There comes a moment in a man’s life when some wisdom starts creeping into his brain, and this wisdom, although its acquisition is traditionally scarcely voluntary, aids him in the many dimensions of his life, but most of all, it help him understand himself, and, perhaps as a
consequent, life.
As for me, I’ve always been the odd one out; at home, at school, in the street.
At home, I was raised with three sisters, all older than I am. At school, I was the class nerd because I excelled at languages (a paradox in my society) and I was never quite the loud charismatic one, unlike most boys around me.
In the street, I wasn’t comfortable walking alone; I felt out of place and a sense of being exposed haunted me, exacerbated by the looks that followed me.
As a child growing into adolescence, I was amazed at how different I am from other boys in my limited environment (I admit I was introverted).
The difference had always been there, but I’d never been able to cognize its immensity. While other boys would play soccer, I would stay at home baking cookies. As I grew, I tried to be more open and positive, but by the time, the underlying sense of how diametrically different I was from others never evaded me; no matter what I did, it wouldn’t hush. An inexplicable feeling that I would never be accepted weighed me down, preventing me from hoping to go further, and whatever I did only added more to that weight, widening further the already vast chasm. That sense of lack of communication led me to practice individual sports where I can meditate such as swimming and jogging.
I began doubting myself. As the evidence showed me, I clearly had an underlying fault which made me repulsive on sight. I shriveled up and detested the sun’s rays. I’d come to realize why so many poets rhymed to the silence of solitude. Life became a black abyss which slowly pulled me down into its nefarious emptiness. But, something inside me stirred, perhaps my will to survive. As a defense mechanism, I took voluntary refuge in carefully selected ‘fixations’; delving into a subject to take my mind off of life. My fixations were many, with my latest being over Dalida -a French singer- during which I ameliorated my French language.
This lasted for some time until recently, when some wisdom started lighting up the little neurons in my brain. I was hit by an epiphany: Life had been setting me up for greatness. The idea, though simple, packs a potent punch. Every person that walked this earth had a great challenge to overcome, but only the great ones did. Others forgot that greatness is composed of ordinary things, such as a luxurious yacht is built by normal wood and ordinary nails, that we all have warrior instinct and that we all have inner strength. Thus, greatness is in the reach of all. The mountains we have to conquer only help us to harness that strength. From that vantage point, it becomes clear that we’re meant to achieve greatness, and no gain comes without hard work and a limited amount of pain
In a humble attempt, and armed with a new found self-esteem, I have taken many steps to improve my life, and to mention all of them here would be cumbersome. So I will only mention one: My quest for knowledge. Strength without knowledge is destruction, knowledge without strength is a life wasted. Life has given me (I genuinely hope) strength, and I plan on learning everything there is about life.
I would like to conclude my essay with this inspiring quote:
“Do today what others won’t, so tomorrow you can do what others can’t.”
