Discussion 2: Building a Better Dialogue
Building a better conflict dialogue involves becoming more familiar with the content issues, being aware of the characteristics of both parties to the conflict and understanding the processes that will move the conflict along. This course has focused on the intangibles and communication strategies for enhancing positive conflict. These are the places where you gain more confidence and the ability to act intentionally and proactively in conflict situations.
You have learned about your preferred conflict style. What are your second and third most often used styles, your back-up styles? These are the styles most easily used when you determine that your primary style is not the most appropriate for a given situation. Although you may not have yet put any of this into practice in real time, it often helps to have options and tools that prepare you to enter into a situation. Let’s take a look at how this information has affected your confidence and willingness to engage in conflict.
The conflict management tools that have been explored address self-management, management of the relationship with others, and management of the climate for conflict. Consider how your approach to each of these has shifted?
To prepare for this Discussion, pay particular attention to the following Learning Resources:
• Review this week’s Learning Resources, especially:
o Positive Juice. (2010, February 27). No. Don’t hurry up. Think it over and take your sweet time [Blog post]. Retrieved from http://positivejuice.wordpress.com/2010/02/27/no-dont-hurry-up-think-it-over-and-take-your-sweet-time/
o Yu, L., & Zellmer-Bruhn, M. (2018). Introducing team mindfulness and considering its safeguard role against conflict transformation and social undermining. Academy of Management Journal, 61(1), 324–347.
o TED. (Producer). (2012, June). Margaret Heffernan: Dare to disagree [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.ted.com/talks/margaret_heffernan_dare_to_disagree
Cahn, D. D., & Abigail, R. A. (2014). Managing conflict through communication (5th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education.
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Assignment:
Respond by to at least two of your peers’ postings in one or more of the following ways:
• Based on your peer’s post, what have you learned that will help you handle difficult conflict situations more effectively, especially in messy conflict situations?
• Conflict is critical thinking at its best. Overall, how has your attitude towards conflict shifted or been reinforced by what you have learned from your peer’s post?
• The premise of the Managing Conflict Through Communication textbook is that communication strategies can produce constructive or destructive conflict situations. In what ways could this concept help your peer build a better dialogue when preventing or engaging in conflict?
• 3 -4 paragraphs
• No plagiarism
• APA citing
1st Colleague – Natasha MIlls
Natasha Mills
Building a Better Dialogue
My preferred style of engaging in conflict is confronting. The two other preferred styles are smoothing and compromising. I expect the transition to be easy because I often assess the conflict situation to know what style would be the most appropriate. Therefore, I easily transition from my most preferred style to either smoothing or compromising and other times even withdrawing for more positive outcomes. Simply, I am not always rigid when it comes to shifting from one conflict style to another. Heffernan (TED. Producer, 2012) refers to this as a preparation to change our minds as a way of engaging in constructive conflict.
Building trust in relationships involves the elements of risk and motivation (Furlong, 2005). Managing face, on the other hand, concerns the perceptions that individuals have about themselves and others (Cahn & Abigail, 2014). To be stronger in the area of building trust, I have to have high levels of risk tolerance and infer and interpret my motives, as well as that of those I am interacting with more accurately. Positive face management is also fundamental in settling conflict constructively. It involves getting other people to show acceptance of our competence, value what we value, and support us (Cahn & Abigail, 2014). When we achieve this, we are also obligated to reciprocate, leading to positive conflict. Therefore, the willingness to take risks by confronting conflict, our motivations behind the confrontation, and the application of positive face management, contribute to cooperative relations in a conflict setting by creating a nurturing conflict environment that leads to constructive conflict.
I have experienced many conflict situations with toxic elements. Some have been with competitive colleagues, others who abuse their power during conflict, and situations involving a lot of distrust, all counting as harmful conflict climates (Cahn & Abigail, 2014). These toxic conflict elements always lead to negative or win-lose outcomes. The most effective climate management strategy that I will use to mitigate such toxic climates and create a supportive environment is converting competition to cooperation. The toxic conflict environments I have experienced have mostly been caused by competition and abuse of power. According to Cahn & Abigail (2014), converting competition to cooperation is the best way to turn these toxic situations into cooperative ones and achieve positive outcomes.
A nurturing conflict climate will also help mitigate the toxic elements that I have experienced during conflict and create a supportive environment. This is because a nurturing conflict climate is characterized by openness, assertiveness, supportive behavior, trust, cooperation, and equal power, among other features (Cahn & Abigail, 2014). In other words, the dynamics of a nurturing conflict climate create a supportive and collaborative environment where people can raise and address issues constructively as opposed to the current norm where people within organizations are afraid to raise issues due to the fear of provoking or losing (TED. Producer, 2012).
My experience and feelings about conflict before this course were considerably negative. At the same time, I was not courageous enough to face conflict due to the perception that it is always a win-lose situation. However, after the several discussions I have engaged in, as well as going through the course materials, I have become bolder, more prepared, and more comfortable with engaging in conflict. For instance, I have learned about viewing conflict as an opportunity that could lead to positive outcomes where both parties do not only get to win, but also get more value as the outcome of the conflict (Hagemann & Stroope, 2012). I have put these lessons into practice in the few conflict situations I have experienced since acquiring them, and the outcomes have been remarkable.
Cahn, D. D., & Abigail, R. A. (2014). Managing conflict through communication (5th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education.
Furlong, G. T. (2005). The conflict resolution toolbox: Models and maps for analyzing, diagnosing, and resolving conflict. Mississauga, Ontario: John Wiley & Sons Canada.
Hagemann, B., & Stroope, S. (2012). Conflict management: Lessons from the second grade. Talent Development, 66(7), 58–61.
TED. (Producer). (2012, June). Margaret Heffernan: Dare to disagree [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.ted.com/talks/margaret_heffernan_dare_to_disagree
2nd Colleague – Donna Tizzano
Donna Tizzano
RE: Discussion 2 – Week 4
Dr. Fisher and Class
My preferred Style of engaging in conflict is Confronting, recognized by the high value I place on maintaining relationships and achieving my goals. A person who employs this type of Conflict Style demonstrates high cooperativeness and high assertiveness and strives to achieve a win-win resolution while making everyone happy (Thomas et al., 2008). I like to confront issues promptly and take steps toward a resolution that will satisfy everyone. Because of the characteristics that I possess, I would most easily flex to utilize the Style of Compromise, since this Style is closely linked to Confronting, and employs both cooperativeness and assertiveness but at intermediate not high levels. The resolution does satisfy everyone but only by partially achieving your goal. The other Style of Conflict I would be able to transition to would be Accommodating. This Style is reflective of people who employ characteristics of high cooperativeness and low assertiveness. Typically, someone who possesses the Conflict Style of Confronting would gravitate toward the Style of Competing since this Style reflects someone who is very assertive. People who use Confrontation to manage conflict employ assertiveness to attain their goal at the expense of others concerns. This approach is very uncharacteristic of my personality. I am more inclined to employ the characteristics of Accommodation, since this Style places a high value on relationships/cooperativeness (Thomas et al., 2008). I would rather sacrifice my concerns/goals rather than intentionally damaging the relationship between myself and a colleague.
Building a foundation of trust takes time and effort; it is not a process that can be rushed (Positive Juice, 2010). To create a foundation of trust, one must have self-awareness and own their words and actions. Leaders must communicate their values and beliefs to their colleagues and employees and ensure their behaviors and actions align with these values to successfully build a culture of trust (Kouzes & Posner, 2017). By consistently demonstrating the actions and behaviors I expect of others, a nurturing environment is developed, supporting strong interpersonal relationships with those I work with (Cahn & Abigail, 2014). Nurturing relationships are identified by supporting one another and not judging one another or casting blame. In conflict situations the discussion is centered around the issue, not blaming people, or triggering defense mechanisms (Cahn & Abigail, 2014). By employing behaviors that do not threaten, judge, or blame, we allow people to maintain face. When we deal with conflict constructively, we are respectful of one another and share our ideas and thoughts, trusting that our peers will receive them with an open mind. Constructive conflict enhances relationships (Cahn & Abigail, 2014). Cahn & Abigail (2014) share that conflict occurs because of the behaviors demonstrated by both individuals. Everyone has a choice to either demonstrate behaviors that will strengthen or weaken the relationship. When there is a foundation of trust among colleagues, both parties will use productive conflict communication and the tools of conflict management we have learned to successfully achieve a mutually agreed-upon resolution while maintaining face (Cahn & Abigail, 2014). The knowledge that I have learned about building a trusting relationship with others and managing face will allow me to manage and flex the characteristics that I possess, so I remain focused on the” issue” during conflict situations and ensure that I focus and support the traits that my colleagues and I have in common to aid us in achieving a successful resolution (Cahn & Abigail, 2014).
There are several toxic elements that can characterize conflict situations. When people choose to use toxic elements in managing conflict, they blame one another, create defensiveness among peers, undermine a colleague, or speak aggressively to one another. When we choose to use these elements to manage conflicts, instead of using techniques to productively manage conflict, we damage relationships (Cahn & Abigail, 2014). I work with a person who has a reputation for consistently managing conflict in a destructive manner. This person does not actively listen to others; she always talks over people and interrupts others in a very assertive way whenever someone suggests something that she is not in agreement with. Her goal is a win-lose outcome, with her striving to get her way all the time. The behaviors she demonstrates cause some people to shut down and avoid contributing their thoughts and ideas to the meeting. To create a supportive conflict climate when this person is present, I use collaboration to manage the conflict. This approach to conflict management results in a win-win resolution by using productive communication, active listening, and by respecting the differences of one another (Cahn & Abigail, 2014).
Although I did not avoid conflict situations at the beginning of this course, engaging in conflict caused me much stress and anxiety. Over the past three weeks, I have become much more comfortable engaging in conflict situations and feel confident that I have learned skills and now possess the tools to constructively manage conflict. I have employed some of the tools that I have learned from Hagemann and Stroope (2012) such as collaboration, negotiation, and talking it out to confront and manage conflict constructively while resisting the urge to avoid conflict. I also employ mindfulness or staying in the moment during conflict situations. This forces me to actively listen to what others are saying and helps me stay open to other people’s perspectives instead of worrying about what I am going to say next (Yu & Zellmer-Bruhn, 2018).
Last week, I was in a meeting where our new educator, who had just received his degree in education, passionately presented some ideas about how to decrease Central Line Infections in our patients. He provided statistics and studies on decreasing central line placements by developing an IV access team that could place midlines. I admired this person’s passion and appreciated the statistics he provided, but when other people, including myself, tried to express our ideas and point out the cost involved in this suggestion, he became defensive and reacted negatively. He kept interrupting, demonstrated negative body language, and shook his head back and forth whenever someone questioned him or commented on his idea. Later in the day, I received a text from the educator stating that he was sorry about his behavior during the meeting and hoped I was not angry. Instead of texting back and forth, I suggested we meet. During our discussion, I shared what we had learned from Johnson and Johnson (2014) about Constructive Controversy. I explained to him that brainstorming, hearing other people’s perspectives, ideas, and opinions, and questioning evidence and seeking clarification, can lead to creative and new ideas. I also explained how important it is to listen to other people’s perspectives since everyone brings different experiences and backgrounds to the table. I shared with him Margaret Heffernan’s thoughts to actively seek out people who possess different perspectives and ideas than we do (Producer, 2012). These colleagues challenge our ideas and perspectives in discussion to allow us to see things in a different way. In doing so, creative decisions are produced (Producer, 2012). After our conversation, the educator thanked me and said he had never considered the things I had shared with him about Constructive Conflict Management and that this would help him approach meetings and conflict differently.
I now view conflict as an opportunity to learn from others and to achieve mutually agreed upon decisions by sharing knowledge and creative ideas with one another.
Donna
References:
Cahn, D. D., & Abigail, R. A. (2014). Managing conflict through communication (5th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education.
Hagemann, B., & Stroope, S. (2012). Conflict management: Lessons from the second grade. Talent Development, 66(7), 58–61.
Kouzes, J.M., & Posner, B.Z. (2017). The leadership challenge: How to make extraordinary things happen in organizations. Hoboken, NJ: Wiley and Sons.
TED. (Producer). (2012, June). Margaret Heffernan: Dare to disagree [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.ted.com/talks/margaret_heffernan_dare_to_disagree
Thomas, K. W., Thomas, G. F., & Schaubhut, N. (2008). Conflict styles of men and women at six organization levels. International Journal of Conflict Management, 19(2), 148–166.
Yu, L., & Zellmer-Bruhn, M. (2018). Introducing team mindfulness and considering its safeguard role against conflict transformation and social undermining. Academy of Management Journal, 61(1), 324-347.
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Discussion 2: Creating a More Effective Dialogue
Building a better conflict discussion entails becoming more acquainted with the content issues, being aware of the characteristics of both conflict parties, and comprehending the processes that will move the dispute forward. This training concentrated on intangibles and communication tactics for promoting constructive conflict. These are the venues where you will build confidence and the ability to behave deliberately and proactively in conflict situations.
You’ve discovered your chosen conflict resolution approach. What are your backup styles, your second and third most frequently utilized styles? These are the styles that come in handy when you realize your primary style isn’t the best fit for a specific occasion. Despite the fact that you may not have yet put
