay attention to what you have written and use the
Oxford comma whenever your sentence is unclear without it.
V. Using Two or More Adjectives before a Noun
Sometimes, when we are describing the nouns in our sentences, we add more than one adjective in front of a given
noun. Sometimes we separate those adjectives with a coordinating conjunction; sometimes we separate them with
a comma, and sometimes we do not separate them. The correct choice is bound to the difference between
coordinate adjectives and cumulative adjectives.
Coordinate Adjectives
Coordinate adjectives are two or more adjectives that are equally important. Most helpfully, their order can be
reversed or moved around. You can either separate them with commas or use a coordinating conjunction
 The tall, clueless, awkward man smashed his head on the cupboard door.
 The awkward, tall, clueless man smashed his head on the cupboard door.
 The tall, clueless, and awkward man smashed his head on the cupboard door
Cumulative Adjectives
Cumulative Adjectives are not equally important, and, as a result, their order cannot be reversed. DO NOT USE
commas to separate cumulative adjectives.
 John finds old wooden rollercoasters equally fun and terrifying.  CORRECT
You cannot reverse the order of the cumulative adjectives old wooden:
 John finds wooden old rollercoasters equally fun and exciting.  INCORRECT
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VI. Other Comma Use
1. Use a comma before introducing a quotation:
 Neil deGrasse Tyson once said, “the only people who still call hurricanes acts of God are the people who
write insurance forms.”
2. Use a comma to separate each element in an address.
 I work at 50 Frida Kahlo Way, San Francisco, CA. 94112
3. Use a comma after a city-state, city-country combination within a sentence.
 I would like to someday retire in Seattle, Washington.
 I have always wanted to visit Paris, France.
4. Use a comma to separate the elements in a full date (weekday, month and day, and year). Also separate a
combination of those elements from the rest of the sentence with commas.
 “March 15, 2013, was a strange day.
 Friday, March 15, 2013, was a strange day.
 Friday, March 15, was a strange day.”
Do NOT add a comma when the sentence mentions only the month and year.
 March 2013 was a strange month.
5. Use a comma when directly addressing someone in a sentence
 My dear readers, you need to look more deeply into the language our current president uses.
Not doing so can lead to unfortunate mistakes:
 Let’s eat grandma.  a call for cannibalism
 Let’s eat, grandma.  an invitation from you to your grandmother to sit down and eat a meal together
Other Punctuation Marks
I. The Semicolon
1. Use the semicolon to link two independent clauses that are VERY closely related in thought (better— use a
joining word)
 Some writers still use a typewriter; most use a word processor.
2. Use the semicolon to join two independent clauses with a conjunctive adverb or transitional phrase
 John knew he needed to study in order to pass the test; however, he went out dancing anyway.
3. Use the semicolon to separate phrases or lists that contain internal punctuation or are very long.
 My plan was to take her to a nice, but not overly expensive, dinner; go to the beach to gaze at the
nighttime stars, which, by the way, shine brightly this time of year; and end the evening by serenading
him with my Theremin.
 I need traffic data for the following international cities: London, Ontario; Paris, France; Paris, Ontario;
Perth, Scotland; Perth, Ontario.
II. The Dash
1. Consider using the dash to set off a series in the middle or end of a sentence.
 All four cities— New York, Paris, London, and Amsterdam— have amazing art museums.
 To improve our health, we should try to eat only healthy foods—vegetables, fruits, lean meats, and
nuts.
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2. Consider using the dash to set off information for emphasis
 Everything I saw in my old neighborhood—from the carousel to the park benches, bookstores and
bars—reminded me of my ex-wife.
3. Consider using it when you have a series of clauses that interrupt the subject and verb
 John— a well-known and reliable doctor who had a perfect success record until last night, a
conscientious and caring physician that always made his patients feel at ease— showed up to surgery
drunk and left his patient to die on the operating table.
III. The Colon
1. Lists/series: We covered many of the fundamentals this semester: grammar, punctuation, style, and voice.
2. Full sentence before a quote: Shakespeare explained it well: “To thine own self be true.”
3. Example/explanation example: Many graduate students discover that there is a dark side to academia: late
nights, high stress, and a crippling addiction to caffeinated beverage
Punctuation When Using Quotation Marks
Commas, periods, question marks and exclamation points go inside the quotation marks.
Incorrect: My favorite Robert Frost poem is “The Road Not Taken”.
Correct: My favorite Robert Frost poem is “The Road Not Taken.”
Incorrect: My favorite Robert Frost poem is “The Road Not Taken”, but I am also very fond of “Design”.
Correct: My favorite Robert Frost poem is “The Road Not Taken,” but I am also very fond of “Design.”
Exception to the rule: When you are citing a quotation, the sentence ending punctuation follows the citation
(parentheses).
Example: Frost realizes that someday he “shall be telling this with a sigh” (10).
Colons, semi-colons, and dashes go outside the quotation marks
Frost beings the poem with the following lines: “Nature’s first green is gold / her hardest hue to hold”; in other
words, the very first green of nature— those tender beginnings of the first leaf that sprouts from a tree after a
long winter— only lasts for the briefest of moments (1-2).
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Faulty Parallel Structure Source: The OWL at Purdue (https://owl.english.purdue.edu/).
Parallel Structure
Parallel structure means using the same pattern of words to show that two or more ideas have the same level of
importance. This can happen at the word, phrase, or clause level. The usual way to join parallel structures is with
the use of coordinating conjunctions such as “and” or “or.”
Words and Phrases
With the -ing form of words: Parallel: Mary likes hiking, swimming, and bicycling.
With infinitive phrases: Parallel: Mary likes to hike, to swim, and to ride a bicycle.
OR
Mary likes to hike, swim, and ride a bicycle.
(Note: You can use “to” before all the verbs in a sentence or only before the first one.)
Do not mix forms.
Not Parallel: Mary likes hiking, swimming, and to ride a bicycle.
Parallel: Mary likes hiking, swimming, and riding a bicycle.
Not Parallel: The production manager was asked to write his report quickly, accurately, and in a detailed way.
Parallel: The production manager was asked to write his report quickly, accurately, and thoroughly.
Not Parallel: The teacher said that he was a poor student because he waited until the last minute to study for the
exam, completed his lab problems in a careless manner, and his motivation was low.
Parallel: The teacher said that he was a poor student because he waited until the last minute to study for the
exam, completed his lab problems in a careless manner, and lacked motivation.
Clauses: A parallel structure that begins with clauses must keep on with clauses. Changing to another pattern or
changing the voice of the verb (from active to passive or vice versa) will break the parallelism.
Not Parallel: The coach told the players that they should get a lot of sleep, that they should not eat too much, and
to do some warm-up exercises before the game.
Parallel: The coach told the players that they should get a lot of sleep, that they should not eat too much, and that
they should do some warm-up exercises before the game. 0r 
Parallel: The coach told the players that they should get a lot of sleep, not eat too much, and do some warm-up
exercises before the game.
Not Parallel: The salesman expected that he would present his product at the meeting, that there would be time for
him to show his slide presentation, and that questions would be asked by prospective buyers. passive
Parallel: The salesman expected that he would present his product at the meeting, that there would be time for
him to show his slide presentation, and that prospective buyers would ask him questions.
Lists After a Colon: Be sure to keep all the elements in a list in the same form.
Not Parallel: The dictionary can be used to find these: word meanings, pronunciations, correct spellings, and
looking up irregular verbs.
Parallel: The dictionary can be used to find these: word meanings, pronunciations, correct spellings, and irregular
verbs.
Proofreading Strategies to Try
• Skim your paper, pausing at the words “and” and “or.” Check on each side of these words to see whether the
items joined are parallel. If not, make them parallel.
• If you have several items in a list, put them in a column to see if they are parallel.
Listen to the sound of the items in a list or the items being compared. Do you hear the same kinds of sounds? For
example, is there a series of “-ing” words beginning each item? Or do your hear a rhythm being repeated? If
something is breaking that rhythm or repetition of sound, check to see if it needs to be made parallel.
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Plagiarism
Any use of someone else’s words or ideas without explicit and complete documentation and acknowledgement.
Deliberate Plagiarism:
1) Buying another person’s work or soliciting another to do work for you.
2) Misrepresenting sources: making up information / sources or finding information in one source and attributing it to
another. Also, citing sources which have not been consulted is considered deliberate plagiarism. 3) Passing off the
work of other writers as your own—entire articles, paragraphs, sentences, phrases, and even ideas.
Non-Deliberate Plagiarism (Incorrect Attribution of Sources)
1) Confusing the distinctions between quoting and paraphrasing
2) Not using appropriate citation formats (refer to this reader for all the rules and conventions)
Other Forms of Plagiarism:
1) Submitting a paper written for another class or for another assignment without permission from the instructors
(self-plagiarism). 2) Allowing a friend or tutor to add text to your paper (feedback from friends / tutors is encouraged,
but all words in the paper should ultimately be your own).
Quick Guidelines for Avoiding Plagiarism
(1) Place all quoted material in quotation marks. (2) Correctly identify sources from which you paraphrase or
summarize. (3) Give credit for the creative ideas you borrow from a source, including particular uses of anecdotes or
examples. (4) When paraphrasing and summarizing, replace the structure of the passage and the language with your
own (and cite the usage). (5) Acknowledge borrowed organization— use of same subtopics or same point by-point
analysis.
Plagiarism Quiz
(1) When you use the work of another writer, you must provide documentation in all of the following cases EXCEPT
when: (a) You replicate the exact words of the author, within quotation marks (b) You use the exact ideas of the
writer but change the wording (c) You write your thoughts or reflections after reading the author’s text (d) You use
the writer’s organizational plan or examples
(2) Circle the number for each of the following acts that do constitute plagiarism (a) Meeting with another English
teacher for a consultation (b) Using the exact words of another writer, within quotation marks and with a
parenthetical citation (c) Submitting a paper turned in for another class (d) Allowing classmates in your peer review
group to comment on your paper (e) Allowing a tutor or friend to edit your paper
Identify the forms of citation used for the following passage:
Passage: Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains. Many a man believes himself to be the master of others
who is no less than they, a slave. How did this change take place? I do not know. What can make it legitimate? To this
question I hope to be able to furnish an answer.
1. In an essay examining the relationship of humanity and society, Rousseau asserts that “man is born free, and
everywhere he is in chains” (57). (a) Paraphrase (b) Quotation (c) Summary
2. Rousseau suggests that, although they come into the world uninhibited, human beings find themselves universally
oppressed (57). (a) Paraphrase (b) Quotation (c) Summary
3. In his essay, “The Origin of Civil Society,” Rousseau questions his observations of humanity, which indicate that a
person’s free nature and his or her actual social status are in conflict. (a) Paraphrase (b) Quotation (c) Summary
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A Friendly Breakdown of How Emerson’s Nature Works
What do you need to cover? These are the essential elements of Emerson’s essay.
• Emerson begins the essay by explaining how to achieve a certain quality of solitude, one that he will achieve
later in his essay when he becomes a transparent eyeball.
• He explains that if one wishes to achieve that quality of solitude, one must leave behind a
connection to people (society, reading, writing, one’s home)
• To find true solitude one only need look at the stars
• The stars fill us with awe the make one feel like the stars separate us from them
• (with a “transparent” atmosphere – later connects to “transparent eyeball”
• Call the stars a “City of God”  later calls the woods / nature “plantations of God”
• The stars invoke a sense of awe, for we cannot access them– thus, in their presence, we feel respect and
reverence
• We can feel a similar kind of awe for all of nature down here on earth if we are open to the influence of
nature
• Nature is never mean (it never “wears a mean appearance”  later connects to “nature wears the
colors of our spirit”)
• The “wise man” (the person whose mind is open to the influence of nature
• Never tires of nature – always feels wonder
• Never tries to forcefully take nature’s secrets
• Never treats it like a toy
• Always feels a continual wonder for it – much like the wonder most people have in
childhood (but not the same exact thing – we are now adults!)
• The person who sees in this way sees poetically (sees nature in terms of the wonder and beauty it invokes)
• Offers examples of
• Tree
• Woodcutter who sees a tree as material / wood that can be used and / or sold
• Poet sees the tree with a sense of awe– for the beauty, for the awe and reverence it
invokes
• The Landscape
• He takes a walk through the farmland and realizes individuals lay claim to fields and woods,
but these people can never own the landscape (the view / the experience of it). The poet
sees the land as nature—as worthy of reverence – the owners sees as property
• Most people, Emerson argues, never “see” nature (this IMPLIES that they do not see it more deeply– do not
see it with the heart of a poet). They of course can physically “see” it …
• Offers example that adults only see the sun superficially– while the sun shines both in the inner
(heart) and outer (eyes) of children
• The person who loves nature (open to influence / the poet / etc.) — has an adjusted
experience of outer and inner senses
• That person retains some of the wonder he/she experienced as a child
• That person experiences an awe for nature on earth and in the heavens – and those
experiences are a kind of nourishment (spiritual)
• It as if nature says you are mine  personification
• A person feeling sad can feel nature uplifting him / her sometimes
• Nature fits happiness and melancholy
• Nature can feel like a cordial (a little medicine)
• Emerson has been on a walk in nature and felt exhilarated by the experience with no other special reasons
for feeling that way
• He is glad to the brink of fear (on the edge between exhilaration and terror)
• He feels that one can feel as if they return to a kind of youthful excitement when in nature
• compares it to casting off the years like a snake casts off its skin
• He compares it to a ritual (decorum = dignified propriety of behavior, speech, dress, etc.)
• He calls the woods “plantations of God” – compare to “City of God” in first paragraph)
• Implies that God is both in the stars and in nature
• In those moments of pure exhilaration while in nature:
• He says that we return to reason and faith (these are contradictory) – Transcendentalists believed in
science AND God
• He feels, in those moments, like nothing bad can happen – as if nature can repair any ills
• He feels the breeze
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• He feels as if he is lifted by the exhilaration into an endless space (FEELS – not actual)
• He feels like all meanness vanishes
• He becomes a transparent eyeball
• Metaphor comparing (1) the experience of being deeply connected to nature TO (2) a
transparent eyeball
• Transparent = having the property of transmitting rays of light through its
substance so that bodies situated beyond or behind can be distinctly seen.
• Eyeball = the entire ball-shaped part of the eye
• Eye can be pun (same sound / two different words) on I (eye / I)
• Eye is how you see – how one experiences – I is who you are and how you see – Implication
= the eye and the I are how one experiences nature
• So the implication is that this is a transparent “I”
• Thus– we can infer that the moment 0f the I and the eye is deeply connected to nature AND
• He is part of God / particle of God  THUS he deeply connects to God while in nature (for, in a
sense, God is nature // nature is God
• He connects because of his awe for the stars (“City of God” and his consequential connection to all
of nature (plantations of God) because he is open to the influence
• In those moments other human beings feel far away (back to first paragraph) / inconsequential
• He finds something inherently essential in his deep connection to nature (and thus God)
• This deep connection suggests a mystical relationship between a person and the vegetation of nature
• Personification as if nature sees him / he sees nature
• Nature– even though familiar– always seems new (refers back to second paragraph of essay)
• In those moments it is a higher thought– a thought more intense and heightened than ordinary
thoughts
• However– this connection to nature is primarily grounded in the individual
• One brings their emotions to nature (once can feel happier or elevated by nature– but the
ownership of the feelings is the individual)
Essential Quotes (You can break them up and / or block them)
To go into solitude, a man needs to retire as much from his chamber as from society. I am not solitary whilst I read
and write, though nobody is with me. But if a man would be alone, let him look at the stars
———————————————————————————————————————————————
The stars awaken a certain reverence, because though always present, they are inaccessible; but all natural objects
make a kindred impression, when the mind is open to their influence.
———————————————————————————————————————————————
When we speak of nature in this manner, we have a distinct but most poetical sense in the mind. We mean the
integrity of impression made by manifold natural objects. It is this which distinguishes the stick of timber of the woodcutter,
from the tree of the poet.
———————————————————————————————————————————————
To speak truly, few adult persons can see nature. Most persons do not see the sun. At least they have a very
superficial seeing. The sun illuminates only the eye of the man, but shines into the eye and the heart of the child. The
lover of nature is he whose inward and outward senses are still truly adjusted to each other; who has retained the
spirit of infancy even into the era of manhood. His intercourse with heaven and earth becomes part of his daily food.
———————————————————————————————————————————————
Crossing a bare common, in snow puddles, at twilight, under a clouded sky, without having in my thoughts any
occurrence of special good fortune, I have enjoyed a perfect exhilaration.
———————————————————————————————————————————————
There I feel that nothing can befall me in life, — no disgrace, no calamity, (leaving me my eyes,) which nature cannot
repair. Standing on the bare ground, — my head bathed by the blithe air, and uplifted into infinite space, — all mean
egotism vanishes. I become a transparent eye-ball; I am nothing; I see all; the currents of the Universal Being circulate
through me; I am part or particle of God

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